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A funeral presents an interesting opportunity to observe a gathering of a variety of people who will probably never be under the same roof together again. The only thing many of them have in common, is their connection to the "guest of honor."
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If you are uncomfortable about an open casket, sit behind someone tall enough to block your view.
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When the service is over, if you don't want to view the casket, skip that part when you get to the front of the line, and go directly to the family.
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You don't have to say anything to the family. Just take their hand a minute, or give them a hug, to let them know you were there and you care.
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It's better to say nothing, than to say something stupid.
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If you were the not-so-secret lover of the deceased, do the family a favor and choose a private time for your visit. Like at the viewing the day before, or after the graveside services are over and everyone has left. If you were not seeing him openly before, now is not a good time to begin.
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The most awkward moment at a funeral can be the invitation for anyone at the gathering to stand up and say something about the deceased... and nobody does.
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If you have anything at all you could possibly say about that person -- nothing negative -- do it! How you met them, how long you have known them or the family, what influence they may have had on you, or a favor they did for you, anything! A good funny story would break the tension.
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Being the first to speak is often the easiest time to do it. Then others may be encouraged to add something. It's usually the best part of a service -- the funniest and the most moving.
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If you begin to cry when you are speaking, don't apologize and don't give in to it, just keep going.
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If you didn't take the opportunity to speak at the funeral, try to find a moment with a family member at the gathering afterwards, to share your personal remembrance. Like what you admired about the person. Something nice.
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Something you can share about the deceased: This is something to be thinking about ahead of time, while you are getting ready to go, when there are fewer distractions.
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Even if you think you don't want to go, you will be glad you did.
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If everyone is invited to the reception after the funeral, go to that too. This is often the best part.
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You will usually leave a funeral -- and especially the gathering afterward -- knowing more about that person than you ever did when he or she was alive.
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If there is drinking going on, you may get to witness a family feud.
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