I think i would enjoy being a gay man much more If i didn't have to put up with other gay men Having to deal with braindead burping butches Or those who work much too hard to be femme Much too much men with much too much testosterone WIth egos that outweigh their musculature Behaving like bratty boys that scarcely matured Or constantly acting like some desperate hustler Is there anything more obnoxious that a gay drunken frat boy Or queens wanting to reign supreme over RuPaul My logic tells my emotion there are men not wanting just one thing But i haven't yet managed to locate any at all "Hey you" my brain yells at the rest of me Somewhere out there in this wide world is a man Who doesn't lean too much towards either exasperating extreme That may be so, but he's probably in Japan Someone who doesn't feel they have something to prove Someone who's sincere rather than snotty How can i help but agree with women who say "men are jerks" Good God, i'm a lesbian in a gay man's body! Oh, i can hear the queers scream "Internalized homophobia" And Pat Robertson claim i'm being punished for the sin Of being who God created me to be If that's so, the curse is not from within It's not a lifestyle of misery that's my curse It's being among other gay that's the affliction Who succomb to the slander of a homophobic society And suppress friendship in favor of sex addiction Then perhaps, maybe i place too much blame on being gay For my inability to find someone who's like me For i'm an artist, hence an observer, hence an isolationist Finding a match, male or female, would take an eternity

Commentary Like "Sloppy Joe", this was another spoken-word piece that was written specifically to be read aloud rather than sang. I don't know how universal this is, that is to say, of gay people, how many have this experience...but extend this a bit more universally, it's ultimately about the disappointment of reality compared with initial idealism. When one comes out and explores the gay community, there's initially a sense of freedom and libertaion - the relief that there are others out there "like you" and maybe you can fit in and be understood. Then in time one sees that the gay community can in its own way be even more collectively selfish, insensitive, and severly disappointing...at the end of the day gay men can be just a big of a pig as a straight man can be. Yet at the same time there's still the "outside world" with all its homophobia and nastiness coming from one direction and not much solace coming from the inside. Gay pride was becoming less of a conceivable reality to me when i wrote this and i was really getting tired of the whole experience...i was still proud to be gay and despite depression and low self-esteem issues, i genuinely liked who i was in comparison to who/what i wasn't - i just couldn't translate that same pride to the gay community at large. I was proud of myself as a gay man, but not proud of gay society. By making this a spoken-word piece, i was better able to interject some humor and lightness in a subject i found personally very depressing and unsettling.

	Powered by MSN TV