My advice to anyone who is being Bullied
There are many things that someone can do if they are being Bullied, but keep in mind that my advice is for general conditions, and that each and every situation is different. What may work for one person, may be of no use for someone else. With that in mind, here's my best advice.
• Most important, find someone you trust to tell what is happening to you. A parent, grand parent, aunt, uncle, teacher, principal, neighbor... anyone that you think could help you with your problem. If the bullying is happening at school, then it is the school's responsibility to protect you, and to provide you with a safe, non-threatening place in which to receive your education. That's a federal law here in the United States, and many other places too! You may want to talk to your teacher when no one else is around, so no one will know you said anything. If your teacher doesn't do anything, or if the bullying doesn't stop, then go higher up in the school. Talk to a counsellor, or even the principal if you have to. If you don't have a problem talking to your parents, they should be your first choice to turn to for finding help. After all, that is their number one job as a parent, to protect you and provide for you. Another good reason for telling someone about being Bullied is that it creates a record of the Bullying, so if something should happen later, you will have proof that you actually tried to solve the problem earlier.
• Do the best you can to avoid your Bullies. There are many cases where this isn't possible, but if you can, try to stay away from someone that you know will probably bully you. Staying away from the back of the bus, or not walking the same way home that takes you by the Bully's house are examples of avoidance. This is NOT a solution to your problem, but only a temporary way of helping to keep you safe until the Bullying problem is resolved. Once again, Telling Someone is the first and best way to make it stop.
• Try to always be with someone else when you aren't in a safe zone. Walk with friends as much as possible, and the more people the better. Being caught alone is often the main time when Bullies will try to pick on you. Plan your routes and activities to be with friends, or ask your friends to help you by staying together as often as possible. Again, this won't stop the Bullying usually, but it can help to keep you safe in the mean time.
• If possible, try to have an adult keep a look-out on you in or during the places and times that the Bullying usually occurs. If an adult is the one who catches and reports the act of Bullying, then there will be less pressure on you for telling off on someone. The Bully can't really blame you for what some adult saw, and then did something about on their own. Teachers and hallways are a great place for this idea to work.
• Keep a record of the Bullying occurrences. This can come in very handy when it becomes time to prove to an adult that your problem is not just a one time thing. If you have the dates, times, names, places, and the nature of the Bullying, it will be hard for anyone to down-play the situation your asking help for. I tried this myself, and it really does come in helpful. You might want to keep your official log-book at home, and just jot down the daily info on scrap notebook paper until you can transfer the information over at night. That way, you don't have to worry about loosing your records, or even worse, to have your log-book stolen by the Bully.
• VERY IMPORTANT - If the Bullying against you is of extreme threats or acts of violence against you or someone else - (((Call_The_Police_Now))) Don't wait for you or someone else to be seriously injured before you get up the courage to say something about it. If the person Bullying you is known to be extremely violent, or if they threaten you with a gun, knife or club, or if they say they are going to kill you, or do some serious harm to you.... GO TELL SOMEONE RIGHT NOW.
At this point, the number one thing that can prevent you from being seriously injured is the fear the Bully will have about being caught committing a violent crime. The fact that they have already threatened you with violence is a criminal act in itself, but knowing that other adults also know about those threats towards you will make most Bullies think twice about actually committing them.
• Unless you have absolutely no choice other than self-defense, DON'T use violence to solve a case of Bullying against you or someone else. Many people have heard the old advice for dealing with Bullies of just punch them once in the nose really hard and they won't ever bug you again. In almost all cases, that plan doesn't work as well as some would lead you to believe. Chances are, the bully is older, bigger and stronger, and a fight would only be in their advantage. Most of the time, it only makes the Bullying issues that much stronger. Some reasons why... the Bully has a reputation at stake... it is more likely these days that weapons can be brought into play... your role as a victim suddenly changes to that of a participator in a fight... your attack may be just the thing the Bully was waiting for to justify his beating up on you even worse... and the list goes on. There are dozens of reasons why you don't want to try to "out-fight" your Bully to solve your problem. The strongest reason against it is because once you have become an active participant in the violence, it is much less likely that the school or law enforcement will support you in defence against the Bully. Instead of a Bully and a victim, the problems can be more easily dealt with as TWO juvenile delinquents in a fight, which only makes you a victim of the systems that should be helping you, in addition to the original Bully.
• Sometimes you can use mind games to help you when ever you do happen to be confronted by a Bully. Some kids have had some luck by not allowing the Bully to have the controlling hand. Using short, non-confrontational words or phrases can often frustrate a Bully into just giving up. You might try replying to his verbal attacks with, "Huh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you," or "Okay, whatever you say," or "That's funny," or something else like that, and just keep using it over and over. What ever you do, don't get into a verbal battle with a Bully, it only feeds their anger and risks moving things from verbal to physical attacks. Keeping your cool to the best of your ability can also take the fun out of the Bully's efforts. If you can, you might try acting as unaffected as possible, and simply turn and walk away, preferably towards more adults or friends. But what ever you try, just use your better judgement as to how to best deal with a Bully's confrontation, get away to safety as quickly as possible, and then log down and notify someone of the occurrence.
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