MY EYES HAVE SEEN THE GLORY Of many dig sites. Of cultures and traditions Both in the day and nights. I'll always be amazed By these wonderous sites. As Indy marches on. Glory, Glory Archeology Glory, Glory Anthropology Glory, Glory then I''ll be free As Indy Marches On. I've woke up in the morning Among the dew and da~mp. I've slept beside a fire And in a tipi camp. I know that I'll always Have another chance As Indy Marches On. Glory, Glory Archeolgy .... I've found many cultures And followed lots of tra~ils I've dressed like the natives Eating ants n monkey tails. To me a new day never ever pales As Indy marches on. Glory, Glory Archeology Glory, Glory Anthropology Glory, Glory now I am me As Indy marches on. Lloyd T. Rich taimloyd@webtv.net

INDIANA COULD HEAR THE SOUND OF A LOVE FLUTE AS HE STUDIED THE MEDICINE WHEEL BEFORE HIM.

Suddenly he remembered a song one of his students sang one hot day at a class Dig Site .

I've been working on this dig site
All this long hot day !
I've been working on this dig site
Just passing time a-way.

Can't you hear someone shouting
Is it horn or bone ?
Can't you hear the re~ply
Go get Indy Jones

Someone's in the dig with Indy
Someone's in the diig I knoow !
Someone.s In the Dig with Indy
It's A SNAKE > LOOK at INDY GO

HE'S TURNING INDIGO

Indiana Jones smiled as he remembered it. The snake had turned out to be a new bull whip that was partially concealled and looked like a Snake. It was a gift from his class, and Lloyd Rich had made up the song about it. He smiled again.
Listening to the Native American Drums sound like the beating of the heart of the Earth Indiana studied the large Medicine Wheel in front of him meditating on it and how each part of it refered to
a part of his life and what he had to do to walk in Balance, He had speant hours discussing it's importance with a Medicine Teacher and some Elders . Indiana had learned how Sacred it was and how to become one with it and the Creator through it . His heart seemed to beat in time to the drums and th distant chanting he heard. When he was here, and in thanksgiving for His help Indy made offerings to Wakantanka which was the Lakota name for the creator. It means THE GREATEST MYSTERY he thought. He stated chanting it as a Mantra . Then he offered to the Earth in thanksgiving for what the Creator suppled through her and then all the directions , He had just finished thanking Creator for all life when Indiana Jone heard the sound of foot steps softly approaching him then paused off to one side . He finished his prayers and then turned .

"WHAT IS IT ?" ASKED INDIANA IRRITABLY .... Then Indiana smiled, and said , "Sorry! I felt I had found balance in the Medicine Wheel. I also think I had a vision but can't figure it out. I saw a bear eating apples and was trying to figure it out . "I'm sorry ! " appologized Johnaton . Then Johnaton continued, " I need your help . I was asked to join the Discordian Society . After I accepted they told me when the ceremony to make me a member was , but not where it was going to be. I didn't make it to the ceremony . I then found Ihat fhat was the first requirement for my membership . I now have to go on a quest and then when I succeed I will be a member . They said I could bring one person with me, but they must be willing to act as a representative of me and preform any ceremony that I am supposed to preform. I thought of you and would like you to help me on the Quest I am going on. " "Well sure Johnaton . " Indiana replied . " I wonder if it has anything to do witth the vision I had in the Medicine Wheel during the offering ?" " Thanks greatly . One of their members then showed me an old dusty book ." Johnaton then continued. " He said he owned a book store and was able to locate the original copy of the PRINCEPIA DISCORDIA by Melaclypce The Younger KSC. He then told me ", Johnaton explained . "It contained some lost mysteries of the Discordian Religon that had been written then hidden by him in the first book which had been lost in time until he felt it was time to reveal it .. Reflecting the theory that He might be a Time Traveler , and then may be not. Only he knows for sure He also discovered he informed me the location of " then Johnaton paused. " Indiana ! He then looked both ways and made sure no one was listening and said, "I believe I know where the Golden Apple Of the Goddess Eris is. It has been decided by the Golden Apple Core that you Johnaton have to find it . Then you will be an honored member . Then he disappeared . " Indiana looked at Johnaton critically, and asked , "You want me to help you find an apple ?"

LET ME EXPLAIN IT TO YOU AND WHY IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO LOCATE THE APPLE OF ERIS !!!! "According to the manuscript I read that the Golden Apple Of Eris does exist, and has been responsile for many wars brgining with the Trojan War. It is responsible for the creation and the maintaince of chaos to confuse the enemy and must be found . Last time it was found by the Germans just before the Second World War began. Then suddenly it disappeared and he war ended. The origenal manuscript seems to indicate where the Golden Apple of Eris is hidden and how to locate it . I have to bring it back but I am not allowed to touch it until I become a member,and after a ceremony that must be preformed by someone beside me to obtain it. "

SEEING THE CONFUSION ON INDIANAS FACE JOHNTON STARTED TO EXPLAIN "According to the PRINCEPIA DISCORDIA Manuscript the Goddess Eris exists !!!! She is the twin sister of Ares the Greek God of War, the Daughter of Zeus, and Hera, and the Wife of Chaos. She is very mischevous and sometimes annoying because of this Pelius and Thetis did not want to invite Eris to their wedding feast . Zeus felt she would cause problems, and interfere with the spirit of the wedding," continued Johnaton. "When Eris found out about this she was very peaved ." PUT 1 CUP LEMON JUICE IN A LARGE BOWL` " Eris made an apple of pure Gold, On it she wrote KALLISTI (To The Prettiest One depending on the tranlation used. During the height of the feast Eris sneaked in and rolled the Golden Apple into the middle of the floor of the banquet hall. No one can recall who saw it first . Hera claimed it as Queen Of The Gods, while Athenea said she was the prettiest. Always being jealous of her beauty Venus said that she was the most beautiful one. " PEEL AND SLICE 4 CUPS APPLES 1 Cup for each Goddess who fought over the Golden Apple and Goddess Eris who . If you want to symbolize this use GOLDEN DELICIOUS apples. AFTER PEELING AND SLICING THE APPLES INTO PIIECES symbolizing the Goddesses fighting over the Golden Apple PUT THE SLICES IN 1/2 CUP LEMON JUICE MIXING APPLES UP WELL WHEN ADDED TO KEEP THEM FROM BROWNING. LET THEM REST. You can also use the Lemon Juice to write a secret message. Send it to Eris by burning it in a flame symbolizing Her mischevnous. Writing on the side of Apples before using them is not recomended unless the apple is Golden. Zeus then called for an Arbatrator and it was decided on. Paris a Shepard of Troy. The different Goddesses tried to bribe him each claiming the Golden Apple . Herra offered him Great Wealth PUT TOGETHER 1 CUP FLOUR, Athena offered him Victories in all of his battles . ADD 1 CUP FLOUR, and Venus offered him the most Beautiful woman on Earth ADD 1 MORE CUP FLOUR OR TOTAL 3 CUPS OF FLOUR FOR THE GODDESSES . ADD A DASH OF SALT for their determination, THEN REMOVE 1/3 MIXTURE symbolizing Venus whos bribe Paris accepted and who was to marry Helen Of Troy . ADD 1/4 CUP PEANUT OIL because the sitution was nutty and slippery . MIX IT ALL UP AND THEN ADD THE REMAINDER OF FLOUR MIXTURE to symbolize the Trojan War which resulted from this. RETURN THE 1/3 REMOVED MIXTURE AND ADD 1 /2 CUP WATER AND MIX TOGETHER to cool things down, and GET A GREAT CRUST WALKING UP THE SIDES OF A WELL OILED PAN as soldiers tried to enter the walls of Athens before they found a better way in and won the war by concealing themselves in a great wood horse. After it was brought inside the city the soldiers came out and won in the confussion. All because of the Golden Apple Of Eris.

"THIS HAS ME CONFUSED," SAID INDIANA. WHAT HAS THIS TO DO WITH ME. ?" "Well responded Johnaton . I know that the Golden Apple Of Eris Or Apple Of Discord really does exist. After all it started theTrojan War. After it was given to Helen by Paris for a wedding present it disappeared. It reappeared in Germany right after the first World War and may have caused The Second World War. Now it has to e found again, and Indiana you have to help find it. It is dangerous in the wrong hands because The Apple Of Discord can cause confusion and unlimited chaos whenever it appears . If we do not find it it may be misused . '" concluded Johnaton. "Then it has a ceremony to get rid of the Golden Apple Of Discord but the last part is in a code . There is a good possibility we will find it with the Apple of Discorde Code which is only in that copy of the Princepia Discordia. "It says" Johnaton said, " something has to be be covered with something to be found nearby during a Ceremony preformed by one not seeking to be a worshiper of Eris and Discordian member for one who is seeing to do so . Then the location of the Apple is given in code. The Discordian Elder who is sending me on the quest told me he translatd it but couldn't tell me everything . He then told me I would understand it all when the time was wight."

SOON THEY WERE ON THEIR WAY TO FIND THE GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORD. The Village that the manuscript indicated was near the site was quite quaint. It was Bazzer Day and as Indiana and Johnaton walked throgh the crowd and looked at the booths and blanket traders Indiana had a feeling he was being fallowed but when he looked around no one seemed to notice him except one man in robes waving at him. "ICE CREAM !!!!" he shouted . "Sure !! Why not !! " said Indiana thinking how he had been studying and talking about the Golden Apple Of Discord from The Princepia Discordia, and other material on it Johnaton had brought along. Feeling hungry he Got a BOWL ABOUT 1 CUP OF VANILLA ICE CREAM .

HE SAW JOHNATON AGAIN WHO HAD INFORMED HIM THAT THE ORIGENAL MANUSCRIPT HE HAD SEEN HAD THE DIRECTIONS WHERE IT WAS TO BE FOUND . "All the other copies of the Princepia Disordia that The Golden Apple Core had made to flood the world did not have that infromation in them. I have been trying to locate the Sacred Temple of Eris " Johnatonn told Indiana, " but have not had much luck. " "I feel we are being followed !! " said Indiana as he started walking faster and his hand stayed near the handle of his Snake like bull whip. Suddenly his arms were pinned at his sideas a Burlap bag was pulled ovrhis head. He could hear Johnaton struggling, and smell the bag. ' It smells like like Apples. I can ju..' suddenly his thoughts vanished as something hit him and everything around him disappeared. As he fell Indy was still thinking about apples.

When they came to Indiana coud still smell the inside of the bag, but it seemed stronger. He struggled discovering his hands were tied but the bag was loose. Falling over he landed on something hard and lumpy that shifted under his weight. Wriggling he managed to get out of the bag to descover he was in a very small room surrounded by .. by .. he noticed his whip was gone . Looking around again he noticed Johnaton still in the bag setting in the corner of a room half full of Apples. 'Well at least it's not stnakes" said Indiana. "Leastways we won't go hungry. " After Johnathon got out of his Apple Bag Indiana asked him if he could feel his pocket knife. Johnaton said he could feel it, and got it out of Indiana's pocket. Soon they were lose. "They took my whip, " said Indiana. "How come they didn't take my pocket knife? " "Thats why ! " replied Johnaton pointing at the Oscar Meyer Wheener Whistle on the Key Chain the pocket knife was on. "It is against their religon to touch Hot Dog Buns , or anything that looks like one . The Oscar Meyer whistle was to them therefor unclean so they could not take your pocket knife ." " By the way ", asked Indiana . "How do you pronounce your last name ? " "McIntosh ", replied Johnaton smiling. "Johnaton McIntosh ." smiled Indiana. "It figures ! "

"HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THIS WHAT YOU CALL IT DISCORDIANISM ?" ASKED INDIANA. I was asked to join, "explained Johnaton "By a guy I met at a Gathering I was attending . There were many different beliefs present but they seemed to be the most interesting so I agreed to join them when they invitee me to join. They then made me a member at a meeting which I was invited to but was not present because I did not know where it was . They later told me that a new member can not attend a meeting until after they have become a member. If I had attended I would not have been accepted as a member As part of my Initiation I have to find the Golden Apple of Eris ahhh Discordianism . I think we got closer then they expected." He smiled at Indiana and continued pileing apples against the door, and on both sides of it . Suddenly the handle moved and someone tried to open it. "HAIL ERIS !!!!" came the shout as the door burst open and the apples stacked against and around it rolled onto the people coming in causing them to trip on the apples and fall . "NOW !! " yelled Indiana and they leap frogged over the Apples and the 4 men in robes with the emblem of an apple with greek letters on the front of it. The long tube like corridor reminded Indiana of the Vulcano Tubes he had seen and walked through in Hawaii . They were made by fast flowing Magma from the Vulcano as it cooled slower then the lava flowing through it. "Speaking of flowing right now I could sure use a plavce to "

INDIANA HAD A FEELING HE AND JOHNATON WERE BEING WATCHED, BUT WHEN HE TURNED THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE THERE .

JOHNATON HAD SUDDENLY GRABBED INDIANA'S HAND AND PULLED HIM INTO A ROOM WITH A FUNNY LOOKING DOOR. The room seemed small when they entered with burning candles alng the wall . Indiana was sure he heard a muffled gihgle after he entered but did not see anyone else or anything else in the room until he noticed an alter to one side, and above the middle of it was a GOLDEN APPLE with the Greek letters KALLISTI carved into it seemig to hoover in the air. and in front of it seemed to be a table with food on it and to the side a stove. Indiana started to aproach the Golden Apple and it's alter but he discovered hmself moving away from it The harder he tried to get close to it the farther away he seemed to be getting . He tried to use his whip to help pull him closer but it would not wrap around anything between him and the altr. He got an idea andtossed it at a beam above and behind him took a swing on the whip and ended up behind the beam faced away from the alter yet he had been facing it. It was like everything he did ended up backwards. He then got an idea remembering the Lakota Heyoka Warriors who did everything backwards or contrary , and who seemed chaotic . Since he was in the Temple of Eris the Goddess of Chaos and nothing else had worked Indy decided to behave like a Heyoka.

THE ROOM SEEMED TO GET BIGGER AS HE WALKED AWAY FROM THE ALTER. AS HE WALKED AWAY FROM IT IT SEEMED HE GOT CLOSER TO THE ALTER. Johnaton closed his arms and watched Indiana marveling on how the more he tried to walk away from the Alter the closer he got to it until suddenly Indy found himself standing right in front of it and the food on it . Above and behind it hoovered the Golden Apple of Discord. . The Shrine Of The Golden Apple. It seemed just out of reach. Indiana Gazed at it. It seemed so Hypnotic and he felt like he was floating slowly upwards and towards it yet he was still standing in front of the Alter of food before it, He pulled his eyes from it . Then he saw the part of the scroll that continued on from the part of it Johnaton had told him about. The ceremony seemed to be for creating A GOLDEN APPLE PIE. 'Well this must be the ritual I have to preform .' thought Indiana . "The Oven is on because I can feel the heat rising from it . l'll worry about why it was on when I got here later . "

ON THE ALTER RESTED AN ALREADY MADE PIE CRUST Indiana looked at the ingredients for the pie. Then he looked at the already made pie crust and wondered who had made it. He suddenly thought he heard a muffled giggle. Then he noticed the 4 CUPS PEELED, CORED AND SLICED APPLES SOAKING IN A BOWL 1/3 FULL OR ABOUT 1/2 CUP OF LEMON JUICE . Well it tasted like Lemon juice it was soaking in. Indy remembered that SOAKING APPLES IN LEMON JUICE KEEPS THEM FROM TURNING BROWN. 'How did they ?'... he wondered "Let's see it says I am to say ... "Hail Eris, Hail Eris , Hail Discordia . This Golden Apple Pie Is For You ! " Was that a giggle again, yet no one was around except Johnaton standing a little ways away watching , and the bright candles flickering against the walls and lighting the room but makin no other shadows "Now according to the ritual ," said Indiana . "It says ~ MIX together 3 CUPS SUGAR for the sweetness of Eris and her defeat of the Godesses Hera, Aphrodite, and Venus .. TO THIS ADD 2 TBSP. FLOUR for Zeus who floured Eris for not inviting her to the wedding, 1 TBSP SALT IN A TARNISHED TEASPOON with a tarnished handle for life , MIX ALTOGETHER AND ADD 2 SCRAMBLED UP EGGS shaken not stirred in a sealed container for all the yolks Eris has played. ADD 1 TEASPOON VANILLA, I TEASPOON CINNAMON, AND 1 TEASPOON NUTMEG for Eris's views on life. Indiana paused wondering what they were in relationship to the spices . Now MIX EVERY THING UP WELL AND LET RELAX. FLOUR BOARD OR COUNTER. PUT AND ROLL OUT PIE CRUST ON IT UNTIL A LITTLE BIT BIGGER THEN THE PIE PAN to symbolize Eris's ego and how it covers everything. LET REST A BIT. MELT 1 CUP OF BUTTER IN A SMALL PAN UNTIL LIQUIDY AND HAVE A CLEAN BRUSH READY in case you get the brush off like te Goddess Eris TO SPREAD IT ON THE CRUST, LET SET. ADD 1 CUP HARD VANILLA ICE CREAM (I like COOKIES AND CREAM FLAVOR.) TO THE SLICED APPLES because Eris is so cool. 'Why put Ice Cream in an Apple Pie instead of on top?' Indiana wondered. Then he remembered where he was. He decided not to try to figure this out, or how Ice Cream that shold be soft setting on the Alter was still cold and very hard. IMMEDIATELY POUR MIXTURE IN BOWL OVER THE 4 CUPS OF APPLES symbolizing the 3 Goddesses that Eris got even with and Eris because she hates being left out, AND ICE CREAM.. He then contined reading, " QUICKLY MIX EVERYTHING TOGETHER UNTIL WELL MIXED AND POUR INTO PIE PAN. COVER THE PIE FILLING IN THE PIE SHELL WITH DOUGH ROLLED FLAT AND then CUT INTO STRIPS THEN LIFTING WITH A WIDE FLAT KNIFE PUT ON TOP OF THE PIE IN SECTIONS. The EDGES OF THE CRUST WHERE THE TOP CRUST JOINS THAT IN THE PIE PAN ARE THEN PRESSED DOWN AND PLEATED. PUT APPLE PIE IN THE OVEN BEFORE ICE CREAM MELTS. BAKE AT 400 DEGREES FOR 30 MINUTES . REMOVE IT AND BRUSH (I use a small paint brush that is used for spreading melted Butter only) THE CRUST WITH THE 1 CUP MELTED BUTTER which Indiana had melted on the stove while the pie was baking. PUT The APPLE PIE BACK IN FOR 15 MINUTES LONGER OR UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN ON TOP for the Golden Apple of Eris. AFTER COOLING KEEP IT IN THE REFRIGERATOR A FEW HOURS BEFORE SERVING because Eris is so very Cool.

REMOVING THE PIE INDIANA SET THE GOLDEN APPLE PIE OF ERIS ON THE ALTER . Suddenly a bright light surrounded the GOLDEN APPLE PIE giving it a beautiful hypnotic glow drawing Indiana, and Johnaton closer to it as it's delicious oder beckened to them and curled around their noses . The pie looked so delicious and they felt that they had to have to ..... suddenly there was a muffled giggle and the Golden Apple Pie suddenly rose up off of the Alter as if being raised by invisible hands and then it somehow managed to hit them both in the face at the same time, This was followed by a muffled giggle . "What in the name of >>>?" Indiana started to say. Johnaton interupted him. "Eris ! " Johnaton exclaimed. " We have just been blessed by Eris with the Golden Apple PIe we offered to her according to the Discordian tradition" "Not bad." said Indiana licking his lips. Then, "Where's the fork ?" The echo of a giggle was heard.

Indiana looked at the Cards and Certificate . "I don't understand . What are these ? " Johnaton gasped ," Eris herself has not only accepted me as a member of The Legion of Dynamic Discord , but she has also elevated us to POPE too. " Indiana picked up 1 of the cards from the Alter saying , " I wonder if it will work the next time I have a run in with the Germans ?" THe only response was a muffled giggle.

SUDDENLY THE GOLDEN APPLE HOVERING IN THE AIR ABOVE THE ALTER GLOWED SO BRIGHT AND WHEN THEIR EYES CLEARED THERE IT SAT ON THE ALTER OF ERIS .

HAIL ERIS .... Thanks for this honor so others will be able to see the Golden Apple Of Discord .

"Do you believe in Unicorns? I hear there is chalice made out of a Unicorn horn. It is said it gives great power to Virgins." "Yes," Indiana said. "It would be very Sacred." Suddenly a muffled giggle echoed through out the room.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE DIG SITES GONE ~ Lloyd T. Rich Where have all the dig sites gone Long time sear-ch-ing Where have all the dig sites gone From long time a-go Where have all the dig sites gone Wanted by Nat~zis and then some When will they ever learn When will they ever learn. Where have all the Natives gone. Long thime hunt~ing. Where have all the Natives gone Like Long A-go Where have all the Natives gone. Into hiding every one When will they ever learn When will they ever learn. Where have all the Temples gone Long time hid~den Where have all the Temples gone From long a-go Where have all the Temples gone Lost in jungles evry one When will they ever learn When will they ever learn. Where have all the Archys gone Long time dig~ging Where have all the Archys gone Like long a-go Where have all the Archys gone Searching like Indy every one When will they ever learn When will they ever learn. Where have all the dig sites gone Long time search~ing Where have all the dig sites gone Like long a-go Where have all the dig sites gone From the Earth every one When will they ever learn, When will they ev~er learn. Lloyd Timeloyd Rich taimloyd@webtv.net This song is based on the Indiana Jones movies, and my love for Anthropology and Archeology . No cultural offense is meant by this song .

MY AWARDS

I am honored to have received the Killroy Award

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