CHAPTER TWO "Strawberries.That's the first thing I smell when I wake up.Man,I feel.....I dunno.Light,I guess.Except my chest.My chest feels heavy.Wait!I got shot!I can't see!God,I can't see!! "That's because you have hair over your eyes,Mike.",states Dorphixius. Mike brushes the hair out of his face."I got shot and it hurt like a sonnuva bitch!You lied to me! Dorphixius:"Of course I did.I'm a demon.But tell me,are you hurting now?" "Well,no.But I got shot right here."Mike places his hand upon his chest and then notices something in the way. "I got a tit!Waitaminnit....I got two tits!",exclaims Mike.He spots a mirror on the dresser nearby and runs towards it.It takes ten minutes before he can make a rational thought as the tears roll down his face and refuse to stop. "You made me look like a woman.Like a dead woman.",whispers Mike. Dorphixius:"No.You are a woman now.I transferred your soul into Angela's empty shell.I told you that body comes in handy." Mike:"I'm a woman.What am I suppossed to do now?" Dorphixius:"If you're talking about sex.....there are attractive lesbians. Mike:"I'm a man!I want to stick'em,not lick'em!" Dorphixius:"Congradulations.It's taken you fifteen minutes to be a bitch.The operation is a success.If you would stop and think for a minute,you'd realize I've given you the opportunity of a lifetime.You have witnesses to confirm that Mike Douglas is dead.Now you can roam around in a new identity,totally free from your old life.So,stop being a pussy.If your aspect was stronger,you'd be able to pee standing up." Mike:"What are you talking about?You're stuck in that female cat's body and I'm a woman!" Dorphixius:"Do you honestly believe this cat had blue eyes,red-tipped ears and tail,before I entered it?My spirit is stronger than any cat.If you paid more attention,you'd notice I'm bigger than I was since we first met and that the white part of my fur is starting to become black.The longer I stay in this body,the more my true nature manifests itself." Mike:"How did you get me here?How?" Dorphixius:"I placed your blood on her tongue after you left.The elixir you drank made you more receptive for the transfer.I prepped her body and cast the proper spells.I decided to go check on you,because frankly,I didn't trust you.And lo and behold,you get yourself killed.I was going to wait until you went to sleep later on to do the transfer,but getting yourself killed sped up my timetable.All I had to do was put my mouth to yours and take your soul away.Thanks to the elixir,it hadn't left yet." Mike:"Put your mouth over mine.,,Isn't that what cats do to babies?" Dorphixius:"Yes,They do that to add the baby's life to theirs and to stay the center of attention.It's part of the reason why dogs hate cats. Mike:"What are you talking about?" Dorphixius:"Not long after cats were created,they were pretty much like they are now.Rather arrogant creatures seeking attention and recognition and doing nothing to deserve it." "Like fallen angels.",interupts Mike. "As I was saying",continues Dorphixius:"they didn't like the fact that man preferred canines to them,hence the term "man's best friend".So,a few of them got together to make a deal with several of my kind to make man suffer by shortening the canines' lives,while extending theirs.So,certain cats to this day actually have nine lives,while a dog ages every seven years for each one of man's year.It's no coincidence that cats are associated with evil.Their highpoint I must say,was when Egypt was the world power.But I digress.Every dog born,knows that their lives are shortened because of cats.Hence,the age old feud," Mike:"Well,whoop-de-friggin'-doo.You and your friends just love to piss and $#@% all over everybody,dontcha?" Dorphixis:"Awww,now cheer up,"Angela".Because now the real fun can start." (ring,ring) "It's the phone.Give it to me." Mike picks up the receiver and puts it to Dorphixius' face. Dorphixius in Angela's voice:"Hello?Oh,hi!I was just giving a friend a makeover.What's up?Really?Sure.I'm on vacation right now and was looking for a little distraction.Fine.Meet you there.",says Dorphixius,smiling. "Whatever it is,I'm not gonna do it.",says Mke. "Oh,you'll do it,all right.That is if you don't want to be on the receiving end of my manhood,when it manifests itself.All three of them.At once." "....I meant,I'm not doing anything until I bathe and get something to eat.",replies Mike. "Are you still crying?Look,here's some money from Angela's vacation pay.Go get what I need on this list by five o'clock and I won't tell my friends you're single." "Riiiiight!I'll just put this in my coat until it's time to...Where's my coat?!" "You were wearing it when they carried your body out of the house.",remarks Dorphixius. "But the bo...wallet.My wallet,was in there,with my money and other stuff.",raves Mike frantically. "Are you crying,again?What's done is done.Now do what I told you to do.You have a busy day ahead of you.",replies Dorphxius,as he perches himself on top of the dresser.His claws leaving marks along the way. "Well,this must be the place,judging from what that rottweiler told me.That cat showed up here after he left Douglas' corpse.I think it's time to find out what's going on around here.",thinks Sparky,as he looks through the back window."Nice place.Wish I could say the same for the tenants.Now if this was a movie,there'd be a dogflap I could go through.I'll just have to wait and see who comes out.Try to see what I'm up against." Later: "I can't believe I'm doing this.I've gotta find a way to get that book back.It's probably my best chance at killin' that cat and gettin' outta this body.I'm not gonna be his little chew toy.I need that book! That cats got me runnin' all over town.'The walk will do you good,until Angela's car gets out of the shop.We have appointments to keep and we need to be ready.' Piss on him!I don't need this crap. Then Mike spots something out of the corner of his eye.That dog has been following me since I left the house.Is he in "heat" or somethin'?For two bucks and a bag of rice I'd make Chinese outta him and that cat.Wait-a-frikkin'-minute!A dog!!Maybe I can use the dog!They hate cats.If I use a dog against him,he wn't suspect I had anything to do with it,cause of tat age-old feud thing,he was telling me about.If the dog kills him...Great!If not,I can see what that cat's capable of.I gotta get him before he goes "full" demon on me. Phweeeeeett!!Here,boy!Come on!Look what I've got for you.A nice big bag of chewy treats.You've been following me all day!Get over here,mutt!" "I'm not your "boy" and I'm not a mutt!The name's Sparky and we need to talk." *************************************************** "Man,now that's what I calls "good eatin'!" "You'd call a bag of nacho chips and sausage links 'good eatin',Bill." "Damn skippy!I ain't no racist when it comes to food.Thai,Mandarin,Mexican,Italian,Soul,it all has a place in my "melting pot"!,laughs Bill. "This is really a good steak,Bill." "Yeah,they ain't stingy when it comes to portions!It oughtta be against the law to eat this good.Eat up,Jace,it's on me.And the night ain't over,yet.I got us some tapes,snacks and a little something extra." "Look Bill,I don't know if I'm up for all of that.I'm kind of bushed." "Doin' what?Brooding?You're the one who always finishes what he starts.Don't tell me,you're about to back out,now." "It's just that I can't help but think about the Willis murder." "What'chu talkin' bout,Jace?" "That's not funny." "You're right.Neither is living in the past about a murder case that's dead and buried.You got the guy.It's over.You'll never have to deal with him again.Now,let's have a good time.You're ruining my appetite." "I find that hard to believe,but okay.You may have a point.Maybe." ************************************************** "Okay,it's not like I don't appreciate this "boys night out",but why are we spending the rest of the evening at my house?" "Because Shirley'll kill me if we mess up the house.You're a bachelor,so if anything goes wrong,it's cool." "You're a true 'friend",Bill.We've gone through two movies,so far.What else you got?" 'Oh,just these little extras,right here." "A Hard Day's Night and I Wanna Hold Your...Bill,these aren't song titles and your not my type." "$#%^!You wish you could handle this Alabama black snake!I still don't know how Shirley does it.I got these tapes,so you can start relieving some of that tension and..... Bill gets cut off by the doorbell.He gets up to answer it. "What do you think you're doing?" "Relax.This is one of those extras I was talking about,earlier." The door opens. "Jason V. Manley,I'd like you to meet my cousin,Angela B. Louis." ************************************************** "This is un-frikkin-real!I'm in the body of a dead woman,who happens to be cousins with a cop,who's best friends with the cop that killed me.You cannot tell me that that cat didn't know about this.As soon as I get out of here,I'm gonna kill,everybody:dogs,cats,kids,bugs,everything.It's the only way I'll be safe.If no one's around,then nothin' can hurt me,anymore." "Hey,Angela!Snap out of it.It's your turn.You got any blues?" "Huh?Uhh,draw two.Look I really have to use the john,so I'll just excuse myself,if you don't mind." "The bathroom's upstairs,down the hall and to the left." "Thanks,James." "Jason." "Whatever.",mumbles "Angela",as she climbs the stairs. "Uh,sorry about my cousin.She's usually more upbeat than this.She just got out of a bad relationship and I figured you two would hit it off." "Actually,she's kind of refreshing.She doesn't put up any false pretenses and makes no bones about it.What I can't get over is her eyes.There's just something about them and I can't put my finger on it." Upstairs: "Man,that felt good.I haven't gone all day.Now,all I have to do is go downstairs,say my periods just started and leave.Then I can work on killing everybody.",says Mike,as he walks down the hallway.Suddenly,he feels a "tug" as he pases one of the rooms.The sensation gets stronger as he enters the room.He doesn't bother with the lights.He already knows where to go,as he approaches the nightstand,pulls open the drawer and surveys it's contents. "Happy Hallelujah!It's the book!That sonnuvagun,took the book home with him!God bless 'im!All I gotta do is take this .....%#@$!I don't have any pockets in this outfit.I can't hide the damn thing.@$#%!Okay,calm down.All I've gotta do is be patient and break-in when he's at work or somethin'.Then I can start cleanin' house.Booyah!" Later,as the night rolls on: "Well,I'll see you later,Jace.Take it easy." "You bet.Nice to meet you Angela." "Same here.Maybe we can do this again,sometime?" "I'm game." "What?!You mean to tell me you actually gave a straight answer,instead of saying 'maybe'?Now I done seen everything.Next,you'll start having sex." "Goodnight,Bill.Angela.",replies Jason as he closes the door. "See?I told you I'd hook you up." "Yeah.You helped me quite a bit,Bart." "Bill." "That's what I said." "No,you didn't.But,you can make it up to me by treating me to some grub down the street,at that twenty-four hour coney place." "It's a deal,cuz." ************************************************** "I really hope Mike can keep it together,a while longer.Unless something miraculous happens soon,I think he's going to snap.I know I almost did,when I woke up in this dog's body." Years earlier: "Where am I?I thought I died?" "You did,Jeremy Sutherland." "Is this Heaven or Hell?" "It's Earth.So,it can be either,depending on what you do." "I don't understand.Who are you?What are you?My guardian angel or something?" "Yes.I am Amiguel.Although,I do not deserve the title 'guardian',any longer.You died while under my charge,before your time.I allowed myself to be distracted for the briefest of instants and changed infinite possibilities linked to your existence. I pray to Almighty God through faith in His son,Jesus Christ,for forgiveness!You needed help and I failed in my duties.I placed your soul into this pup,to give you a second chance and I confess.....hide my own sins.But,how do you hide from Omniscience? You will not be alone in this form.For my penance,I have merged with you.You shall be the dominant spirit,able to call upon the smallest fraction of my abilities.What you do with what I have given you is up to you,for you have been blessed with free will.Farewell and God speed." "This one,mommy!I want this one!" "Alright,Walter.We'll take this one.Ooooh!What pretty eyes he has!Like two halos.What are you going to call him?" "Sparky!" Back to the present: "God grant me the serenity I need to go on.I miss my old life.This body ages too quickly.I'm going to need all of my wits about me.Demons were once angels and should never be underestimated.One of the good things about being a dog is sensing the supernatural.There may be a few random spirits around Angela's house that can fill me in on the demon's activities,just in case Mike can't handle it. (sniff,sniff) Rain's coming in from the west.It's going to be cold and heavy.I hate how I smell when I get wet,but I have to have back-ups,in case Mike snaps.If I can just get a good look at "Dorphixius",I might be able to figure out who I'm up against.There's no way a demon is going to tell anyone it's real name.At least,it's just the one and not a host of demons inside the cat.I hope." ****************************************************** "Randy,where's the corpse we were looking at,the other night?I need another sample of that blue-green goo we found in his stomach." "What happened to the sample you had?" "It's gone.I must've mispaced it,somewhere." "Last drawer,third row.You want some of my corned beef sandwich?I'm stuffed." "No,thanks.",he opens the drawer. "I thought you said the body was in here." "It is." "Then come over here and take a look." "He was in here last night!Check the logs and see who's been in and out,since last night." "Uh,Randy?I really hope someone took that body." "Why'd you say that?" "Because,the lock has been broken from the inside." The rain begins. (knock,knock) The door opens and the cold,wet stranger enters Angela's home and locks the door behind him. "Razuel?Are you here?" From out of the shadows,Dorphixius climbs down from the wall,nearby. "Never call me that,unless you're certain that we're alone!If the human had heard you call me that,there could literally,be Hell to pay." "My apologies.What shall I call you?" "Dorphixius.And you shall be Ravesat,Neviel." "You just said my name!The human...!" "Is not here,so we may talk freely.How do you like your new form?" "It is becoming less stiff,the more I use it.Who was he?" "The shell of my current protege'.I placed his spirit in the shell of the woman who summoned me,while giving you an entrance into the physical world.I say,let the mortal do our work for us and everyone else can stay in Hell.I for one,am glad to be here." "As am I.But,what of Treviel and Mercel?" "We'll get to them in time.Thanks to my protege',we have most of the ingredients needed for future summonings...",Razuel is cut off by Neviel's laughter. "What is so funny?" "You.You're a feline.Not even a major feline.Just a simple housecat.Oh,it's obvious that your aspect is beginning to show itself,but we both know that being cast into such a lower form will diminish you.Now,since I was cast into the body of a man,my abilities will be MORE powerful than yours.Making me the head demon." "Really,Neviel?You must think me quite the fool,not to take precautions against such a thing,my diminished friend." "Speak not to me in riddles!What do you mean "diminished"?" "Only that I added a few "choice" ingredients that would allow that body to access a limited portion of your abilities.Anymore than that and that body will return to the dust from whence it came.Sending you back to Hell,in the process.You'll have enough power to be man's better,but not mine." "You're lying!You're...." "Am I?I was stupid once and wound up in Hell.I'm not going to let you or anyone else,send me back.Soooooo now,who's the head demon?" "You are." "Yes.Yes,I am.",and then Razuel laughs and laughs and laughs. ***************************************************** "Man,that guy can talk and eat!Fifteen-twentyone for a "snack"!If I hadn' been able to pump him for information about Manley,he'd be washin' dishes,right now.Once I get that book back,I might not even need that dog's help.No,can't think like that.If that dog's an angel or somethin',I could score big brownie points,working with him.I might even get to be a man again.Yeah,the sooner I get out of this body,the better.It just feels too weird,walkin' and all I feel is my legs goin' back and forth and nothin' else.Although,if I walk a certain way,it's kind of arousing......!?!I can't believe I just thought that.I gotta get outta this body!Phweeeeeet!!Hey,taxi! The cab pulls over and Mike gets in. "Where to?" "Belle Isle.I need to clear my head."