Paradise City (work notes) My next screenplay that I will re write and polish, is a horror film (there has to be a better term than that), called "Paradise City". It's my second attempt at horror, the first one, "Are You Afraid", will probably be my next re write polish job. Anyway, as I was reading through the rough draft, I discovered something. It SUCKED! Not the whole thing mind you, the beginning and ending, are respectable, but everything in between is in serious need of a revision. Which is cool, they all can't be gems from the start. I mean I did write it in 1989, when I was... (don't wanna give out my age). The premise is strong and still stands the test of time. I just have to work through the mess in the middle, which shouldn't be a problem, because I think a lot clearer, these days. I'll talk later, wish me luck. ---------------------December 1, 1999 12:21 P.M. Things are moving slow, but steady on my re write and polish of this project. I'm trying to write scary, and next to comedy, I think that it's the hardest genre to write. (that's why you'll never see me writing a comedy) I mean it has to be SCARY, otherwise, it doesn't work. I have made improvements on the minor details of the script, which will undoubtable help when I reach, 'the mess in the middle'. If you noticed, I said that this was my second attempt at horror, but that my next polish re write job will be "Are You Afraid", my first attempt. In case you are wondering why I chose to work on this one first, the reason is simple: Although I believe horror has to be scary to work. This screenplay can probably work as an adventure as well. But, "Are You Afraid", has got to be strictly scary, and I need to get back in horror mode before I take it on, and I can best do that with "Paradise City". Now that's not to say I don't think this script will be scary, because if it comes out like I believe it will, it'll be plenty scary enough. ----------------------December 11, 1999 3:54 P.M. EST. I have been able to pick up the pace on this project and I feel I have made improvements along the way. The first problem I had encountered with the original draft was that I had too many characters in the same place at the same time to kill off (it is horror you know, people die). And in my idea of a good scary picture, everyone dies with armageddon type consequences. So I had to find a way to eliminate characters before I reached the heart of the plot, without just deleting them from the script altogether. With that done, "the mess in the middle", has become a lot less of a mess and more of a work in progress. A lot of the action in the script was cluttered with too many smart alec remarks from the lead character. Comedy is fine in horror, but too much is a problem for me and I didn't want this to become too campy. So I have eliminated all but the most relevant comments, because in real life or death situations how many people are making wise cracks as they try to survive. And finally, I have eliminated a lot of the unnecessary explanation I had in the script. I mean what makes it scary is not knowing exactly why things are happening. But don't worry, for the most part everything has been explained so you'll know what's happening, if not why. I didn't have a time table for this rewrite, but before the New Year would be cool (so if Y2K means the end of the world, at least I'll have my last re write polish job of the century finished). ---------------------- December 26, 1999 11:36 A.M. EST. I had taken a little break from "Paradise City" to attend to other script related business, and now it's back to work. On my last update, I mentioned I was close to finishing this thing, I'm not finished yet, so that tells you what that meant. (Nothing). Anyway, I am getting close again, and if I can just find enough hours in the day, I can get it done shortly. I think it's very scary and I have a couple of twists in the script, that should take you by surprise. I think I have cleared away most of the nonsense and the other things in the script that had made it such a "mess" to begin with. I managed to make it through hell (when you read the script you'll get it) and now I'm just trying to make a way back before the final climax. I have to come up with a whole new ending, because the changes that I had made, makes my original ending obsolete. --------------------February 5, 2000 1:47 P.M. EST. I have been working on Paradise City pretty strongly for the last couple of days, and I'm pretty excited about the results so far. I managed to come up with the new ending, and I have started in earnest, with the intent to finish this re write polish. I was kind of stuck on where to go and how to end it after all of the changes I had made, but I sat down and outlined how I thought it should end, and came up with a reasonable ending. I do have one remaining problem, though, I have fallen in love with one of my characters, (a definite no-no) whom I had originally marked for death. As it stands now I am torn between finishing her off like I know I should, or saving her and giving her death to someone else. There is no upside to having her stick around, but gee whiz, she's been through so much, it'd be sad to see her go. Besides, it's not like I haven't saved characters who necks were in the guillotine before (Stiletto, in "For Those Who Dare", was supposed to be fish food long before the ending of that script and she managed to survive). I'll get back later, as I continue to battle my conscious. -------------------- February 8, 2000 6:36 P. M. EST. I have finished this draft of "Paradise City", and now it's down to putting it in its proper screenplay format. I solved my little character kill off dilemma, I went through with it just like I was supposed to, putting my personal feelings behind me. It was easier than I thought it would be because I did it quickly. And as it stands, it'll probably be a better script because of it. I also corrected a little minor detail, in the epilogue, something I didn't notice until the last minute. The surviving character would of done something so bone headily stupid that it would of made the script as a whole unbelievable. I feel kind of proud of the ending that I stuck with, having the character that I hated the most being the last survivor is something that I feel gives the whole script a realistic quality, lacking in most horror films. I probably won't be making too many more updates on this project until it is completed, but then again you never know. --------------------- February 15, 2000 6:48 P.M. EST. I'm pretty happy with the proper formatting progress, I am making with this script. It's going quickly because there isn't as much dialogue, as in some of my other screenplays. (And with me not being that good on a typewriter, or having one of those formatting programs, dialogue is what really slows me down) With that said, I'm still probably at least a week or two away from finishing it. I was kind of nervous of how the lack of a lot of dialogue would look on paper as a finished script, I keep hearing and reading of how 'studio readers' are intimidated by blocks of text on a script, but I was reassured by a couple of other screenwriters that I was on the right track. Besides, the scripts a good read, if I do say so myself. Seeing as how my other scripts have yet to award me an option, I think this one might be the first, unless "We Die Young" surprises me. But, now I'm getting ahead of myself, anyway. As of this morning, I am 65 pages in, on a projected 108 page screenplay. ---------------------- March 12, 2000 10:46 A.M. EST. I have just finished "Paradise City", it comes in at 107 pages, my shortest feature length script. I think I just set my non typing person's record, having completed the last 42 pages in less than 4 days. Earlier in these updates I mentioned being proud of not killing off the least favorite character in the script, that isn't the case because the character wasn't as unlikeable as I had originally thought. Anyway. I have no idea of when the synopsis is going up, ( I haven't written it yet) or when the dream casting call is going up (I haven't given it a thought). But, I will get it proof read (by someone other than me) and get it copyrighted as soon as possible, which might not be that soon, the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, is minutes away, my favorite time of the year, so who knows how much I will get done over the next three weeks. --------------------- March 16, 11:50 A.M. EST