Christmas in the West
Humor in Arizona
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QUESTIONS ASKED BY WINTER VISITORS -
AND
SOMETIMES ANSWERED BY ARIZONIANS
UNDER THE ARIZONA SUN
CopyrightŪ2000eurosweetheart
All Rights reserved
This material has been given to us by the employees of one of the largest Christmas Stores in the West and are actual questions, answers and comments made within this Christmas Shop.
You might also keep in mind, that this Shop is literally draped in Ornaments that are hanging from the ceilings, on the walls and on many trees.
Lady entering the front door of this Christmas Shop and just being told that there are 4 suites of Christmas from all over Europe.
" I don't know if I can find what I want, are you the only Christmas Shop around?"
A Lady from North Dakota:
"Does it snow here?"
Store Clerk: "No"
Lady: "Well, I really like the REAL CHRISTMAS better."
Store Clerk: "The REAL CHRISTMAS was in Bethlehem and it has the same climate as ours."
A gentleman from New York:
"Do you have a non-Christian Nativity?"
Store Clerk: "Never heard of such a thing!"
Gentleman: "You really should keep better informed, so that you may be able to answer your customers properly!"
A Lady from Denver:
"Am I in the right place?"
Clerk: "Depends what place you wanted to go to!"
Lady: "Yeah, that's right! - But am I in the right place?"
Clerk: "I really don't know!"
Lady from Alaska:
"Do you still have the same thing you had ten years ago?"
Clerk: "Depends what thing you are talking about."
Lady: "Oh,Oh, - there it is, I thought about it for 10 years and I could have kicked myself for not buying it than."
Lady from Ohio:
"Is this STUFF all made in Europe?"
Clerk: "Yes!"
Lady: "But, how do you get it here?"
Clerk: "By Plane or Ship."
Lady: " Oh, that's unique!"
Lady from Oklahoma:
"Have you made these things all yourself?"
Clerk: Wishes she could answer: "Yes, in my spare time!"
Lady from Alabama:
(taping hard on one of the precious glass ornaments with her long fingernails).
"Is this breakable?"
Clerk: "It is mouthblown glass!"
Lady: "Yeah, but is it breakable?"
Clerk: "I think Glass usually is!"
Lady from Utah:
"Is this also made in Europe?"
Clerk: "No, this is made in the United States."
Lady: "Oh, gee," said the Lady disappointed "I thought it was made somewhere like Pennsylvania!"
A Gentleman from Maryland:
"Do you have any stick trees?"
Clerk looked Puzzled.
Gentleman: You know the stick trees you see all over here in Arizona.
Clerk (still confused and puzzled): "Do you by any chance mean our Saguaro-Cactus?"
Gentlemen: "Does it have arms?"
Clerk: "Yes!"
Gentleman: "Well, than that's it!"
Lady from Kansas:
"Do you have any Ornament that is less than $ 5.00 ?"
Clerk: "Yes, as low as $ 1.00 a piece."
Lady: "You know, it is just for my neighbor that is taking care of my cat while I am away!"
Lady from Michigan:
"I've just arrived, this is my first day in Arizona!"
Clerk: "Welcome, hope you like it here!"
Lady: "Actually I was looking for Windmills!"
Clerk: "That is not the right place, Windmills are in Holland, however we have Windmill Ornaments!"
(But what the Lady actually was looking for were Christmas Pyramids made in Germany)
An elderly couple from North Carolina entering the Store:
Clerk: "Welcome to Arizona!"
Lady: (looking at a mass of ornaments all around her) Where are your Ornaments?"
Clerk: "All around and above you!"
Lady: "Oh, now I see!"
HOW DO YOU LIKE THE FOLLOWING COMMENT IN THESE SURROUNDINGS ?
One Lady to another after walking through the isles for some time:
"Do you see anything?"
A Gentleman from Boston: (looking at a clerk that was counting) "Do you have to do Inventory here?"
Clerk: "Yes, the U.S.Government is still undecided if they should exempt Arizona or not!"
A Gentleman from Texas (just entering the store):
"Oh, where we come from in Dallas, we have a much larger store there."
Clerk: "(kind of under her breath) Didn't expect any different!"
Lady from California:
"What do you have that is different from other stores? - Show me!"
Lady from New Hampshire:
"Usually I go to a Christmas Shop and know exactly what I want, but here - I'll have to come back, there is too much to choose from!"
Gentleman from North Dakota:
"Do you celebrate Christmas here too?"
Clerk: "I think so!"
Gentleman from Minnesota:
"Is this all for the Tourist or do you decorate here too?"
Clerk: "Where are you from, Sir?"
Gentleman: "Minnesota!"
Clerk: "Yes Sir, even Arizonians decorate for Christmas."
It's easy!Just look, this is how we do it!
Husband and Wife from South Dakota:
(Husband shows Wife a Christmas Book with beautiful illustrations) "Wouldn't this be a wonderful book to have for Christmas?"
Wife:
"Oh, no - too many words!"
Lady on the Telephone:
" I have just arrived here, is this the place I am suppose to shop at?"
Well, what can you say?Yes!
Clerk hearing a strange conversation between two ladies:
First Lady: "Do you have a Christmas thing?"
Second Lady: "What kind of thing?"
First Lady: "A Christmas thing!"
A Lady standing in front of shelfs containing hundreds of Nutcrackers:
"Where are your Nutcrackers?"
Clerk: "In front and all around you!"
Lady: "But where is the nutcracker I want?"
Clerk: "I don't know which one you want!"
Lady: "But you are suppose to help me!"
The young clerk gave up and turned the problem over to a more experienced clerk.
THIS MUST BE HIM !
NO ? MAYBE THIS ONE ?
OR IS THIS HIM ?
Yes, I am pretty sure now! This is him!
Lady from Iowa:
"Do you celebrate Christmas here in Arizona?"
The Clerk just smiles, but wishes she could say:
" No, we're all heathens here!"
Gentleman from North Carolina:
"Do you have Christmas trees here in Arizona?"
Clerk (smiling):
"Oh, no! We stack tumbleweeds and hang our ornaments on them!"
A Group of visitors in from Pennsylvania and noting a Nativity displayed at the front of the store. They start laughing and giggling amongst themselves.
Wondering what amused them so much the store clerk politely asked them what they found so funny. They answered: "This Nativity has Palm trees!"
The store clerk somewhat puzzled asked: "What is so amusing about that?"
"Well", they replied, "Who has ever heard of a Nativity with palm trees?"
The store clerk smiled and quietly said:
"It's just like the original... sand and palm trees."
"The original? Where?" they asked blinking.
"In Bethlehem." The clerk replied.
"Oh, yeah. I guess so. I never thought of it that way.?"
The sign on the outside of the store reads: EUROPEAN CHRISTMAS MARKET.
Two ladies enter and, as they walk through the isles one says to the other: "What is this? It looks all foreign to me!"
March 23rd 2000:
Gentlemen entering the Store and picks up the first thing in sight, a book?"
Turning to the Clerk who welcoms him:
"Do you also carry Ornaments?"
The Clerk was absolutely speechless, since she had a basket and hands full of ornaments that had just arrived and she was hanging up.
Here is a new one for you, September 3, 2000,
A young lady, from not very far away, stopped the owner of the shop who has a definate German accent, and said: "How come you say DEUTSCHLAND and we say GERMANY?"
The owner looked a little befuddled and answered kindly: "Well, one word is in english and the other in german language!"
"Well, this does not make any sense!" meant the young lady, "we should all say it the same way!"
Well, what can you say to that?
October 4, 2000
A Couple from California entered the shop.
The clerk finished her greeting with: "In the four rooms you'll find a little of every European Country!" "Well than", the woman asked "do you have anything from JAPAN?" "I am afraid not , mam," the clerk replied, "we are the EUROPEAN!"
Well, it is proof again, that all of us have a tendency, every once-in-a-while, to speak without thinking.
Hope to see you again real soon! Until then,
God Bless You!
Don't leave before you visit our TWO most favorite LINKS!
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Comment? Question? Here is your chance!
Ring the doorbell here and talk to me! Afterwards we will run over to the CHRISTMAS WONDERLAND IN ARIZONA and to the EUROPEAN CHRISTMAS MARKET!
