MY STORY

My name is Barbara Rubin and I have been chemically injured by pesticides. I was sensitized in my early adult years to chemicals, most likely from both acute and chronic exposures to Dursban imposed upon me by landlords and employers. Once the reason for my recurring health problems became clear in 1990, I managed to live and work productively through avoidance of further exposures. Accommodation plans were drafted with employers and landlords. In 1999, I supervised a school for developmentally disabled children under the auspices of a large, not-for-profit agency. I had a written accommodation plan which assured me I would not be exposed to pesticides without my knowledge and that I was permitted to avoid contact with the chemicals if used in my vicinity. The company did not keep its word and I was exposed (as were all in the school) to recurrent applications of neurotoxic pyrethroid insecticides performed after school hours without my knowledge. After six months of exposure I was left brain damaged and unable to perform even routine tasks with my prior levels of skill. An MRI exam indicated cortical atrophy while neuropsychological evaluation estimated a 24 point loss in IQ with deficits across the board in linguistic, cognitive and sensori-motor functioning. My career as a speech-language pathologist and school administrator was ended. A residential pesticide exposure was later imposed upon me the following year by new tenants living below my second floor apartment. They violated their agreement not to use pesticides without advance notification. Dichlorvos fumes, entering my apartment through the floorboards, left me so ill that the majority of my days are still spent in bed, resting and trying to maintain strict avoidance of toxic chemicals. All of my possessions were contaminated and had to be discarded; library, furnishings, clothing, electronics etc. The cumulative effects of all these exposures have been devastating to myself and my family. All incidents were reported to the EPA who informed me that insofar as the chemicals used were registered, they were not interested in investigating the blatant misuse of these poisons. They suggested I litigate these matters privately, given the prior agreements that such exposures would not occur. They were indifferent to the fact that routine applications of chemicals, approved for use by their agency, can cause such horrendous health effects. This is a violation of all rational thought and moral responsibility.

FLIGHT FROM GARDEN CHEMICALS
Taking Refuge in Car - Life Outdoors

I selected a new apartment in a private home in a coastal, residential area with assurances that no toxic materials were used on site. It was not an optimal place with a garage below my bedroom but, as they had a separate gardening shed, I assumed nothing toxic would be kept in there. I was soon ill from fumes emanating from below the house which turned out to be methylene chloride (chemical common in antifreeze and used in their garden bamboo pond). This was confirmed through toxicological testing but the owners denied any possible source - even after their teenage son admitted the presence of that termperature sensitive chemical below. The response to my appeal for their safety, as well as my own, was abusive and I took flight.

Very ill from the combinations of toxic materials to which I had been exposed, I was too senstive to tolerate the mold problem in my father's residence or the building maintenance policies (exterminating etc.) of my siblings' apartment buildings. While searching for a new apartment, I lived in my sedan parked in front of my father's residence, with access to a kitchen and bathroom. My family was in agony over my choice to remain outdoors during that cold and rainy May of 2001. I had just been approved for disability and everyone was having difficulty adjusting to the fact that I would not get better or resume the life I had enjoyed prior to July, 1999. Relationships within the family were very disturbed as is common with chronic illness and magnifiied in environmental illness issues. I am still struggling to find a safe residence, three years after my career was ended. Years when I should have been convalescing instead of trying to survive in poorly costructed apartments or in good buildings polluted by other tenants' smoking, use of toxic synthetic fragrances and the ubiquitous pesticides. Years of loss of family contacts and friends unable to accept my physical limitations or that there was no "magic bullet" that could cure me. Chemical injury takes a disreputable path in modern life requiing the patient to perform the research, convince doctors to act upon such novel premises and find a safe place to live and /or work if possible. Official agencies have no accommodations for us with shelters and hotels all regularly sprayed for pests, despite the availability of safer technology for that purpose. These pages were a project undertaken during the months following my brain injury. Now burdened with many of the characteristics common to learning disabilities, I utilized my fondness for mythology and my need to learn about pesticides to regain lost literacy and researching skills. I drafted these pages over five months as I worked two to five hours per day to improve reading and memory skills, with no intention of making them public. However, having learned of so many deaths and injuries due to chemical injury, I share these pages of metaphor to demonstrate that we have learned nothing in centuries of "maturation" and we readily abandon scientific principles in the name of profits. Why? Follow the money trail.....