|
It is said that we write our best when we hurt...when the pains of life, loving and exposing ourselves fall short of our expectations....when our hearts beat in our chest with desire, need and want, that is when we are the most colorful....in acting and expressing....some may say it is weakness...others may say needy, or maybe emotional...but what is it that makes us want for another....a simple pleasure....sharing the birth of a new day....when the sun rises above the horizon and brightness illuminates the darkness and you can see....a heart in love it seems to me filled with the hope of that new day....a new beginning....time to be filled with expectations of what we believe in....and as quick as those rays of light appear so can expectations of what we see....a smile, a gesture, a word here and there....your face, your image, you smiled....and my heart beat faster....you reached out and seductively gestured with your hand ....your fingers wrapped around my heart and pulled....I came near and quickly escaped...withdrew because it was so new....but you remained in my thoughts....and when I saw you again....the sun rose again....and brightness lumed around me....your hand I felt in mine....your body close to mine....you said I smelled so good....we danced ..while my heart sang....I thought you felt the same.... for a moment I felt the flash of the sunrise....but as quickly as it unfolds in the distant sky....so it did inside of me....but I had a moment to remember like a picture postcard....of what I know still can happen inside of me......
A Kiss...so what is it that makes it so significant...to ME...it opened a door that had been shut...I opened enough...just enough to allow what I had been hiding from...Afraid....yes scared...frightened you say...and so have I been...and you frightened me...dazed...lightheaded after a kiss that you don't remember...I walked with weakness...not sure of my step...no not to much to drink...but overwhelmed by emotions that I had sealed away...my blood rushed and my head spinned....it lasted for days...and yet I could not say or know if it was the same for you...it turns out it wasn't ...but I sought for relief...I asked, I talked, I cried to myself, I didn't understand the silence...I needed to know...distraught you say...my desperation in my voice...yes....I couldn't understand the silence...it frightened you...I am so sorry...but only felt what the human body knows...emotion, passion, desire like a flash flood over me...I prayed, I talked, I cried again....I paced....and I walked....ran out of cigarettes...tense...shaking...my nerves on end...and It Was Only One Kiss...and I have to ask myself what is it that lies so still inside of me....that can erupt so intense with just one kiss...lonely, need, belonging...no (wo)man is an island...we don't belong alone...they say it is not healthy...but my solutude I enjoy...so why I ask did you resurrect in me this feeling...wanting, needing, heart pounding...is it from desire, or is it from the fear of pain...hurting...longing...yes I am afraid...I know this...your image I can not discard....imprinted in my mind...your hand extended...singling to me...your fingers tantilizing, tempting,....suggesting....
|
