My Three Year Anniversary Commemorative Writing. Januaey 2002

It was in January of 1999 that
I was informed of an apparent reversal of opinion from the Social Security administration.

In September of 1998, I was awarded an arearage payment (approx. $22,000) for the previous ten years. Apparently I had been underpaid for ten years. I was concerned greatly at such a large sum appearing in my Bank account without any explaination or correspnding letter from Social Security.

Congressman Smith's office looked into the matter for me and this "lump sum" was confirmed as a just payment. He had Social Securty send me a letter of explaination.

In January of 1999, just four months later, I started receiving very intense and emotionally driven phone calls from Social Security.

It seems their perspective had changed and that now, I had made too much money during my after college work effort ten years before (in 1989). This means that I was not disabled in 1989 according to the "rules". Thus I owe them for all the benefits I'd received in the years since 1989. In round numbers, 93.000 dollars, thats about ten years of benefits.

So, of course, as Congressman Smith's people had looked into the previously mentioned 22,000 dollars for me and assured me everything was "square" I felt it would be simple to contact the congressional office and get this reversal straightened out.

However the information from Smith's office had carried no sincerity. Smith's people changed their minds to go along with the new opinion. I was not underpaid for ten years after all. Now the effects of the oversight was to charge me for ten years of benefits: 93,000 dollars. (approx.)

The messenger type service that the congressional office provided was meaningless and useless. Everybody loves the congressman. He's very popular. It's probably his office help who I am irritated with more then our Congressman himself, who certainly sees himself as more then a messenger boy. I felt very betrayed because I expected the information given to the congressman was supposed to carry significant weight.

I worked as a substitue teacher. The work was without benefits and was available on a daily basis. My work was sporadic, And of course I had the summers work free. It was very suited to the circumstances of my disability. The problem as it was told me was not the behavior of working but that the income was too high.

With Social Security, and the congressman's office both telling me to sign a re-applcation for benefits against my judgement and my perspective that I had already been through ten years of underpayments I decided to hire a lawyer.

My "condition" had not improved and I had continued to receive doctor's care after that period of work. Clearly their perspective on this matter lacked human understanding. There must have been a more humane way to address this situation.

If this was addressed at the time none of these extreme financal statements would be happening, I believed that the sane and logical way to approach it was to redo the arithmetic and find that for certain months I was overpaid and shuffle the money around some more and come up with a more rational idea then stopping my benefits and declaring me responsible for a 93,000 dollar debt.

Afterall....we are talking about a 93,000 dollar debit while my disability has never been directly questioned. They failled to provide me with my just benefits because they didn't review my file in over ten years. Whatever I may be respomsible for it is certainly not the prepsterous sum of 93,000 dollars.

So,of course,I wanted something that sounded a little more sane. Something like the original agreement which we all agreed upon just a few months before according to the correspomdance. That was a sane and humane way of dealing with the events of 1989.

I deceided to get a lawyer.
Because I disagreed with these new conclusions. So I gave my lawyer the copy of the appeal/reconsideration, or whatver they call it, and believed the matter was in her hands. She would correct this clearly faulted approach. However she did nothing, apparently. The reconsideration of their finding was never filed ,I discovered, when seven months later in October of 99 my benefits were stopped.

So then....my lawyer said the important thing is to get my benefits reinstated. I thought there was wisdom to this approach. It was under extreme financial duress and frustration that I begrudgingly signed the re-application for benefits dated 1990 like they wanted. After all the congressman's people, the social security office and now my own lawyer were all in chorus. No problem. Benefits would be turned back on in a few months.

Shortly afterwards I received a bill for 93,000 dollars stating my old age benefits would be withheld unless I paid up. But as soon as I was put back on disability in 1990 (pre-dated application), the 93,000 dollars would dissappear. This was what I was told.

In the summer of 2000 while living in an abadoned building I received word my application was denied. Their Doctor said I was disabled when I went for my evaluation.
He stopped me at the door to reassure me and his written evaluation says the same thing. It was denied anyway.

This rejection occurred in June or July of 2000 and contradicted the opinion of the evaluation doctor they had sent me to.

I'm a vietnam veteran and a senior citizen.
I had been receiving psychiatric disability for over twenty years. Because of this problem I had lost the material accumulations of a lifetime and artifacts from my parents, grandparents and great grandparents and was living in empty buildings at this point. EVERYONE knew and agreed that I am indeed disabled while this little hot potatoe game with 93,000 dollars is going on.

This is the service the Social Security Administration has provided in delivering my social security benefits, which is their job. They bow to some paperwork god and ignore the reality of the person and actual facts.

And of course I personally preferred the first decision the congressman agreed with,I had been denied my just benefits for ten years because of an oversight. But now I am responsible for the oversight. I liked it better when it was their fault, of course.

So my lawyer felt we should make another appeal and make it fail as quick as possible so we could get to an administrative law judge.
I went along with this idea.

After realizing the extreme bleakness of my future, and that I would lose the rest of everything I had until I was into a backpack and at soup kitchens for food before this would be resolved, I changed my mind.

I decided that being as she didn't contest the original finding (Thats why I went to her) and because her tactics don't seem to work that I should get a lawyer in whom I could feel confidence and that I would try to win each appeal.Time, suddenly. didn't matter. I could see I had lost my "life" already. I felt what was important was to not miss a chance to reclaim my just benefits.

So I fired my lawyer and set out in search of another. This was in late summer of 2000.

Lawyers don't seem to want to take a case where another lawyer had worked apparently.
I explained, to questioning, that if your lawyer does not inspire confidence and does not do what you hired them for, that any rational man would change lawyers. Several lawyers refused to handle my appeals. I tried to find a lawyer.

In the Interim I asked for, and received, support from many of my friends to write letters to congressman Smith's office.
I felt the communication problem I was having with them could be corrected with a demonstration of concern by other people. Perhaps their perspective would become a little more sympathetic.
It was all like screaming into a void.

Nevertheless....I did receive a response from the congressman's office concerning this 93,000 dollar deficit in my social security account. They spoke in this correspondance as if totally unaware of my situation. Nevertheless..an inquiry is an inquiry. My hopes were buoyed.

The reponse of the inquiry was a copy of a letter sent by the local Social Security office to Congressman Smith's office and then forwarded to me. It stated the facts (I refute the interpretation of these facts) and that no intent to collect will be made until it is resolved in court, with the Administrative Law Judge.. The congressman's office declared it to be self explanatory. I didn't think so at all.

My fired lawyer then submitted the planned to fail appeal as a rush job was put on my appeal and assumed it was ethical, being as I was still unable to find a lawyer willing to help me.
Social Secuity contacted her directly and I was informed after the fact this was done.

My second appeal was then rejected with no time lost at all thanks to the intercession of Smith's congressionl office. And the "plan to fail" approach of my fired lawyer was submtted against my wishes and it went through very fast. I was informed after the fact of the congressional office's accellerating the appeal process and the procurrment of my designed to fail appeal. Thats what congessional help did for me the second time.

During this period I was living in the woods and using a stream as a bath tub. And watching as piece by piece all of my material circumstances were disintergrating further. Slowly and irretrievable my life's circumstances were disolving. I was a frequent visitor to the emergency room with anxiety. I could not fully understand what was happening to me or why.

I am uncertain as to exactly how long or when I was presented with the specifics of the problem. I am certain it was very difficult to find out and my lawyer had not been helpful. It was terrible not knowing what I had supposedly done.

During an appointment at Social Security I was shown some paperwork which showed I had worked for part of 87, 88, and 89 when I passed an earning limit.

I was working as a substitute teacher.
There were no benefits and work was sporadic. The daily pay however was good.
The problem was not how much I worked but what I had earned.

Then unfortunately, I had continued working sporadically until the spring of 92 .

Papers I saw during the appointment gave me an a.k.a (Also Known As) of Brody. I went to several different districts depending on where, and if, there was need of a sub-teacher. The earning records do not correspond to my recollections. But being as the earning limit was three hundred a month at that time I'm sure I surpassed a limit somewhere along the line.

After I was taken to the emergency room from one class assignment (anxiety) I realized I was still indeed disabled and unable to work. And according to my recollectons, I did inform them of my working shortly afterwards.

And being as the weekly breakdown of my earnings were no longer available after all this time I had no way of findng out if I had earned a lot in one month over the limit and not enough during other months.

They divided the total year income by 12..or nine...I forget now........and declared it was for all twelve months I had earned "over the limit". That doesn't provide the correct answer to the question "How meny months has he fullfilled the term meaningful and substantial work".

Any sub teacher knows how few work days are available to them in November and December due to the Holidays and teacher conferences. My work was sporadic anyway due to regular teachers not being absent and to my irregular efforts.

I was informed they ask your employers about how you are performing on the job.
I felt this might have been a problem with my inability to hold a job. After all once the state calls the boss and inquires how the "mental patient" is doing, your popularity does not sky rocket in the job market.

After being unable to find work in my field, this was my after college work effort to get off disability. I'm not sure if I wanted it to succed in the manner in which it apparently had..

I did not tell S.S immediately that I was working. But I did inform them. I can remember exactly where I was standing with the portable phone and the conversation with the clerk. Once I took the ambulance ride....I told them. After all it was the end for my hopes of returnng to the workforce.

I did not work as Brody however. My two year degree from the community college focused on computers. Would someone who studied computers use a variation of their last name to "hide"? The obvious path to hide your work would be to exchange your social security number "7"s for "9"s so the information wouldn't readily come up on a search. It would be stupid to hide your work by changing Brady to Brody, for example, according to my understanding.

Nevertheless....
In the turmoil of multiple address changes, phone number changes and sleeping on couches and various other degrading circmstances I may have lost the paperwork and due to my life's turmoil was unable to address this concern along with several other concerns. I was in extreme distress because of this and the turmoil in my life circumstances made getting things done very difficult for me.

I found a lawyer willing to represent me in late October of 2000. He said maybe we could get to court by december. But at least by March. We got there in June of 2001. And I was granted a "fully favorable decision" to quote the notification papers.

I had been living in a welfare motel since March before this and was very happy to know things had finally resolved. I only had to wait three more months for the paperwork to go through.

In October of 2001, I received my first Social Security benefit check after two years of waiting. It was half, approximately, of what I had been receiving the previous 20 some odd years.

It made me ineligible for welfare. I had to leave the Welfare Motel immediately. Any post due money was held up until welfare and my lawyer received their piece of the pie. I was left standing on the shoulder of Route 130 with about 400 dollars in my hand. I had no "lump sum" with which to get reestablished. My foodstamps were reduced to near nothing. I was without shelter. Cold weather was starting. I was in a worse situation then I was before the "Fully Favorable Decision". In fact it was the worse situation of this entire nightmare.
Route 130 is a very cold and lonesome highway in October.

I spoke with a person on the phone at social security and was told the lump sum was being delayed until the lawyer and welfare took their money. And that I would get more then the 480 (approx) later on when it was all figured out.

There was a notice saying if I wanted to appeal the decision or the award I had ninety days to file.

I filed in November requesting an informal hearing. I was told I would be contacted in three months.

At the end of February I went down to social security and explained that three months ago I filed an appeal of an award and had heard nothing. I found out "somework" had been done with it on the 28th which was the day before but she did not know what.

I also asked about the disbursement of the lump sum because I had heard nothing from them. She told me I would hear within two weeks. At the end of the two weeks I received, again, the only letter I had received since October which simply states how much I get each month. Of course this is woefully lacking in explaination. I received no word on my Informal hearing.

I am trying to find out why the award was half of what I had been getting for 20 some odd years. I am trying to find out what happened to the past due monies from the judgement.

My lawyer wrote a letter asking why I was receiving half (approx) of what I had received for the past 20 years. He did not receive an answer. He told me he would write to Maryland and attemp to get the informationon concerning the disbursement from there.

I have been trying to find out what has happened since October. It is now late March. Obviously, it is very difficult for me to get a straight answer.

The judge in his "fully favorale decision" put me back on Social Security in late June 2001 in June of 1999. Which was/is four months before they put me off in 1989 in October of 99. According to my figuring this means I was never taken off in 1989 in October of 99.

This "figgering" reflects their previous logic. I was awarded ten years of underpayments then in four months time they went back to 1989 and presented me with an unresolvable bill for both the underpayment and all of my benefits in the intervenng 10 years.

I'm no lawyer but I was put back on Social Security before I was taken off with my fully favorable judgement. Just as happened previously in 1989 when they gave me my 22,000 dollar underpayment and then went back before that to replace that decsion...... If they can do time travel and it counts then why doesn't the time travel the judge did count? That would make the 93,000 go back into the black and reinstate my original benefits.

Of course until I can get them to explain what they have done to my account this is all conjecture.


Its all this "time travel" and going back and forth correcting things which is really and truely driving me bonkers.
It has also destroyed my life as I had known it. I am greatly disturbed by it.

If I was over paid for a number of months over ten years ago I am willing to address that.

I am not so willing to confirm that there is 93,000 dollars "missing", a statisically significant amout which will effect management information systems and policy in the future. It will work to the detriment of all who rely on the system. It is a debit against the social security system itself.
It is, effectively, taxpayers' money which had/has(?) been thrown in the waste basket.

In my opinion and "once upon a time" the opinion of congressman Smith's people and the opiion of Social Security (once upon a time) the sane and humane way to correct the error is to provide me with the ten years of underpayments which they had done. If they have discovered some other financial oversight then we should address that.

NO ONE has ever questioned or denied that I am disabled.

I want my just benefits back.
I have been homeless over the years this issue has gone on.
I currently live in an apartment that is being renovated. Because of the ongoing renovation the rent is greatly reducd. I this were not so I would be sleeping in the woods.
For now I'm safe.
I am 55 years old.
I spent 14 months in Germany and a year in Vietnam.
No one can help me.

This is my story as of March 25th,2002.