BUTTERFLY GIRL Butterflies have such a short season. We shared a love of butterflies, I would give them to you, seeing them in thrift stores "Rachel would like that." Every time I see a butterfly I will think of you, butterfly girl. Like a bright monarch on the wing you have broken free from this caterpillar cocoon of life to dance with the angels into the flight of immortality. 8-2-07

CHANGE

Caterpillar to butterfly.
Time to eternity.
Tears to laughter
( though not for those of us
you have left behind ).
Change.
Heaven's song
and the weeping deluge
of time we will spend
without you.
Goodbye, Rachel!
God bless your soul.
Rest in peace.
8-2-07

BAD BAD NEWS ( Day of Tears July 30, 2007 ) Mom called "I have some very bad bad news. You had better sit down." "I'm sitting down, mom." and wondered if it were this and that and whomever but didn't know it would be what it was. "They found Rachel dead in her apartment." My heart breaks: for Libby, for Keturah, for Sarah; for Jacob, left motherless, for us all. It is unreal and I do not believe I will accept this reality of your dying at twenty-nine until I one day see your smiling face as you greet us on a tearless day in heaven. 8-2-07

CHATTERBOX I remember when Rachel was born. "She so much like me!" I thought. She is artistic and creative! A fey creature! A waif wild child with autumn hair and sky turquoise eyes, freckled cream skin. Night owl. Check. Paints. Check. Sings. Check. Artistic. Check. and TALKS TOO MUCH! Check. Check. A regular chatterbox, motormouth, jabberjaws. Yak yak yak going a million words a minute. Now you are gone. You took off to heaven to talk up a storm with dad and Megan and others who have gone before over on the shining streets of forever. I walk this boulevard of time and hear your excited whisper in the wind. I see your smile, hear your laughter through my tears covered discreetly with sunglasses so strangers don't see my grief. Chatterbox, motormouth, jabberjaws. Hey, Rach! Before you were born and started to talk everyone said I talked too much. Afterwards I would point to YOU hehehehe "Well, RACHEL talks as much as I do!" Oh Rachel! OH RACHEL! I wish you were HERE to talk too much! 8-2-07

CLONE ( for Libby )

Best cuz Chris and I
sit around laughing
about how there is
that picture of you
where everyone thinks
it is Rachel holding a baby
and it is YOU holding Rachel,
the little Libby clone...
knock off the old block,
the one your ex says
was the prettiest of his girls
( DUDE, guess WHAT, she looks
JUST LIKE LIBBY...Excuses,
denial...hahahahahaha
ya think? May-beee..).
Clone, auburn hair like an
autumn with the fresh turning
from a sunburnt summer.
Clone, bright blue eyes
full of laughter, full of life
and vitality, vibrant.
Skin like milk freckled
with sun kisses.
Who is that sitting
under an umbrella
smeared with white goop
and an attiitude
"Can we go home yet?
I HATE the beach!"
Nope, it was not a clone
of Bek and Jen
"Let's go to the tanning booth,
we aren't quite there yet..."
cocoa butter, no sunscreen
tanning oil, no that is not them...
And those blondies,
those golden Amazons of yours,
walk down the street with their
blonde aunt Cyd and duh,
who do people think
is their mother? Why it
must be the BLONDE
even though we know
it is NOT the blonde.
But then there
was Rachel... the clone.
Walk down the street and
just who is Rachel's mommy?
As if there was EVER
a moment of doubt!
It is Libby's CLONE!
There is a song on
Pat Benatar's first album
called "My clone sleeps alone."
Libby can write a brand new song:
My clone wakes in heaven."
Clone. "Who's the baby?"
Best cuz Chris asks.
"Rachel." Libby replies.. "
"I know Rachel
is holding the baby
but who's the baby?"
Chris asks again...
and again and again. "
"Rachel." says Libby
also again and again.
Finally she gets
exasperated and says
"That's ME.
The BABY is Rachel... "
the CLONE..
We all want
Libby's clone back.
They didn't break
the mold when
they made Libby.
They made this
beautiful incredible talented
and gifted loving clone...
We want Libby's clone back
but even saying please
with sugar on top of it,
pretty please
doesn't mean we
are gonna get
what we want,
what we need,
what we beg for.
Clone. Give us
back Libby's clone.
The original weeps alone
for her clone.
8-2-07 ..

TURTLE BLUES ( to Keturah )

Hard as stone, hard as rock,
adamant; diamond ten solid,
your shell has been
shattered by the reality
you do not know
how to accept..
Now broken into a harsh
beaten down surreality,
you are tender turtle meat
served up raw and wounded,
a world of hurt bruised by
the big sister who left you
to pick up the pieces of others.
But who can glue you
back together when the
strong has been made weak
from weeping and desolation?
Hold on to the memories
of the one who
has left you behind.
Swim in the oceans
of sweet, sweet recollection:
her smile, her laughter,
her beautiful soul now freed
to roam in brighter skies
than the ones she leaves you
to catch the storm in.
8-2-07

PRINCESS STAR ( for Sarah )

Princess Star
can you look up in the sky
and see the soul of a butterfly
who does shine upon your soul
and hopes to let you know
that she wants to hold your tender heart
and be a shining light in the dark,
to hush your weeping and your pain,
rising to eternity like a phoenix flame.
Princess Star
with a wound, a scar
your sister is gone but only for time.
She died too soon and now your tune
is one of a harsh discordant rhyme.
But one day your star will rise
brighter than any of fortune or fame.
A new song you will sing in heavenly skies
as you both praise Jesus' name.
Princess Star
you have fallen so far.
This grief, this hurt, this woe,
will not leave you until you see her again
on shiny glass clear streets of gold.
You will carry her next to you
as a memory bright.
But sing the song loud and true
though this long dark night
has covered you with sadness and grief
until her blue sky eyes and hair like
a shiny autumn leaf
are the colors you see
in an eternity
where we will have no sorrow,
a new tomorrow
that will not mar
with time's cruel mockery,
Princess Star.
8-2-07

A NEW SONG, A NEW DANCE Rachel, you didn't stay with us long. Just a taste of your laughter and then you were gone. Rachel, you didn't stay with us long. And now in eternity you sing a new song. The piper has piped for you a new tune as on an immortal road you journey on. Rachel you didn't stay with us long, You blessed a princess star and a turtle moon... One day you'll greet us, those left behind, in a place uncruel, a place so kind These tears we now weep, this pain that cuts so deep,, those tears will no longer be shed for one who has now fled beyond our imaginings onto streets of gold. Farewell, Rachel, autumn child of our collective soul, Farewell, Rachel, as you travel that road. God speed you to eternity. 8-2-07

More poetry on the next page ------>