|
Blond TymeQ - Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A - To see what was on the other side. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces." Q - How do you change a blonde's mind? A - Buy her another beer. Q - How do blonde brain cells die ? A - Alone. Q - How do you get a blonde to marry you? A - Tell her she's pregnant. Q - What will she ask you? A - "Is it mine?" Q - How does a blond kill a fish? A - She drowns it. Q - How does a blonde hold her liquor? A - By the ears. Q - What do a blonde and your computer have in common? A - You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you. Q - How does a blonde moonwalk? A - She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor! Q - Why are blondes so easy to get into bed? A - Who cares? Q - Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room? A - They have to pull their own pants down. Q - Why don't blondes like anal sex? A - They don't like their brains being screwed with. Q - What do you get when you turn two blondes upside-down? A - Two brunettes. Q - What do you give the blonde that has everything? A - Penicillin. Q - What do blondes do for foreplay? A - Remove their underwear. Q - What's the mating call of the blonde? A - "I'm *sooo* drunk!" Q - What's the mating call of the redhead? A - "Next!" Q - Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A - The rest are hunt 'n' peckers. Q - Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ?? A - She thought it was pregnant because it missed a period. Q - Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home? A - It took her that long to discover that a 14-inch Viking was a television. Q - Why did the blonde with a big pussy douche with Crest? A - She heard that it reduces cavities. Q - Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex? A - She wanted to have her cock and eat it too. Q - Why did the blonde smile when she walked down the marriage aisle? A - She realized she gave her last blowjob. |
|
Blonde Q & A1.Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? (You have to hollow out the head.) 2. Why won't they hire blondes as pharmacists? (They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.) 3. Hear about the blonde that got an AM-radio? (It took her a month to realize she could play it in the afternoon.) 4. What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? (They drowned during Spring Training.) 5. Why are Orientals so smart? (No blondes.) 6. How did the blonde die drinking milk? (The cow stepped on her.) 7. How did the blonde burn her nose? (Bobbing for French fries.) 8. Why do blondes have more fun? (They're easier to amuse.) 9. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? (Frosted flakes.) 10. Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? (They keep breaking them with their hammers.) 11. Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow into the air? (She missed.) 12. What is it called when a blonde blows into another blonde's ear? (Data transfer.) 13. Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children? (Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.) 14. Why did the blonde put make-up on her forehead? (She wanted everyone to know that she was able to make up her mind.) 15. Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs? (She needed them for the darkroom she was building.) 16. What is the biggest advantage to marrying a blonde? (You get to park in the Handicapped Zone.) |
|
Blonde ExamThe blonde reports for her university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for Heads and "No" for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour. So I'm rechecking my answers." |
:-(/
Another Blond JokeA blind man and his guide dog enter a Bar and find their way to a bar stool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for awhile, the blind guy yells to the bartender. "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy pauses and then says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." |
|
Natural BlondeA woman walks into the doctor's office and says: "Doctor I hurt all over." And the doctor says, "That's impossible." "No really!" she said, "Just look, when I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch! It hurts. When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts. When I touch my chest, ouch! It really hurts, she replies." The doctor just shakes his head and says, "You're a natural blonde aren't you?" The woman smiles and says "Why yes I am. How did you know?" The doctor replies, "Because, it's your finger that's broken." |
:-(/
Blonde Q. & A. IIQ - Why was the blonde's belly button sore? A - Because her boyfriend was blonde too. Q - Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? A - From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK". Q - Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper? A - So she could lip read. Q - Why did the blonde stop using the pill? A - Because it kept falling out. Q - What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A - "Oh look! Donut seeds!" Q - What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH? A - A blonde going through a flashing red light. |
|
One Brunette and Eleven BlondesThere is a brunette and eleven blondes hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope would break if one of them didn't let go and they would all fall to their deaths. The Brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself for the others. At the end of the speech the blondes all clap. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
||
| previous page |
|
next page |
|
|
||