Rob: "Laura, do you know that 1 out of every 50 million women has the wrong baby?" Laura: "That's a cute trick. How does she manage it?" Rob: "No...no. She doesn't have it while she's having it. It's after she has it that she has it."

Alan: "What do you suggest I do with all these toupees, now, huh?" Laura: "Well, Alan, there must be some needy bald people...."

Buddy (to Mel): "Your hair didn't fall out---it fell in and clouded your brain."

Buddy: "Hey, play the Minute Waltz." Sally (at the piano): "I only know half of it." Buddy: "Play it twice!"

Buddy (to Sally): "My mother-in-law is spending a month with us for a couple of days."

Rob: "It's like being Clark Kent" Laura: "Huh?" Rob: "You know you're Superman, but you can't tell anybody. I never realized how he must have felt. Can you imagine how many times in that booth he wanted to pick up the phone and say 'Hi! I'm Superman!'"

Rob (to Laura): "It just so happens that I know me better than you know me 'cause I'm with myself almost constantly"

Buddy: "Rob, I've done a lot of things in my life, but I've never Uhny Uftzed anybody!"

Laura: "Oh, Rob!"

Sally (to Rob): "You feel sick or something, or has your brain just ran out of ideas?"

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