I never thought people really cried themselves to sleep That that's something only done in lyrics to songs But i guess art imitates life - and vice-versa - so why surprise Of my tears' lullabies that for so long Has accompanied me in my journey to beddy-bye ville Where insult and injury await at the the subconscious station So i guess despite what you did, despite all you've done Regardless of the effects on me and all i've become I have no choice but to accept the realization [Ch:] You may have lied (and lied - and LIED) All my trust may have died I may have lost a part of me inside That i liked very much But throughout all the anquish and the rage, The effigies i burn on stage, At the end of the day When there's nothing left to say.. I really miss the person i once thought you were Had you not stealthily, seductively schmoozed your way In my life, you'd never get anywhere near my heart But i could swear you were so angelic at first When you burst my perception, everything else collapsed apart All the king's horses and men nor a year's supply of superglue And turtle wax could adequately repair Everything that i used to be inside Perhaps because i'm broke no matter how i've tried I've yet to convince myself i don't still care [Chorus repeats] Despite all your selfish acts And all your falsified facts Of who you are, of what you meant to me Despite the trust in me that's gone All the pain that penned this song Despite your leaving everything wrong At the end of the day When there's nothing left to say I really miss the person i once thought you were

Commentary All things considered, i've probably fallen completely in love to the point of having thought i've found my life-partner two times. Both times, each person was (in their own unique way) a fraud who set themselves up to me as someone they weren't and basically conned me into a relationship with purposes other than what things had been on the surface. When i learned the truth about the second person, it was very much like a death - with all the various stages of grief that losing someone close to you entails - but with the added feeling of knowing that the person you loved and lost wasn't even real - he was in all actuality, a fictional character - so in essence, you're left grieving for someone who's still alive and someone who never existed. Those that study the stages of grief say that it takes about a year to process through everything so i wrote this a year after that relationship had broken up to try to establish some closure...i had written enough songs beforehand that were directly or indirectly about said person and/or experience, but this was a chance to both bury the "dead" and also acknowledge that the love i felt was real even if the person it was being directed to really wasn't. Like a literally dead person, there's that deep desire to be able to bring them back which is of course impossible...but the same principle also applied here; wishing i could bring back the lie and go back. To extend the metaphor further, this song is ultimately about a "double funeral", as it's not just grieving over the other person but also the person i used to be before the experience took place and removed a ssnse of innocence and trust that could never be replaced; missing and not being able to bring back the parts of myself that i very much liked. Two people who may still physically walk the earth are "dead", missed, and forever lost.

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