Eulogy by Claudia Heiden 8/7/03
Growing Up
Alice (Mom) was born on January 8, 1922 in Bremerton, WA. Her Dad worked in the Bremerton Shipyards. Mom was always proud of the fact that she shared the same birthday as Elvis Presley. Later on, she grew up in Seattle, mostly in the Queen Anne and Capital Hill areas. There were six siblings: Clifford, Dorothy (Dottie), Alice (Mom), Juanita (Nita), Lois, and David. All are now deceased, except Aunt Nita and Uncle David. When they were growing up, it was during the depression years, so making a living was hard to come by. Therefore, Mom lived a large part of her youth with her Irish Grandmother Bessie Stanage-Hazleton on Capital Hill. Mom did chores for her Grandmother. As soon as she got home from school, she would clean the house, scrub the floors and go to the store for her Grandmother. In return, her Grandma taught her to cook and provided her with a nice home to live in. Mom loved her Grandmother and was very close to her. She was like a second mother to her. Her Uncle Charles (her Grandma's son) played lots of practical jokes on Mom. Mom was easy to tease and deathly afraid of "spiders". He would hide behind a door as she came upstairs and out would come a pretend spider on a string. Mom had a good set of lungs and I'm sure the neighbors heard her "scream"! Sometimes Charles even put real spiders in her bed at night and Mom would find them when she pulled the covers down to get ready for bed. But she adored her Uncle Charles! Mom loved to sing and as she did her chores she was always singing or if she was outside, she would sing to the chickens. She thought of them as her audience. She did not have singing lessons, but rather was a self-taught soprano. She sang solos at church and also sang a solo at her Sr. Prom. She was also "boy crazy" and usually liked at least a couple of boys at a time. It was on Capital Hill that she met her lifetime friend, Ruth Casey.
Graduation to Marriage Years and Children
Mom graduated from Queen Anne High School. After graduation, Mom moved into an apartment with her sister Dottie. Although they were very close sisters, they were total opposites. Dottie was the "clean" one and Mom was the "messy" one. Dot and Mom went to lots of dances together and it was at a Luthern Church Dance that she met Dad (Art). Dad was crazy about her and he was very attentive. Mom always kept a diary, and in her diary she would write: "Art called 4 times today". "Art called to ask me out for a foursome tomorrow night", etc. They went on a lot of fun dates, alone or with other couples. They were married in Medford, OR, on October 5, 1942. They had a military wedding as Dad was a Corporal in the Army. Mom's first child, a daughter, Lorene, was born in Medford, OR on March 6, 1944. They lived in Medford for a couple of years, then Dad was transferred to Arizona and California. When Dad went overseas during WWII, Mom moved back to Seattle with Lorene. Lorene was an only child for 8 years, then Marta was born April 30, 1952. I was born 2-1/2 years later on November 25, 1954. We lived in the old house that Dad's Dad built. Dad was a meat cutter and Mom a homemaker. Dinner was always at 6:30 pm after Dad got off work. Dad loved fish and Mom hated it – so once a week Dad would cook a fish dinner anyway. He also made the weekend breakfasts. She loved to garden and cook. We had a lot of fruit trees in the yard. When I was a few months old, there was a new brick house being built next year. Mom would do dishes and look out the window as the house was being built. Mom fell in love with that brick house and convinced Dad to buy it. When I was 8 months old, we moved into the brick house. We lived near the beach and after dinner Dad took us swimming. Mom and Dad were very involved at All Saints Episcopal Church. Mom was in the choir and Dad was an usher and he was on the building committee. Mom cooked food for church events. We went to Sunday school every Sunday. She dressed Marta and I in matching dresses for Easter.
Family Outings
Almost every Sunday, we would drive to Puyallup to visit Dad's Uncle & our second cousins at their Mink Farm in Puyallup. We'd go swimming in their pool and have Sunday Dinner. That drive to Puyallup from Rainier Valley seemed like a long drive back then. I remember hanging onto to the ropes in the backseat and standing up in the car as we drove. Kids didn't wear seat belts back then. On the way home, Mom would nag Dad about stopping to get us an ice cream cone. Dad hated to spend money, but sometimes Mom could convince him. Whenever we took a vacation, like a drive down the Oregon/California coast, we always had to stay in the cheapest hotels – the hotels with no pools. Dad was the only one that didn't want to spend the extra money on a hotel with a pool Mom was just as disappointed as us kids. But somehow we made do with it all. These were Mom's happiest times, raising her family in the early years.
Family Life and The Beginning of the Hard Times
James was born December 27th when I was 5 years old. Mom was so excited to finally have a boy! I remember the special Xmas card poem she wrote the following year, since James' birthday was so close to Xmas.
(READ POEM)
Two days after Christmas,
Our brother Jim will be, One year old and yet-It's his second Christmas tree! His eyes are big and blue,His hair a brownish yellow, A dimple in each cheek You'll find We think he's quite a fellow! If our brother Jim could talk, We know he'd like to say,"Have A Merry Christmas And A New Year Bright and Gay!"We three Heiden girls, And Mom and Daddy too, "Wish you a "Merry Christmas, May God bring joy to you!" )
Mom was very good at writing poetry, but she didn't have much time for it, because she was busy raising her family. When James was 2-1/2 we moved to California, where Dad went into business with our Uncle. This was the beginning of the hard times for Mom, as Dad and Mom ended up separating and Mom moved back to Seattle without Dad with all of her four children. Mom had to go to work to support her family. She had no skills – so she worked as a maid for some nice hotels downtown (one-Kennedy Hotel). Lorene got married when I was in 5th grade (1964). Shortly thereafter, Mom and Lorene were pregnant at the same time: Lorene with her first child and Mom with her last child, Julie Ann. Mom raised kids over 20 years….her first child (Lorene) was born in 1944 when Mom was 22 years old and her last child (Julie) was born in 1965 when Mom was 43.
Mom's Job and Interests
Mom later got a job at the Salvation Army. She was the person who sorted all the clothes that were donated. She was allowed to set aside items to take home daily. As she was sorting the clothes, she would say "I wonder if Julie would like this – or this looks just like Claudia". Some of the items still had the price tags on it. I remember being one of the best dressed in high school, but no one knew where my fancy clothes came from. Mom sacrificed a lot for her children to make sure we had clothes and food on the table. She worked hard. Yet she found time to play cards with the neighbor ladies. It was her favorite entertainment. She loved pinnacle and taught me how to play the game. When they didn't have a 4th person, I would sometimes fill in as one of the partners.
The Empty Nest
Slowly but surely all of us kids left the house. Lorene was first when she was married in 1964. Then Marta moved to California when she was 16 to live with our Aunt Lois. I left in 1974 to go to college. That left James and Julie, the 2 youngest kids. Dad passed away at age 53 from a sudden heart attack. Although my parents were divorced, they were on friendly terms and my Dad often came for Sunday dinners. Mom always made a nice Sunday Dinner.
Early Senior Years
In Mom's Senior years, she often took trips to see Marta and relatives in California. She hated to fly – so took the train. She loved visiting, but hated the hot weather. She was always glad to return to Seattle. She loved Seattle. She also visited her friend Helen in Iowa. I took Mom on a weekend trip to Medford, OR to visit where she lived with Dad when they first got married. Mom loved that trip. She enjoyed reminiscing on her early married life. Mom loved visiting and liked lots of company. She was a wonderful conversationalist.
Later Senior Years
In her later senior years, Mom and I became very close after I had my daughter, Rachel. We enjoyed doing the family outings together. We went out to dinner, movies, to the beach, on picnics, to the tulip festival, open houses, and spent most holidays together. She babysat Rachel for me whenever I asked. In return, I took her a lot of fun places. She became very close to Rachel. Mom loved to read books. Her favorites were autobiographies or true crime. And anytime she could, she played bingo! She talked to Aunt Dottie on the phone almost every day. They liked the same t.v. programs and loved to discuss them. Mom was a night owl and often stayed up late listening to talk shows.
Health Issues and Later Senior Life
As she aged, her health began to deteriorate. She had the following in her later years: arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure, conjestive heart failure, and kidney failure. As she worsened, we continuously moved her from living alone, to a retirement home, then to assisted living, and eventually to a nursing home, where she spent the last 2 years of her life. She adjusted well to living in the nursing home, because she became friends with the nurses. The nurses loved Mom and she had her favorites. One of them became like one of her own daughters. Mom had her full mind until her death and you could talk to her about anything. She loved discussing current events, sports, family and her past memories. She was so much fun to visit, because she was always so happy to see you. Whenever you walked in the room, she had something nice to say…like for me "your skin is so nice" and "Rachel, you are getting so tall, every time I see you". She was easy to buy things for, as she appreciated anything you bought her or did for her. Even though she was in a wheelchair and she couldn't do anything without help, she still insisted on putting on her makeup the moment she woke up. She had those nurses trained. They would wake her up and next hand her makeup bag to her. She carried that makeup bag everywhere she went, just in case she needed to freshen her lipstick. And she enjoyed getting her hair done. The only thing she disliked about the nursing home was the food. So, she loved it when you brought her lunch or a snack. She also missed cooking (which I totally don't understand). She did 100 piece puzzles almost all day long…you could not buy her enough of them. You could buy her a dozen puzzles and then next visit she would have done all of them and be asking for more. Sometimes she did them over and over. Almost every time I went to visit her, she was at her card table doing a puzzle. I think this is why her mind was so good, because she was constantly using it. She seemed to be full of life and yet she had a lot of ailments. She looked so good in her last years.
It's the Simple Things in Life
Mom liked the simple things in life and she was easy to please. She loved bingo, puzzles, animals – alive or on t.v. like the animal show, cartoons (they fascinated her, especially "Tella Tubbies"), Jean Nate perfume, and visiting. She was very unselfish and if she could she would do anything for you. That made you want to do all the more for her. Her biggest accomplishments were her children and she loved us all in her own unique way:
Her Children
Lorene – because was the eldest and shared some early special times with Mom none of us could because she was an only child for 8 years Marta – because she was the fun one, the one that always made it easy for you to laugh and be happy around Myself – because I was the middle child and took care of her emotional and financial needs since I always lived close enough to her James – because he was the boy and very special to her Julie – because she was the youngest and did so many things for Mom
Her biggest hope was that each of her children would always get along together.
Summary
Mom I am so glad that I had these last few years with you to appreciate your personality, your kind spirit, and your wonderful feisty self. I know you are in Gods hands and that you will live forever in his Kingdom. I love you Mom!
Closing
Read "Prayer of Faith" in funeral bulletin. This was Mom's favorite prayer. She had it memorized and would say it anytime she was anxious, afraid or needed strength. She told me she said it when she was in labor with each one of her children.Let us all read it together.
|
Mom's last Christmas 2002 @80 years old
Age 81, went to be with her Lord August 4, 2003. She was born January 8, 1922 in Bremerton, Washington. She spent almost all of her life in the Seattle area and was a homemaker most of her adult years.
Alice at 8th grade graduation
Late 1950's
Sung at Funeral by Soloist Rachel Heiden 
From left to right
from left to right my best friend of 33 years Madeline,Alice (my Mom) and myself (Julie) on my 21st birthday 1986 having a beer with my best friends