Excuse me while I eat this box of candy It happened on this date My one, my only, my fated love Who I wanted to be everything for My soulmate, my angel, my tainted love Part of my happily ever after no more It happened on this date Excuse me as I put away this cupcake And the ink that cries off the calendar Will the perfect frosting make [Chorus:] Misery loves company So the world's invited to my Posthumous anniversary I dye my hair jet black today So my dark dark clothes look like they're celebrating Posthumous anniversary I need to count the passing days So I can still somehow count on you So I can still somehow be dating you Posthumous anniversary Of the endless love that ended Don't bother to call To remind me of it all Just pass me another bon-bon It's all I have to fulfill me now that you're (dare I say it?) gone, gone, gone, gone 365 days a year I cried 300 tears Except that happy day I cried only 283 Take me back in time so I can take my life yesterday And I may die happily (with you still with me) It happened on this date When is that double pepperoni gonna get here? When you once told me you'd be with me always Does this mean I'll sink this low every year Every posthumous anniversary I lost 20 pounds these last two months Because I knew I'd gain 30 this week Don't say another word All you've ever said has been absurd (like "I'll love you always") Just get me a sundae this Monday or get out [Chorus repeats] I dye my hair jet black today so my dark dark clothes look like they're celebrating At least I'm older, at least I'm wiser At the least I'll grow colder, I'll be a miser I'll have another taco salad But not another posthumous anniversary Just leave me alone, just leave me alone (You're good at that, aren't you?) Leave me alone, like you've done before So you don't see me broken like this over you Leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone Alone, alone So alone I'm alone All alone Chocolate kiss me and make it butter

Commentary Until i read this for the first time in years as i was looking over old songs, i forgot just how much i loved this one! Lots of classic lines that i adore ("Get me a sundae this Monday or get out", "365 days a year I cried 300 tears except that happy day I only cried 283"). As was typical for me at the time, this took my usual food motif to an extreme and it also enabled me to really explore the idea i loved at the time (well - still do!) of mixing the tragic with the comic and doing something really dark and combine it with a total tongue-in-cheek humor. Musically, there would be a legato intro but then it would morph into an upbeat sounding dancy song with a heavy stomping beat. The idea of course being observing the anniversary of when a relationship breaks up. Not that you want to but you just know it's on this date so what does one do when they're aware of it? Eat like there's no tomorrow! (Again, my common-at-the-time theme of using food to feel some kind of fulfillment inside). Kind of the idea of "Well, if we were still together, we'd be having a party and celebrating and having a special dinner - so guess what? I don't need you to have my own kind of celebration or to eat (and eat and eat). I can celebrate my independance! Who needs ya? Don't let these tears fool you - i'm HAPPY damn it!" (Of course this is pretty much how i observe Valentine's Day - a pseduo Hallmark Holiday if there ever was one!) The music is totally rocking and stomping as if one is trying to have a party but there's still the anger underneath because it's deep down just an advanced form of denial...wanting to go on and be happy and trying all the harder to prove it because you know you aren't. There's a lot of humor in there but it's also very much a total emotional breakdown of a song; the narrator ultimately being a very tragic figure. This is very reflective of how i tend to deal with an overload of pain - i put up a wall of insane usually self-effacing humor. If i know i hate myself and life and that's not going to change i can at least choose to find some humor in it and joke about it instead of letting it all overwhelm me. Why should i cry when i can laugh? This song ultimately is about that battle - trying to put up that brave front because it's all i have left - if that goes, then what's left to stop me from pulling the trigger of the gun aimed at my head?

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