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A COLLECTION OF BUMPERSTICKERS Horn broken, Watch for finger. All generalisations are false. Cover me, I'm changing lanes. I brake for no apparent reason. Learn from your parents mistakes. Use birth control. I'm not as think as you drunk I am. Forget about world peace. Visualise using your turn signal. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart? It is as bad as you think, and they are out to get you. Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. I love cats. They taste just like chicken. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. Born free. Taxed to death. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck. Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician. Woman who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. Sorry I don't date outside my species. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. OK, who stopped payment on my reality check? I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Pride is what we have.Vanity is what others have. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. How can I miss you if you won't go away? We were borned naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse. Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes. Consciousness: That annoying time between sleeps. i souport publik edekashun. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Keep honking. I'm reloading.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. "Chili's a lot like sex: When it's good it's great, and even when it's bad, it's not so bad." Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. Life is sexually transmitted Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard There are two types of pedestrians...the quick and the dead Don't blame me. I'm only doing what my Rice Crispies told me to do. My kid beat up your honor student Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR" If a man is talking in the woods, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? If only men could be as satisfying as chocolate Skydivers: Good to the last drop The grass is always greener on TV Smile and the world audits your taxes. If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist. Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have. Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. He who hesitates is probably right. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. My REALITY CHECK Bounced. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. The other day I saw a rabbit in the forest in front of a candle making pictures of humans on a tree. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?

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