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by r a reno The fishnets zigzagged like broken zippers up her calves and thighs after a long night of standing her loveless street corner vainly waiting for love or death to free her soul from cocaine and prostitution. Watching from a distance the cab driver sorrowed for her but bound in his own mobile hell he ignored her while making his weary rounds ferrying drunks and soldiers. Walking home slumped in fatigue he passes her once again and waves she smiles and sighs thinking of yet another stolen line from a poem. AceŠ8-10-2001 |
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whittling the dead, dirty skin from my feet with a knife long as my arm, careful not to cut living skin or to stab myself fatally. a storm of cigarette smoke clouds my vision making me think of loves I've forsaken but never truly forgotten. through no fault of my own i didn't die but continue my existence loved but feeling ever alone and sick at heart. smile for me, my memories, that's all I ever dared ask. smile for me my lady so I'll know I'm not alone, unloved. AceŠ3-29-2001 fearing the night by r a reno I'm dyeing more than usual, oxygen attached to my nose and 14 medications a day to make sure I keep breathing. damn those cigarettes faithful companions of many lonely hours, how dare they take me from me and the whiskey quit working long ago. all that's left is love I'm so scared of that Endless Night. AceŠ6-14-2001 |
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E-mail message Finding Indifference by r a reno Awaken face down on a bed of sand kick the chair you were sitting in only to find it's already suffered a failure of tensile strength. Spit the sand from your mouth and dig it from your nose and ear brush it haphazardly from your hair and clothing onto an already filthy carpet covered kitchen floor. Smile sheepishly when asked if you enjoyed your sleep aand rush to shower from an ancient plastic fixture in a wobbly ill-repaired stall. Face another day alone dreaming of love and finding only indifference or even outright hostility in a warm late summer way. AceŠ3-22-2001 |
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by r a reno lay on a table inside a machine with radioactive blood pumping through your veins showing images of ejecta from your heart on a screen seen only by an intern. a research scientist and a nurse dragooned there by her boss. It wasn't like everyone says no sudden attack just terribly unable to breathe the words won't come go where I want them fingers reach the pen which glides words on the paper and my sanity slides round my edges finding, if anything, I've lost the edges which define my bounds, the edges of sanity I've sharpened in defence of my own life styles AceŠ3-3-2001 Insulted by r a reno down at the old theatre I gathered my pencils together after writing yet one more free verse saga about love or alcohol. I could rhyme and use words purloined from a lexicon but to what purpose... academia is not who I write to, truth be told, I write to me. don't you dare look down that pretentious nose at me. what qualifies you as a critic anyway? what contests have you won? have you been published? vindicated in my judgement I turn back to study of the world wide web trying to swallow it whole not succeeding but still learning. AceŠ2-17-2001 cleanse a dream by r a reno all my fantasies of you wear pretty and petite spectacles. sparkling auburn hair tossed in circular array on satin entangled sheets, pillows shed and forgotten. green candles flickering low and soft shadows dancing patterns of gray. your smile inviting me again beside you, amusement in those eyes saying welcome and desire, alabaster skin tinged with rosy exertion satisfied. shake the sleep from my weary brain, grab my mop and cleanse away this fanciful dream of you. AceŠ2-4-2001 |
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by r a reno work was good chores flew by in a rush made easier by familiarity, sweep there, mop here, scrape this and scrub that. outside to the car a quarter hour late, thinking only of home and warmth I turned the key while it tried to run a few times the battery ran down before it would stay running. agonized, sad, and angry I snatched up my box of foodstuffs and slammed the door crunching across an icy lot headed for the street. plodding northward into the frozen breeze I calm enough to remember the gloves I have and don them against the chill snatches of doggerel running through my weary brain; shotgun shells Batman smells Robin laid an egg... Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose, because he drank a fifth a day and that's the way it goes... I'm dreaming of a blue christmas just like the ones i've always known where tear drops glisten and children listen to see if daddy's really drunk again... wondering aloud to the frosty morning wind why I hadn't worn my hat and muffler fashion be damned, it's cold out here! (6° I later found) some lonesome dog, blocks away, franticly protesting my intrusion of his hearing range while a few early goers drove by not slowing on their way to Mass. finally I turned the corner on my home street spying the warm yellow light of home and stumbling inside to awaited warmth and a hug and kiss of welcome home no matter how I got there. AceŠ12-25-2000 Someday by r a reno A doorless room, things are brought- a dirty hat- money and dreams- plastic rock- dead cigarettes- Coca-colaŽ- pale green plant- (water me you fool)- hairy brushes- my nose- maybe you, someday. AceŠ1-20-2001 a farewell kiss by r a reno pictures don't fade on the net lost misplaced deleted sometimes but never fade memories are that way some of them certain vivid ones don't fade they stay clear and sharp your hair your lips the tasty curve of your thighs the taste of the salt in the mist the feel of wet sand in my sandals the lingering taste of of a farewell kiss seeing you say I love you as I went away home AceŠ12-6-2000 |
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by r a reno the antelope danced on a concrete playground her antlers entwined in high voltage power lines no longer graceful but jittering and sad as her flesh roasted on her crackling bones and the children screamed and cried to see such a thing at 9 in the morning where they went to play. AceŠ11-4-2000 Truth by r a reno I cloaked myself in righteous armor with links of scripture lashing out against any who don't travel my Path to Truth. Forgetting that even the best of armor has flaws and Truth is a relative thing. The Truth is a quagmire with Man interpreting as he wills all reason and sense adrift. No longer cloaked, I stand alone seeking facts not happy with any interpretation, bits and pieces ring True. AceŠ11-27-2000 for always by r a reno stare towards a distance unattainable a mile i've seen before that turns my soul to mush a body that draws me still to embraces warm and sweet to touches electric... Oh I've found a touch as nice a kiss as dear, one I can keep and not see as occasional. I'll hold what i have she needs me in a way you never did, today and forever not at a whim but for always. AceŠ7-14-2000 in the dark by r a reno dark windswept alone another highway another time kiss me love me hold me alone in the dark. AceŠ7-14-2000 an air of faith by r a reno sigh forth another love song a trill of desire and an air of faith. you love me this is so plain to see yet hard to hear. when i write of another still you stay by my side quietly stating forever. I love. Hell you know I love never doubt I love, You won. despite the worst you've stayed, stalwart and true, my love as well as lover. AceŠ7-14-2000 Crimson Swellings by r a reno you said hi with ice blue eyes over a warm vodka soaked crimson swelling wrist a bandaid I asked but in your eyes you laughed and promised me what you had of you. rape's a cruel word that sadly fit what that monster forced of you I loved you (or so I thought I could handle) that poor baby bears my name I love you more in my memory than i ever tried to then rage hurt alone poor child having a child at 14 was more cruel than even those things I said and did our babies still weep for lack of us our fates asunder damn this pain we and they deserved better AceŠ8-12-2000 old photographs by r a reno your bared beasts stare from a photogrph near old as me taunting me with a youth you had and that i shall never see my desire mounting so out of time out of sync diaphonous gowns barely covering sex i've experienced wanting so bad needing your touch desiring your love wishing these pictures were taken for me instead of a sailor long sent away. AceŠ7-2-2000 no promises by r a reno you wouldn't believe them anyway I've lied so often it seems second nature I'll always enjoy too much imbibe so very much until the fun is gone or the money or my life i suppose there's no stop to my start no end to beginnings. so here's to 100 proof smiles that haunt my everyday subsistance and here's to you. I love you and wish i could always be who you wanted. AceŠ7-2-2000 |
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