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THE LAST HERO

(Nov 14, 2002)

From July 1929, where it was serialized in the English pulp THRILLER as "The Creeping Death", then expanded in hardcover as THE LAST HERO and then reprinted again as THE SAINT CLOSES THE CASE (whew! too much research), this is one of the very best Saint adventures and one which should be read by every Saint fan. For that matter, anyone who enjoys fast moving, wild adventure stories should give it a shot.

In some ways, Leslie Charteris got the Saint off to a false start with MEET THE TIGER. There, Simon Templar was openly known to everyone under the nickname "Saint", there was no terrorizing of the underworld or leaving that little stick figure drawing, and in fact he basically seemed to be a fairly respectable investigator for hire, working to retrieve stolen money. With THE LAST HERO, Charteris seems to reboot the concept and we find that for the past few months England has been in an uproar over the vigilante doings of a mysterious character known only as "the Saint". With a small gang of adventurous sidekicks and the lovely Patricia Holm, the Saint is following the trail blazed by Edgar Wallace's Four Just Men and by Bulldog Drummond*, but with a significant difference in that Simon has a sharp feel for right and wrong, and confines his attacks against actual criminals who genuinely deserve it.

Even so, Charteris doesn't appear to have really thought he was going a launch a decades-long series about one character, and THE LAST HERO has the feel of having been intended to be Simon Templar's greatest adventure, after which the author would move on to different protagonists.

This story has one of the rare mentions regarding Simon's adventurous past. On the walls of his apartment are "a number of curious weapons, relics of the Saint's young lifetime of wandering in queer corners of the globe. There were Spanish knives, and a matador's sword; muskets and old fashioned pistols; South Sea Island spears, Malay krises and krambits and parangs; a scimitar, a boomerang from New Zealand, an Iroquis bow, an assegai, a bamboo blow pipe from Papua; and other things of the same kind." Our boy has been busy.

We also get a tantalizing reference to the throwing knife Anna which Simon wears. "There was a story to Anna, a savage and flamboyant story of the godless lands, which may be told one day; she had taken many lives." We also learn that she had been "earned with blood and christened with blood" so possibly Simon had taken the blade from her previous owner.

THE LAST HERO's story is driven by a Mad Science invention called the electron cloud... basically a dense cloud of gas which has been pumped full of a tremendous charge of electricity, so that it can be driven forward and sizzle anything it touches into charcoal. International troublemaker Rayt Marius (the Saint's greatest archenemy) is determined to capture the scientist and the invention so that his country can conquer Europe. For his part the Saint has decided that not only should no other nation have this weapon but that it should be destroyed completely, so that not even England would be tempted to use it. And in a surprisingly ruthless decision, Simon is resolved to kidnap the deranged inventor and kill him in cold blood if he won't give up his work. (He's not exactly kidding, either, and this isn't one of those convenient situations where they wrestle over the gun and the bad guy luckily sucks up the bullet.)

Leslie Charteris is at his most distinctive here, writing with a love of language and imagery that sparkles but is still perfectly clear and lucid. The story roars along full blast, with two or three plot twists that absolutely took me by surprise. The final showdown between the Saint's gang and Marius' thugs, with a British secret service agent caught in the middle and the police on their way, is a complicated and fascinating piece of strategy as they all try to outwit each other at gunpoint. One area where Charteris excelled was showing the extremely quick thinking of his hero in split second decisions.

And if you had only known the Saint from the rather bland Roger Moore TV series or from the later books where he had semi-retired to become a mellow solver of mysteries, you'd be in for a jolt as a berserk Simon Templar charges into a house he knows has eight armed men waiting for him, because they have dared to take Patricia Holm prisoner ("...the first man he met with his bare hands was catapulted back against the wall by a straight left that packed all the fiendish power of a sledgehammer gone mad, a blow that shattered teeth in their sockets and smithereened a jawbone as if it had been made of glass.") The Saint is just as happy to peacefully trick a swindler out of his swag so it can be donated to charity, but he's not a helpless little Hercule Poirot either.

This book has the whole gang at their best. Patricia Holm ("a law unto herself") is just as much fond of adrenalin as the boys (she had given Simon "two white hairs for every day he had known her") but at the same time, we see here the love between Simon and herself most openly expressed as the end seems at hand. Even Inspector Teal, too often just a foil for the Saint's wisecracks, makes a respectable showing and at least once has a dramatic entrance at just the right moment when it seems no hope is left.

To be honest, I find all the Saint`s sidekicks to be pretty much indistinguishable but here at least one of them shows a genuine higher courage that involves making the final sacrifice, giving the story an unexpectedly moving finale.("...and how, one quiet summer evening, in a house by the Thames, with no melodrama and no heroics, he fought and died for an idea")
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*There is a relatively mild anti-Semitic aside here when Simon remarks that "the secret moguls" of the world financial networks have names ending in "-heim and -stein", but that's all I see in this book.

"The Policeman With Wings" (Oct 11, 2003) From an August 1929 issue of THE THRILLER (where it appeared in slightly different form as "The House On the Moors"), this is one of the very earliest appearances of our own Simon Templar. It's a breezy, charming little romp through kidnapping and torture and murder, making all these things seem like jolly fun. After spending too much time listening to the BBC World Report on NPR or gloomily studying my checkbook, an hour with a 1930s Leslie Charteris story is a great reviver. First, let us note that we get a definitive statement here as to the Saint's age. This story is set in August 1929, and Simon is nearly twenty-eight. He was born shortly after August 1901, then. We still don't know where he was born or what his family was like or where he grew up, but you can't have everything.  The "Policeman With Wings" of the title is a reference to an old old ruse for kidnapping someone, dressing up one of your goons in a cop uniform. An elderly gentleman has been spirited away in just this fashion, and his nubile young heartbreaker of a niece is likely to be next, when the resless Saint decides to intervene. With the help of his crony Roger Conway, he shortly is up to his impeccable hairline in trouble himself. Before you know it, Simon, Roger and their new gal are tied securely in a cellar where an eight minute fuse is burning down to fire enough dynamite to help them visit the certified Saints. Not to worry, our boy is wiggling his fingers to grasp that trusty throwing knife Anna alwaysup his sleeve, but (oh, no!) he can't reach it. This early in the series, the Saint's playful banter is perhaps a bit too Woodehousian ("Honk! Honk!" he responds to Roger's "Cheer-ho!") but I still find Charteris' enthusiasm and love of language to be irresistable. And it is still funny in a droll way' as Simon has been driving like a werewolf on uppers in pursuit of the abducted damsel, giving Roger a few grey hairs. When he remarks he's tired of thinking so hard, Roger hopefully volunteers to take the wheel so the Saint can give his brain a rest. "I don't think when I'm driving," Simon blithely replies.       If you want a moment that captures the essence of the Saint, here's one. Chasing the kidnappers at fifty miles an hour, Simon nimbly hops off his car's running board, seizes the other auto's steering wheel, bludgeons the thug with a pair of quick punches and safely brings the car to a halt by twisting the wheel and yanking the handbrake. But even while doing this, he signals the turn.       There is also one of those strange haunting premonitions we sometimes see in the earliest stories, the hint that Simon Templar is heading for some noble doom. ("He was then only upon the threshhold of his destiny...") All this seems queer today because we know our boy went on to have one swashbuckling after another for decades, but I can't help thinking Leslie Charteris was planning a final Saint story back then in which his hero would sacrifice himself to save the world... maybe at the end of THE LAST HERO, it was supposed to be the Saint who quietly went to his death.      Roger Conway is described as Simon`s closest friend, with a tighter bond between them than with the other members of their little vigilante society. I have always been a bit fuzzy on the personalities and specialties of the different Haloes, but it makes complete sense that the Saint would have a circle of loyal buddies. He is one of the few pulp heroes that convincingly is shown to actually like people and enjoy having company. Anyway, "The Policeman With Wings" also has a vile mastermind named Spider Sleat (a handle worthy of a Spirit or Dick Tracy villain). Spider has a shuffling limp, abnormally long arms attached to a powerfuldwarflike body, and "in a small wrinkled face, incredibly faded blue eyes blinked under shaggy eyebrows." He doesn't make a good first impression. Spider not only kidnaps and tortures people, but is thoughtless enough to kiss a lovely captive right on the mouth in front of her would-be rescuers. Hah! He doesn't realize that the Saint`s crew haven't taken the idealistic superhero oath against killing.  This story has the long-suffering Inspector Teal, already suspecting that Simon Templar knows a bit about this mysterious Saint. It has young love and a fortune in swag hidden somewhere beneath a house innocently built on a racketeer's cache. It rushes from page to page in breathless excitement. It's a 1929 exploit of the Saint by Leslie Charteris; life is good.

"The Lawless Lady" (Sep 29, 2002) From an August 1929 issue of THE THRILLER (where it appeared as "Crook's Cargo"), this is one of the earliest Saint stories (he still has both throwing knives) and it's a bit of an experiment. Nearly all of the story is carried by Dicky Tremayne, with Simon nowhere in sight. (Of course, possibly it was originally an independent story revised to include Simon Templar, so that it could be republished in book form; Charteris salvaged many of his early yarns this way.) Now, to be perfectly honest, I've never been able to visualize any of the Saint's little gang (other than Patricia, of course) or to distinguish them from one another. Roger Conway, Norman Kent, Monty Hayward... they all are pretty much interchangeable as far as I can see, with no vivid visual distinctions or character traits. They don't make enough regular or lengthy appearances to establish themselves. And of course, Simon is such an overwhelming presence that it would take a strong personality not to be overshadowed by him. Dicky fits right in with the crew of little Saintlets. He can think quickly and can use his fists (he knows a little jiu jitsu) but only about as well as the average detective hero, and he doesn't really seem to have any personality or opinions other than those needed to make him a follower of the Saint. Simon has had Dicky working undercover to infiltrate the bandit gang led by a female mastermind named Audrey Perowne. Not only is she a dazzling sight, but she's clever and she only robs those who can well afford a little loss or who are shady themselves... much like the Saint himself, although she doesn't donate ninety per cent to charity. Actually, Dicky hasn't done all that well in his mole activity, as not only is he suspected of working for the Saint, he's also fallen sincerely in love with the succulent crook. And although she's cool and professional on the surface, there are signs that Audrey gets estrogen surges around Dicky, herself. The gig is to rob a crew of wealthy but repulsive people who have been carefully lured onto a yacht crewed by thugs under Audrey's leadership. Dicky is caught by all the conflict between his feelings for her and his loyalty to the Saint and his desire to smash this ruthless gang. So he has his hands full, both stragically and emotionally. The story does drag a bit for much of its length, not enough to discourage the reader but enough to be grateful for the big finish, where Charteris' usual crisp energy and descriptive powers come back to life. Actually, the first chapter is the best part. In just a few pages, Charteris packs in all the twists and surprises and snappy dialogue that we've come to expect from the early stories. Irritated by the police surveillance of his house, Simon wears them out by rapid, lengthy strolls; he then outwits Teal neatly, flogging a villain who won't dare testify against the Saint, and pointing out to old Claude Eustace the method a smuggler has been using to carry stolen goods. (I love the touches such as the box carrying the tied up thug, which is labelled "FRAGILE - HANDLE CARELESSLY - ANY OLD SIDE UP") Patricia Holm makes a brief appearance, She remarks to Simon, after he asks what makes her so beautiful, "I'm still in love with you.. after a whole year. And you're still in love with me." And right after she says this, she drops out of sight again. I can't figure that girl out, but then that's part of her appeal. (I picture her as looking like a blonde Maureen O'Sullivan from that period.)

KNIGHT TEMPLAR (March 16, 2002) From a November 1929 issue of THE THRILLER where it appeared in slightly different form as "The Sudden Death", this eventually became known as THE AVENGING SAINT, and like most of the early Saint books, it's fast-paced pulp-style adventure. The stories became blander and gentler as the decades went by, until the Saint was mostly politely outwitting blackmailers and swindlers-- but when first introduced, Simon Templar was an unpredictable upper-class vigilante who was genuinely dangerous. This book is such a close sequel to the equally enjoyable THE LAST HERO (re-titled THE SAINT CLOSES THE CASE)) that they could be easily re-issued as a single volume. Here Templar faces one of his most impressive opponents, the international trouble-maker Rayt Marius. Determined to start World War II a decade early, Marius is as quick-thinking and devious as the Saint himself. The two have a prolonged tug-of-war of strategems and maneuvers that builds neatly to a very suspenseful finish. The final action scene (which pushes the usual unruffled Saint to his limits) would not be out of place in an Indiana Jones movie. Leslie Charteris wrote with enthusiasm and zest, obviously enjoying his craft. My one misgiving is that he consistently piled on excessive praise for his hero. There are paragraphs taking up most of a page detailing how snappy the Saint looked in his tuxedo or how very charming his smile was. ("For the Saint in a tight corner had ever been the most entrancing and delightful sight in all the world...") Honestly, it can be a bit embarassing, like reading a story by a teenage girl about a boy she has a crush on. But aside from that, Charteris has a gift for just the right descriptive detail or bit of dialogue. The Saint's flippant, slightly irritating banter is just a thin varnish over his real adventurer's personality. Re-reading the earliest books in the series is a bit startling. 1930 is long enough ago that it almost seems like another planet. Not only is every one constantly smoking cigarettes in public places and wearing evening dress, Templar casually instructs his partner how to fly a light plane-- while in the air, on route to a risky stunt. ("I'm sorry I haven't time to tell you all about spins, so if you get into one I'm afraid you'll just have to die.") The beloved Hirondel goes over a cliff, and Templar only has one knife on a sheath under his left sleeve, as he lost the matching one in the previous book. The Saint also utilizes one of his infrequent gadgets, a dazzling magnesium-loaded cigarette, several years before Doc Savage and decades before James Bond. (Speaking of Bond, there's an interesting bit of period slang as Templar describes checking out an area as giving it "a brisk double-O". Hmmm) People who complain that women in fiction have always been helpless, whiny victims have obviously never read adventure pulps. Think about Nellie Gray in The Avenger series (who left a trail of broken crooks in every story) and all the hard-hitting, tough-minded women in the Doc Savage books (including Pat Savage herself, but also Retta Ken in THE ROAR DEVIL and Midnat Davis in MYSTERY ON THE SNOW). In this book, the Saint's partner in mayhem, Patricia Holm, is conspicously absent, the ingenue in peril, Sonia Delmar is from the start completely at home dealing with international intrigue and violence. A supposedly pampered millionaire's daughter, she instantly grasps situations and acts on them in the same way the Saint does-- in fact, Roger Conway feels left out as the two of them plan their schemes more quickly than he can follow. And this is the ONLY time I have ever seen an English author describe an American accent as "soft and utterly fascinating." Sonia must have had real charm.

"The Logical Adventure" (April 17, 2003) From May 1930 where it appeared in THE THRILLER as "Without Warning" (and frankly, neither title is particularly descriptive or appropriate), this is a tale of the Saint that has nearly all the classic elements. It's set after the very earliest stories where he headed a gang of young swashbucklers and, by this time, his identity is publicly known. But he's still energetic and bold enough to make a cold blooded decision that a certain criminal needs execution and to carry it out with Inspector Teal right at his elbow. When he leaves the chalk outline of that little haloed stick figure, it's still enough at this point to give crooks cardiac arrest; yet he donates all but ten per cent of his loot to a worthy hospital. He's the unique swashbuckling paradox we've come to love. Now, like almost all Saint stories from the early years, this one is lively and inventive, with a clever phrase or plot twist in nearly every paragraph. Simon decides to tackle a vile ring which is luring naive young dancers and singers to Europe, where they will end up as degraded carnal toys, and the procurer is not above doping the girls' drinks to shanghai them (or to munich them, in this case I suppose). The Saint is in good form here. He's working on a physical level where he can easily humiliate a huge bouncer with one uppercut or shoot it out with armed thugs, and at the same time be cunning enough to carry out elaborate scams he makes up on the spot. So we can assume the plot and writing is up to usual excellence of 1930 Charteris and go on to note some specific items of interest. For one thing, there is a tantalizing passage at the beginning of the story, where Charteris is musing on how he personally likes best the tales of the Saint after his gang had been dispersed and his identity disclosed. Yet even the stories we have enjoyed all these years are not the most important part of our hero`s life. ("His ultimate destiny still lay ahead; he knew that it still lay ahead, but he did not then know what it was.'The Last Hero' he was called once; but the story of his last heroism is not to be told yet, and the manner of it he never foresaw even in his dreams.") What the heck is this bit all about? It has haunted me since I first read this story as a fourteen year old, was puzzled and excited by it, and it still stirs my curiosity. It sure sounds as if Charteris was planning to have Simon die in some grand gesture, possibly saving civilization or some innocent soul at the cost of his own life. And therefore these early Saint stories were intended to have taken place in the then recent past, since Charteris already knew the outcome of his hero's saga. But forty years later, our boy was still sunning himself on the beach in the south of France and solving the passing murder or two. So it remains a puzzle. Then there is the startling portrayal of the villainous pimpmeister Jacob Einsmann who is a "short, florid-looking man, with an underhung nose and a superfluity of diamond rings" on "excessively manicured fingers". Einsman speaks in a phonetic dialogue that stands out awkwardly against Charteris` usual smooth style ("I can any number for noddings get, aind't it, no?") Yet when Simon meets this wretch with the intention of doing some bullet surgery, he refers to Einsmann as "the Boche", rather than the Jew or the Yid. We have to keep stressing while reading these stories today how very common and unremarkable ethnic stereotypes were in pulp fiction. And of course, today, we're not really any more enlightened, we've just set up a new crop of stereotypes to work with; when was the last movie you saw that had a physically fit, conscientous Southern sheriff in it?