THE GREAT BIKER SNOW-BALL BATTLE!

It was in the deep of Winter - The sort of Week-end where every-one you know has a bad-case of Cabin Fever. So Uncle Drover and Cousin Ira decided what the club needed was a Week-end house party. They decided to hold it at Cousin ira's house out in the Burbs. Cousin Ira's house was on a dead-end side road off a dead-end side street off the main road. The way cousin Ira's house sat you could see the traffic moving both ways on the main road, but it took a good spread of time before any vehicles could actually reach Cousin Ira's house ... so keeping the peep out for any problems or new comers was an easy call. The stereo was cranked up and the tunes were blasting and every-one was having a fine time and the near-by neighbors were used to a lot of noise come Week-ends, and they didn't really mind because even though the tunes were loud, Ira and the club members never caused any trouble. How the Great Biker Snow-ball Battle really began is not exactly clear. But, what is believed is that some-one just coming into the yard spotted another club member turning in off the main road and hid behind a tree and when the new comer pulled up and got out of their car, the tree hiding would be snow-ball thrower, popped out from behind the tree and began snow-ball pelting the new -comer as a joke. Just then Uncle Drover pulled up in his pick-up truck with a couple more Brothers and they got in on the action. Now the tree hiding snow-ball thrower was begaining to take the worser of the snow-ball scrimmage. Some-one inside the party, looking outside from inside the window caught sight of what was going on out-side popped open the front door and reached down ,scooped up some snow and started tossing it at the snow-ball throwers standing by the cars and trucks. Just then another car full of Brothers and Sisters pulled up and of course they got in on the action too. And of course, every-body's attention was turned toward the snow-ball thrower standing in the front door of the house, a perfectly framed target.

Now snow-balls came flying in, at, around, not to mention actually hitting the poor door framed target. Snow-balls came pelting into the living room. Dan Rather doing the Net-work News on TV caught a snow ball between the eyes. Now a more Saner and Rational mind would have yelled, "Shut the door!," But Cousin Ira was never one to be out-done. "Quick!," he yelled and pushed the couch backwards up against the open-door, thus using the couch to make a shield and baracade. Now, any-one could easily ascertain, though the inside club members had the numbers, the out-side members had the snow. Perhaps differently wired folks would have shut the door, but, Cousin Ira, was not just a differently wired folk. Ira ran to the kitchen and started grabbing pots, pans, buckets and pails, tossing them to Brothers and Sisters and yelling "Quick, out-back ... fill these with snow!" He pointed to Willy and Loco telling them, "Quick out-back, don't let any-body over the fence!" Snow-balls began flying out the front door - Soon the kitchen windows and storm-windows were pushed open and a steady barrage of snow-balls came blasting out of the house.

Uncle Drover catching a near ice-ball in the side of his ear, ducked down behind a fender of his truck ... to think things over. Just then, another car full of Brothers and Sisters pulled up and it looked as if the out-side members, now had the snow and the numbers. In-side, a pile of snow was starting to mount up around the Television set, knick-knacks were starting to be knocked off the walls. Now, a more saner and sereener mind would have called at this point a sieze fire or a sieze snow-balls to be more exact, but Cousin Ira was still one not to be easiiy out-done. "Oh Ya, Drover," ... "You got the snow and the numbers, but I must Have some advantage," " The answer is from above!" Ira thought. "Up-stairs," He pointed, "Up-stairs" and started tossing pots, pans, and pails full of snow to Brothers and Sisters, "Up-stairs!" he called. Up-stairs bedroom windows were pushed open and a snow-storm soon came blizzarding out of the house. Now a steady barrage of snow-balls came pounding down on Uncle Drover and the Brothers and Sisters trying to hide behind the cars and trucks parked in the door-yard. "No-body beats Drover!" Uncle Drover Growled. "What we need here is a three-hundred pound snow-ball," Drover told himself. Now I know you may believe that there is no way any-one can throw a three hundred pound snow-ball -because reality, science and phyics tell us so. But, reality, science and physics also told us that man would never fly and aerodynamically the fuzzy-bumble bee still can't and Uncle Drover was never one to let reality or physics get in his way.

"Weeze?" Uncle Drover Called, "Pull your old Ford wagon over Here!" "You two," Uncle Drover pointed , "Roll me the bottom end of Frosty the Snow-man." They were all still being pelted with snow-balls as Weeze pulled up his old muffler deprivated Ford in front of Uncle Drover and the two great snow-ball makers. "You two guys help me roll this giant snow-ball up on weeze's hood," Uncle Drover ordered. With the bottom end of Frosty the Snow-man sitting on Weeze's hood, Uncle Drover stepped to Weeze's driver's window ... Uncle Drover's hair and ears were covered and frosted with snow ... and snow-balls were clunking and thumping and clacking and wacking off weeze's car's hood, headlights and grill. Like a general in the field, Uncle Drover gave Weeze the command, "Back your wagon up the street, come flying down at the house, and when i give you the command, slam on your brakes." Weeze backed his old Muffler deprived Ford back up the road and came roaring back toward all again, and when Uncle Drover gave the sign, Weeze stood on his brakes! The Ford squeeled toward a stop, and the snow-ball was hurled off the hood, and went barrelling toward the house picking up more snow and momentum as it hit the edge of the yard. The reat snow-ball went slamming into the house ( KA-BAM! ) catching the door-jam and hitting part of the couch, and pushing the couch backwards towards the center living room and knocking the couch right over .. ( THUMP! ) Every-one let out a giant war-hoop including uncle Drover and Cousin Ira.

Now, between the roar of the mufflerless Ford, the Squealing of the brakes, The loud KA-BAM, and the Giant war-hoop, the near by neighbors must have thought those wild-men next door must have plowed one of their cars into the side of the house .. and they weren't really all that far from being right . But sure enough, it was not two seconds later and the blue lights could be seen flashing down the main road on the way to the side road .. heading toward Cousin ira's house . Every-body scrurried for the inside of the house and the safety of the telephone just in-case lawyers and bondsmen needed to be called. The patrol car pulled up in front of the house with the blue lights flashing ... sat there for a few moments with the blue lights flashing, and then drove away, with the blue lights still flashing. inside the house a truce was called, the stereo was cranked up a little bit higher, and the history of the Great Biker Snow-ball Battle was written.

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