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I had every intention to answer each of your awesome messages of love and encouragement while Bill was so ill. However, aol did it's thing again and I lost all your messages. So please forgive this mass reply and I pray those prayer groups that carried the requests will send this out, so everyone will know how things are.  Several have written and asked me if there was any special sign between when Bill said he was dying and he came out of the mental sleep he had been in. I would like to share what is in my heart about this very miraculous time. I truly believe it is all connected with the gift given to mankind in the New Birth of a precious Baby born in a stable so very long ago. With the birth of Jesus we all were given the choice of being born again. I know that is what happened to Bill sometime between 6:00 PM November 18th and 6:00 AM November 19th! Bill shared with me that after Pastor Janda came and told him he was not a quitter and he could not give up.. he first became very sad. Sometime later he said he had a vision or dream. He was walking on a road and it was very very foggy. But even though it was so foggy he could see Scott in the distance and it seemed so real he tried to reach out for Scott's hand. Before Bill could reach him, Scott disappeared. For those of you who don't know or might have forgotten Scott is our Son who died on 2-28-06. Bill said he called for Scott and as Scott disappeared from his view such an awesome sweet peace came over him like his whole body had changed. His pain was gone and there was nothing but peace and a feeling of extreme joy. I believe this was happening while I was in the chapel praying. I too was so distraught I was begging God to let Bill live, but the more I prayed that way, the more upset I became. Finally I fell on my knees before a chair and cried out for forgiveness for all the wrongs I had done. It wasn't long before I cried out.. Father I place Bill in Your hands.. Let Your will be done.. not mine. I know you will see me through whatever lies ahead." I had no sooner said that then a sweet peace encompassed me and I went back to Bill's room and found him sleeping peacefully. No thrashing around, no muttering.. but sleeping with a sweet look of complete abandonment of his face. I believe this was a gift from God through Scott. When Scott disappeared from his Dad's view, it was to tell him, "It's not time yet Dad. You still have work to do," and the peace that came over Bill was the strength that gave him the will to live! Somewhere in that time frame, I believe all the prayers that was being said from all over the world for Bill touched God's heart, and Bill experienced being born anew. More miraculous, I too experienced a new heart, and like that Precious Baby in Bethlehem who was starting a new life which would lead to the gift of salvation for you and I, Bill and I were reborn too. There are not words enough to explain the wonder, the surprise, the pure joy of the staff at the rehab unit when they saw Bill that morning. I still remember the big smile on Dr. Kimm's face as he stood in the doorway to Bill's room and took in the miracle that was taking place in front of him. It's a miracle I told him, and his reply was.. "a miracle from all the prayer!" One nurse asked if they had moved a new man in Bill's room during the night! Bill became known as the walking miracle! There was a lot of new faith or stronger faith born that morning as well! Bill's new heart.... oh how loving, sweet, and so filled with such gratitude and thanksgiving! He prays with me! He asks for prayer when he is hurting!! His prayers are like that of a child.. but then why not, he is a new child in God! They are so filled with such emotion and gratitude, I still find myself choking up as I listen to this man pray. He acknowledges his need for Christ to take control of his life.. he prays for me!!!!! His language has done a hundred degree turn around, and if he slips, he immediately acknowledges his wrong. He is no longer a miser, and thanks God for what we have and no longer sits and worries about what he doesn't have. He has became so affectionate and oh how he has built my self esteem with all the compliments not only to me personally but tells everyone he would never had made it had it not been for "God, Pastor Janda and Kit standing beside me!" And my heart.. oh how God has blessed me. He has taken away old hurts and bitter feelings that has haunted me for years. He has shown me the plank in my own eye, which makes the faults I saw in Bill and my children small in comparison. I have been able to forgive Pam completely and we are once again sharing a loving relationship. I once thought I would never be able to forgive Bill for how he treated my Son Jeff, but oh how awesome to see how he treats and talks to Jeff now! A new birth of love has happened for my husband. I am like a teen ager falling madly in love with a man I have been married too for almost 44 years! I actually believe I love him more now than when I first fell in love with him. How is he doing physically? The doctors have told us he has broken all records for not only surviving this disease but regaining so much function, both physically and mentally in such short time. He is able to walk now around the house without the walker. His mental ability has increased to the point he can again do his crossword puzzles, and he often beats me in Scrabble! His kidneys have renewed themselves and his urinary problems are a thing of the past... Praise God! He is able to speak fluently again and has graduated from speech therapy! In fact to see and talk to him now you would never know a month ago he was dying. How very awesome is the Savior who made all this new birth possible! He still has a ways to go, so please don't stop praying.. but I know my Abba Father.. and He doesn't start something and not finish it! So I fervently believe when the window of improvement has closed for Bill.. he will have been healed by the mercy and grace of God! Each day now at the Johnson house there is a lot of laughter and expectations of a great day in the Lord! If you were a mouse in the corner you would hear a lot of "I love you!" and lots of thank you and the voices are soft with a jingle of happiness to them. Where once you use to sense the tension when you walked in the door, it is now truly a house where God dwells and you can feel the love in the hearts of a couple that God brought new life to. God bless you all for your prayers and your many notes of encouragement that helped me so much through these hard days. I pray that as the birthday of that Holy Child draws near, you too will find new life in your hearts.. new life that is full of Godly love, and caring for others. For those of you who have relationships that need mended, may the birth of the Holy Child bring you what Bill and I have received..a new love based on the only love that will last the storms of life.. Agape love!  Love n prayers for all.. Kit  The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. ~Burton Hillis~ |
"YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE"
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Written By Kit |
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