©2002 Cynthia Helen Summers

An Introduction Once upon a time... and so the story goes... once there was a place...where there was a province ( though it was also called a kingdom ) in a country that was known as the borderlands. The borderlands were on the edge of what Lord Dunsany referred to as "the fields we know," the glittering, hauntingly beautiful twilight lands of the Fay and the sinister shadowy lands of the Witchkind. In these borderlands there was a province known as Rairrooinn. It was ruled by King Fluffindork who lived in the city of Kingstown. Rairrooinn ( pronounced RARE- ROW- IN ) was divided into three regions: the Far Reaches, the Deep Forest and The Near Reaches. A highway in the Deep Forest was the main artery that connected the three regions. There was the Outer or Far Reaches, a countryside of small towns and villages, meadowy fields and croplands. On one edge of the Far Reaches was the Shining Sea. The Rairrooinn River ( for which the province was named ) drained out of the Shining Sea at a swampy delta. It ran through the Deep Forest and emptied into a series of small lakes from streams or small rivers that branched out from it in all three regions. There were a number of towns along the Rairrooinn River though it wasn't wide enough for sea vessels to sail upon. On the other edge of the Far Reaches was the Deep Forest. It was a huge forest that separated the Far and Near Reaches. A highway, known as the Kings' Road wandered its way through the Deep Forest. There was also the River Road that barges and boats would travel down, There were a few towns and villages, as well as wayside inns and taverns, scattered along its length. For the most part, however, the Deep Forest was deep and dark with a labyrinth of twisting trails or no trails at all. The city of Kingstown stood on the other edge of the forest, along with the Near Reaches. The Inner or Near Reaches, were suburbian cities of industry that surrounded the remaining three corners of Kingstown. There was a belt of cities and towns all along the forest edge that separated the forest from the Near Reaches. These were all part of the Near Reaches.

Preferred Taste I like princes. I mean, I REALLY like princes. Yes, I suppose I am spoiled but then there might be a dragon in the wilds of Asia who has actually had a nibble on an Emperor. I can't even begin to imagine.... if an Emperor is even half as good as a prince...oh mercy! The very thought! It makes one shimmer and shake. My scales get quite musical at the very thought. But I really DO like princes. They are quite tasty. I realize that there are those who will feast on a peasant or a hundred. I would personally prefer to let my fires grow dim. Peasants indeed! Hurrumph!!! If you have ever dined on prince you would NEVER consider a peasant. Never, never, never!!!!!!! It just isn't done, you know. From prince to peasant: it is something that will NEVER be said about me { the earth trembles nearby as the aging dragon shudders at the thought of peasant goulash }. My fires will grow dim and I will fade into the side of my cave....NO, I cannot eat peasants. Once one has tasted a gourmets delight.... the ecstasy! It has been 200 years since I had my last prince... which is quite tragic as I REALLY, REALLY like princes.

I can't complain. Occasionally I go tromping into the countryside and stirring up the populace. They send me these dreary little virgins...bah! Too scrawny, every last one of them... tender pieces to be sure, but too lean and too salty ( all those stupid tears ). The knights, in their armor, are sent to rescue the weepy damsels. But, by the time their errant tardy rescuers arrive, the damsels are picked clean and marrow-chewed up bones to spit out. Bony little appelitzers, the lot of them. The knights are kind of nice, though. Not as good as a princes ( but then again, what is? ), but they'll do as a steady entree. Breathe a little flame to boil them in their little tin can suits, peel them out of the armor and then yum,... down the hatch! Still and all, they just aren't as good as princes . Had a nice fat squire just the other evening. But I sure would like a prince... I REALLY like princes. Such a delicacy... Will the dragon find a prince to gobble? Will she eat a peasant in desperation? Will the fires grow dim in the dragon's cave? Tune in next time for: All My Damsels In Distress ... or As The Prince On A Spit Turns....

His Princely Duty The Right Honorable Royal Highness His Own Majesty, Crown Prince Insufferablyn Pompouzasgetouttin, the Higher Than You Are Mighty One Of Brilliance Etcetera. Etcetera and So Forth of Glorrillellenor was riding along with his humble knight, the Lower Than His Majesty Lacky To Be Used And Abused But ONLY According To The Codes Of Princely Honor, Sir Huckledinkinswizzle ( known as Huck to just about everybody but The Right Honorable etc etc Crown Prince ) beside him. Their trusty steeds were having a slow time of it as Prince Insufferablyn waited patiently ( he FELT impatient but he waited patiently as was proper under the Princely Code of Honor ) as his humble knight slashed through the overgrowth in the great forest where the dragon that had been tearing up the countryside was supposed to be hiding out in. Prince Insufferablyn was attired in the latest of princely fashion. He wore a crimson brocade slashed with gold and silver threads tunic. A dragon was embroidered in pearls, rubies and diamonds on his broad chest. His gold satin tights were laced up the sides with crimson velvet. His crimson codpiece was slightly padded ( but only slightly ). On his feet were crimson and golden phoenix breast-hide boots with pointed toes and very high heels. His long golden-washed brown hair was held back by a rope of precious gems and he wore a golden crown encrusted with diamonds and rubies. A brilliant dragon-scales cloak completed his outfit. His blue eyes were clear and there was a sense of duty shining from them. A look of determination was on his handsome face. It was his princely duty to find that terrible virgin-chomper and slay it. He had only killed baby dragons before. The babies had not been very hard to kill. They were often left in a dragon nest when their parents went out gallivanting for food. Nonetheless, they were nasty little buggers. The prince still had a scorch mark on his right shoulder where a baby drake had spit a flame at him. He had heard from the bad news criers that a dragon had been chewing up the local virgins of the town of Fairdamesong. There was a forest, the Drakeindark, near the town. The dragon had appeared, carried off a few woodsmen. That just would not do and so some of the local virgins had been left for dragon-bait. A new songsheet had appeared in the streets of the prince's city, Carnifashin: "Woodsmen, go feed a dragon on thyself in place of my virgin daughter." It was selling briskly and could be heard at the latest masquerade balls --- which is where the prince had heard it sung. Prince Insufferablyn knew that it was his princely duty to go rescue the virgins ( as well as save a few from such a dire fate as dragon bait by helpng them be divested of their virginity ). Prince Insufferablyn and his humblle knight did their princely and squirely duty by devirginizing several willing lasses. They then turned their sights towards the dark and tangly forest wherein the beastly beast of darkness, that nefarious and infernal creature, lurked. The Prince and his humble knight would have preferred staying in Fairdamesong but they needed to find the dragon and rid the countryside of it. Besides, they had finished their princely and knightly duties and had devirginized every virgin in the town. And.. according to rumor, there was a beautiful fair princess, a beauiful virgin princess who was reported to be chained to a rock near the dragon's cave. Since the dragon only ate about twice a year Prince Insufferablyn figured he could rescue the princess and slay the dragon. The dragon was reported to be sleeping until meal time. The prince's strategy was to devirginize the princess ( thereby making her less of a temptation to the dragon ) and then slaying the dragon while it slept. Things don't, however, always go the way princes plan them.

Sniff. Sniff. SNIFF!!!!!!! "YES!!!!!!!!" The dragon was thrilled beyond imagining. She was soooooo happy. "That is PRINCE I smell on the breeze!" As Prince Insufferablyn and Sir Huck got closer to her lair, the dragon opened her huge mouth and grinned with her ferociously wicked teeth. "YUMYUMYUM!!!! I smell PRINCE! Oh I am sooooooo delighted! GOODYGOODYGOODEEEEEEEE!!!!! Barbequed Prince Deeeeeelight with a Nice Humble Knight On The Side!" The dragon groomed and preened. It had been so many years since she had tasted prince. And lately it had been a bit more of a famine than a feast. Nothing but those coarse, tough woodcutters and those scrawny weepy virgins. BAH. But then a dragon must eat..... but a prince!!!! OH HAPPY HAPPY DAY!!!!! YUMYUMYUMYUMYUM!!!!!!!!!!! Soon the prince and his humble and their horses would appear in the clearing near the dragon cave. Time to set the bait out by the rock... that princess who had so kindly gotten lost just last week... In the corner of the dragon cave stood a fair princess with long raven hair that swept the ground. Her silvery-gray eyes ( that now filled with silvery gray tears ) looked up at the dragon. The dragon spoke to her mind "Time to earn your keep my pretty..." The dragon reached into the princess' mind and DID something. For a split second the princess saw what the dragon had in mind and she screamed a loud piercing scream. And then she passed out on the floor of the cave. Prince Insufferablyn and his humble knight Huck entered the clearing to a beautiful and yet pitiful sight --that of a heartachingly and codpiece-breaking breathtakingly beautiful and very naked princess who was chained to a rock. Prince Insufferablyn looked at the princess and began to unlace his codpiece. However, before he could even halfway unlace himself to do his princely duty there was a furious roar that shook the nearby ground. And from the cave appeared a HUGE dragon who appeared a bit angry at the thought of a prince and a knight making off with its dainty meal. The humble knight ran at the dragon with his lance while the prince rode his perfectly groomed white horse up to the side of a dragon and then pierced the dragon's armor-like hide with his broadsword. Prince Insufferablyn was surprised at the ease in which the broadsword went into the dragonshide. He had always heard that the only way to safely kill a dragon was to wound it the best one could and then to pierce it in its head, the eye or the neck. But the dragon expired after the prince sank his broadsword into the dragon's side. The prince then went and cut out the dragon's long forked tongue and put it into the jeweled bag that he kept hidden in his codpiece. And then the dragon began to change.... The prince heard his humble knight yell and he heard the snapping of chains.... As Prince Insufferablyn looked on with horror, the dragon began to change into a beautiful naked woman with long black hair that only partially covered her body ( a body that the prince realized, with much regret, that he would never be able to do his princely duty upon ). At her side was sticking the prince's broadsword. Her mouth was oozing blood. The prince did not need to be told that she no longer had a tongue. Prince Insufferablyn did not know that his humble knight was setting new long distant records for running. When Huck had seen the princess in chains turn into a dragon and then snap the chains that held her to a rock, he had yelled a waring to the prince and then he had taken off running. Scratches from forest growth, branches and briars were only a minor nuisance next to being gobbled by a dragon. And it would have been suicide to try and attack an illusion-casting dragon with no weapons. His lance and the prince's broadsword were now in the body of the princess they had thought they were saving. But all they were saving was a dragon hungry for a royal meal... Prince Insufferablyn was not considering the fact that his humble knight might not be preforming his humble knight duties by sticking around to try and rescue his master. He only had a second to turn around at the roar of a dragon who then bit his head off ( the dragon spit out the crown, not having a taste for heavy metal ). The prince was then hoisted onto a long stick by the dragon. The dragon then barbecued him to a nice crisp brown, spitting flames out at her leisure. And she wasn't too disappointed that she wouldn't have that nice cowardly knight as a side dish. After all, she had that lovely princess for dessert.

The Unicorn's Horn "Why don't you just leave the body? You don't need to bury the dumb thing." Jerik's handsome face scowled. He couldn't understand why Dariellera would bother with burying the unicorn. She hadn't been invited along with Yassindra and him anyway. His seduction of Dariellera last spring had made her only worthless baggage on a unicorn's hunt. Once he had heard that the King was offering one hundred gold pieces for a unicorn's horn he had refraimed from seducing Yassindra. Everyone knew about unicorns and virgins... It had been remarkably easy. A unicorn had been spotted in the Deep Forest in back of the Tangled Turnip Inn. Jerik and Yassindra had walked into the forest about half a league. Then Yassindra had sat down in a clearing and started to sing, sad to say, in an atrociously bad voice. The unicorn came out of its hiding place as tame as a pet ferret. It came to where Yassindra was sitting and gently laid its head in her lap. Jerik had grabbed the unicorn by the scruff of its neck and then clumsily hacked the horn off of the poor beast. It had looked at Jerik out of startled and pain-filled sky blue eyes that had then glazed over with the vision of its own death. Jerik had not been blinded by its beauty, the white silken coat, the golden mane and tail. All he saw was the gleam of the gold pieces that would help him purchase a manor so he could lead a life of leisure. Yassindra had scrambled up from the scene of slaughter, voicing her displeasure of having her only gown bloodied. It was a dun-colored scratchy piece of wool that her father, a woodcutter, had given her "I'll buy you a new gown for your part in this." Jerik had yelled at her. He had cut off the unicorn's horn and had put it in a sack that he tossed over his shoulder. And then Dariellera had stepped into the clearing. She had wanted to bury the unicorn. Dumb chit. Dariellera looked up at Jerik with difiance and disdain. "I will do whatever I want with the remains of this beautiful creature whom you have destroyed with your greed." She turned to the body of the unicorn and did not look at Jerik and Yassindra as they walked out of the glade with their ill-gotten booty.

Tears fell from her golden-brown eyes onto the bloody stump that remained of the unicorn's horn. One sky blue eye opened. "Are they gone yet?" The unicorn asked her. Dariellera, astonished, fell over backwards. "You aren't dead?" She stammered. The unicorn shook its head and started to clumsily stumble to its feet. "We aren't that easy to kill." It explained. The area around its horn had started to heal and in the center of its forehead was a tiny horn... It gracefully sat down and invited Dariellera onto its back. She got onto its back, her arms around its neck, and through the forest together, unicorn and woman, they rode as though they flew on the wind.

Jerik and Yassindra walked into the City of the King. The marble avenues leading to the glorious crystal-spiraled golden and silver palace were wide and well-swept of any debris. The people who wandered through the avenues were pleasant to look on and richly dressed. Jerik turned to Yassindra, who was cringing as she compared her homespun gown, that was filthy with forest-dirt and unicorn blood, to their fine apparel. Leaves and twigs were tangled in her long warm brown and curly hair. In spite of her disarray, she had youth and beauty to distract from her otherwise slovenly appearance. "I promise you I will get you a gown as fine as any of the ladies here in Kingstown." Jerik told her. She said nothing, meekly following him to the palace. King Fluffindork was a handsome older man with graying black hair and a neatly trimmed beard.A huge crown of jewels was on his head. He was clothed in samite and brocade of gold. Carelessly thrown about his shoulders was a luxurious ermine robe. Standing beside him was Prince Dorkcloddin, his oldest son and heir, a younger replica of himself. Jerik took the unicorn's horn out of the sack and handed it towards the King. The King's shiny black eyes gleamed with an unholy glee when he saw the unicorn's horn. There was a sudden commotion behind them. Everyone in the throne room turned around to see a unicorn and a beautiful young woman. The unicorn was pearlescent white with a golden mane and tail. His eyes were a bright sky blue. And his horn was long and diamond-encrusted. Beside the unicorn stood Dariellera, the innkeeper's daughter. Her long straight hair, the color of burgundy wine fell to her knees and was a startling contrast to her silvery gossamer gown. "Where'd she get THAT?" Yassindra hissed. A unicorn had led Dariellera to a faeries' dell...... Dariellera came to a stop in front of the King and his son. "You wanted a unicorn's horn." She spat out the words at the King. Her golden-brown eyes were proud and full of icy rage as she looked at him. "I bring you a unicorn's horn." she said. "But MY unicorn horn is attached to the unicorn." The unicorn sat down for Dariellera to get on his back. Before they rode out of the palace, down the marbled avenues and returned to the forest behind her father's inn, she added one last statement. "You keep your gold.It's tainted with cruelty."

After they had made their dramatic exit, the King turned back to Jerik and Yassindra. King Fluffindork threw a silk purse to Jerik, who expertly caught it. Two golden coins fell out of the purse and Yassindra grabbed them and put them into the low-laced bodice of her homespun gown. Prince Dorkcloddin looked at Yassindra. He knew that virgins were the enticement for unicorns and she was certainly ripe... She leered back. The King looked at Yassindra and then at his son and nodded to the boy. The Prince walked over to Yassindra and whispered in her ear. She threw back her warm brown hair and laughed. She followed the prince out of the throne room She wouldn't be hunting unicorns come the morrow. The King reached for the unicorn's horn that was still in Jerik's hand. Jerik handed it to the King. The moment the King took the unicorn's horn, while Jerik was still touching it. it disintegrated to dust and fell from their grasping hands onto the marble floor of the throne room... where it made a loud CRACK! in the marble. Alarmed, Jerik let loose of the silk purse full of coins. It fell into the crack and disappeared. "SEIZE HIM!" shouted the King. In an otherworldly and hauntingly breathtaking faeries dell, Dariellera petted the beautiful unicorn. "All Yassindra had to do was ASK me and I would have been glad to have given her a horn." the unicorn said to her. He shook his head. "They didn't have to try to butcher me. There was no reason for that." Another unicorn came up to the innkeeper's daughter. It shook its face and a beautiful golden horn fell off of the middle of its forehead. Dariellera picked it up and handed it to one of the faeries' who now attended her. The faery went to fill it full of cowslip wine. "We shed our horns every few years. That is why, when we are "killed" for our horns, we don't die. We just disappear into the forest where we vanish from the eyes of men. But if our horns are taken from us before we shed them then they are more perishable." And as far as perishing goes... In a deep dank dungeon, beneath a glittering palace, a callous young man was learning a bitter lesson about the folly of greed.