Q: How can I get in touch with you? A: Figure it out.
Q: Is it true that someone died while reading something on your site?
A: They had a tumor that caused their head to explode. We do not feel responsible.
Q: How long before I receive my order?
A: Are we going to send you something?
Q: I find this site offensive. What should I do?
A: Contact the internet police. Go ahead, we dare you!
Q: How long has this site been in business?
A: Since 1822.
Q: Will you keep me updated about anything new that is added to the site?
A: No, because that would make us work.
Q: Am I going to make new friends by visiting this site?
A: Definitely not.
Q: Do you like dogs or cats?
A: To eat?
Q: Have you been drinking?
Q: Were you drunk when you wrote "Frogman"?
A: Like you would not believe.
Q: If I send you a comment, will I be taken seriously?
Q: I wrote a lovely poem. Could you put it on your site?
A: How well do you take rejection?
Q: I find your stories offensive. You make me sick! Get a life!
A: (This isn't a question, but we find it funny. And we get this quite frequently.)
Q: How do I submit a story?
A: Send it to: email@example.com
Q: I have a complaint about something. How do I get in touch with you?
A: Send any complaints or comments to: Snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com
Q: Will you respond to the email I send to you?
A: Oh yes.