The Dick Van Dyke Show Quotes

"There was something ageless with him. Probably 100,000 jokes in his head went with him." -- Dick Van Dyke on the death of Morey Amsterdam, the comic actor best known as the wisecracking television writer on "The Dick Van Dyke Show."

"Marriage, like a lot of other things, has boundaries and to some guys those boundaries represent walls and that makes marriage a prison to them but to other guys those boundaries hold everything that's good and fun in life." ##

Buddy (to Rob): "You keep that up and you'll end up on a hospital show!" #

Laura: "You wanna end up another Dwight Heatherton? Go ahead!" Rob: "Who's that?" Laura: "Dwight Heatheron happens to be an excellent writer who is unknown because he gets no publicity." Rob: "Then how do you know him?"

Laura: "Rob, let me ask you something. Are you doing this because you're afraid of Alan?" Rob: "No, I'm doing it because I respect Alan Brady. A man of his caliber has great firing power."

Sally: "Time to go home and feed Mr. Henderson." Buddy: "What kind of name is that for a cat?" Sally: "This coming from a man who has a wife named Pickles and a dog named Larry!"

Mel (to Buddy): "Yeecchh!"

Rob (to Laura): "...Washington said farewell to his troops in less time."

Alan: "Why didn't someone tell me? I would have worn my hair!"

Rob: "If it's food eat it. If it's a telephone number, call it!"

Rob (to Laura): "Three out of four doctors will tell you that the cupcake test is not always conclusive."

Rob: "Hominy grits!" Sally: "Oh, about forty or fifty."

Jerry (to Rob): "Listen, we can hug all you want at home, but on the boat, never touch me!"

Ritchie (to Rob): "I like Mommy's bananas better!"

# quote suggested by Kyle Hankins ## quote suggested by Dona Howell