THE LIVING LOVE GLOSSARY (Complete) ( Reading through this complete glossary can give you a background-overview of the system that will greatly enhance your use and enjoyment of the Methods ~ and you earn extra credits! ) ADDICTION: An emotion-backed demand, expectation or model that makes you upset or unhappy if it's not satisfied. It may be a demand on yourself, on another person or on a situation. ADDICTIVE DEMAND: Another term for addiction. ADDICTIVE SNARL: Multiple and / or conflicting emotion-backed demands. Snarls are usually supported by core beliefs or unconscious assumptions. ADDICTIVE TAPE: Addictive programming. Words or phrases that automatically run through your mind when you are feeling separating emotions. "BUILDING A CASE": Finding an increasing number of logic-tight reasons for making someone or something wrong and thus keeping you from emotionally accepting "what is." BUYING IN: When you emotionally identify with (or emotionally reject) another person's addictive models of how s/he, someone, something or you should be, and create separating feeling in yourself. CAUGHT UP: Upset. Feeling any separating emotions. Running addictive tapes. CENTERED: The experience of feeling enough in yourself, and emotionally accepting other people. Things are being experienced as not threatening or constituting a problem. Feeling calm, peaceful, aware, clear-minded, not caught in an addiction. When you are centered, you are able to tune-in to your inner wisdom. CHANGING THE "OUTSIDE WORLD": Putting energy into changing situations or people (including yourself) that you wish to be different, as contrasted with doing the inner work of upleveling your addiction to a preference. CLEAR: Having no addictive demands triggered; feeling completely accepting; not creating any separating emotions. CORE BELIEF: An idea, thought or belief that is deeply impressed into the conscious and unconscious functioning of your mind. Usually programmed in during childhood, a core belief is so deeply rooted that it is tenaciously held even when the intellect knows it is inaccurate. It usually persists for an entire lifetime, but with much patient practice, determination and a supporting environment, it can be altered. EGO: The master controller of your mind that determines what is processed onto the screen of your consciousness. The ego is your friend, but it often operates from separating, addictive tapes and untrue or inappropriate core beliefs. These create the illusory experience of the separate-self whose domain of security, sensation and power is continually threatened by "what is." As you retire these separating tapes by working on your addictive programming, the ego activates tapes that let you experience the unified-self that transforms your experience of yourself and of the world around you. EGO- MIND: A compound term usually used in referring to the joint operation of the ego (when it selects which addictions are being treatened) and the rational mind (when it serches for solutions to protect the addictons by creating "me-vs.-them," "right-wrong" and "subject-object" thought forms). GAME: An activity of life that has dos and don'ts and a win-loss position. "Game" refers to the roles you play in life, e.g., the marriage game, the parent game, the consciousness growth game, the insueance game, the sex game,ect. When you play life as a game, you can avoid the heaviness of a "right-wrong" judgmental approach and instead create an effective and enjoyable experience of life.(This meaning of "game" should not be confused with the way in which it was used in "Games People Play" by Eric Berne, which refers to dishonest ploys that you use to manipulate another person.) HANDLING AN ADDICTION: In the Living Love system, you are "handling an addiction" when you do all of the following three things: (1) formuate a specific demand you are running, (2) have the intellectual insight that your addictive demand is the immediate, practical cause of your experience--instead of blaming yourself, other people or external circumstance in your life and (3) work on this addiction using one of the Living Love Methods. ILLUSION: A distorted perception of "what is." The mind produces illusions to the degree that it is running addictions. INNER WORK: The process of consciously using the Patways or other Living Love Methods to gain insight, uplevel your addictions to preferences, and love unconditionally. LOVE: Emotional acceptance is both a goal love and a means toward the goal. The experience of love is created when your perception is not being distorted by "me-vs.-them' perceptions. Love is the experience of others as "us," and not separately as "him," "her" or "them." Addictions are the enemy of love. Love increases when you handle your feelings of criticalness and separateness from yourself and others. MELODRAMA: Your "act"; your actions on the stage of life. The purpose of this term is to help you experience the moment to moment events in your here-and-now with perspective and detachment instead of creating threatening self-conscious addictive perceptions that keep pushing your emotional buttons. Synonym: soap opera. MODEL: An expectation. A particular form or standard of how you, someone else or a situation "should be" or "shouldn't be." Models can be either preferential or addictive. PAYOFF: Some psychological, emotional or physical reward that can induce you to hold on to an addiction. Payoffs may be real or illusory. PREFERENCE: A desire that cannot trigger any separating emotions or tensions in the body or mind. You have a preference if you do not create any separating emotions or thoughts when you do not get what you want. From a preferential space, you can put energy into making changes, but you are not emotionally demanding results; you remain unconditionally accepting and loving yourself and others. Preferences help you experience life through the 4th, 5th and / or 6th Centers of Consciousness. PROGRAMMING: The conditioning, mental sets or learnings in your mind that determine your verbal, emotional and bodiy responses to life situations. Tapes in your bio-computer; mental habits. Programming may be preferential or addictive. RATIONAL MIND: The function of your brain that analyzes, justifies and reasons. The "thinking" activity that helps you devise a strategy to get what you want in life. The rational mind is misused when you allow it to become your master and create a separating "right-wrong," "me-vs.-them" way of perceiving "what is." It serves you when it produces perceptions from the view of the unified-self. RIP-OFF: A disadvantage; a way in which holding on to a demand keeps you from feeling loving, being effective and enjoying your life. Your suffering and unhappiness. Getting less than is available. Negatively affecting, e.g., "rip-off energy." ROLLER-COASTERING: The up-and-down experience of feeling good when your addictions are satisfied and feeling afraid, frustrated, angry, ect. when life is not meeting your addictive demands. The oscillation between addictive highs and addictive lows. SEPARATE-SELF: The illusory "me-vs.-them" perceptions that guard your security, sensation and power addictions.The mental programs that create the experience of your life as a battle against yourself, other people and / or the world, instead of the compassionate, understanding and wise flowing of energy through the unified-self that sees how everything fits into a common pattern of individual and social growth and enjoyment. SEPARATING EMOTIONS: Feelings such as fear, disapointment, hurt, loneliness, guilt, frustration, boredom, anger and annoyance that create the illusion of alienation from yourself and / or other people. SOAP OPERA: See "melodrama." The "games" of life that are being played out on the stage of the world. The term is helpful in reminding you to see with perspective, take lightly what's happening and not get caught up in addictive seriousness. STUFF: Your addictive demand and the consequent separating emotions (such as fear, frustration and anger) that it triggers. The chains of rationalizing, criticizing, judging and blaming thoughts and actions that are created by your addictions. SUBJECT-OBJECT: Experiencing yourself as all-important and viewing others as pawns that help you get something you want in life~~or avoid something you don't want. Subject-object refers to seeing yourself as subject and others as objects which either enhance or threaten your self-image. Not relating to people as human beings like yourself. SUFFERING: The experience of any separating feelings in any degree. This term is used broadly in the Living Love methodology. Separatness is suffering; running unpleasant emotions is suffering; not loving yourself and others is suffering. When suffering is continual, you experience unhappiness. TAPE: Your response to a life situation. Words that go through your mind; your conditioning; programming in your biocomputer. Tapes may be preferential or addictive. TEACHER: People, situations or objects that put you in touch with your addictive programming. Consciousness growth requires that you open yourself to the "teachings" that occur in the daily interactions of life. TUNE-IN TO: Become aware of; listen to; explore or experience. "TUNNEL VISION": Viewing "What is" from a narrow perspective so that only a few elements are seen and are thus blown up in importance. Being blind to most aspects of a situation. UNIFIED-SELF: "Us" instead of "me-vs.-them" perceptions. Programming that gives you an overall perspective of how everything fits perfectly into your journey through life, either for your growth or your enjoyment. The unified-self thus creates an experience of people and situations as a necessary or inegral part of your journey~~ instead of the possible separte-self experience of a nuisance or threat. "WHAT IS": Impartial, objective reality; the way the universe is unfolding as contrasted with the illusory versions you create by your self-centered addictive demands. Your perception of "what-is" is thus distorted by the minds attempt to satisfy your addictions. Often "what is" is used to remind you of what you are choosing to addictively resist, cling to or ignore (which may be real or imagined). WISDOM: A balanced appropriate response to a life situation based on an intergration of the intellect and the intuitive heart feelings. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reprinted from "How to Enjoy Your Life in Spite of It All" by Ken Keyes, Jr. Copyright 1980 by Living Love Publications.