Ursa Major the Great Bear
Name: Ursa Major the Great Bear.
Time of the year: Sept. 3rd - Oct. 3rd. But only the days with a 2, 3, 5, or 9 in it.
Ruling Planet: Altar IV
Element: Honey
Color: Brown
Gem: Blarney Stone
Flower: Black Berry Blossom
Part of the body ruled: Bare Feet (top part)
Famous people under the sign: Yogi, Smoky, Lenin, Papa Bear, Ranger Smith (Ironic huh?),
Grizzly Adams, one out of every three Bigfoots.. Bigfeet? Paul Bryant, Momma Bear.
Best occupation for the sign: Forest ranger, dancer, Wall Street wizard, Leader of all the Russias, Football coach, Mattress tester.
Foods under the sign: Honey, Roots & Grubs, Pick-a-nik baskets, Potato chips, Small Furry Animals, Lost Boy Scouts, Things found under logs, small furry Boy Scouts lost under logs.
Condiment: Honey Mustard.
Clothing Ruled by the Sign: Those funny hats that Frank Sinatra wore in the 50's & 60's, and reto guys wear today. Ties. Trench coats.
Books, Films & Music under the sign: Winnie the Poh, Mom Bearinstean Gets a Nose Job, The Prophecy, ZZ Top.
About the sign: Things can be head, too hard, but for this sign that's just right. There is nothing that Ursa Major likes better than sinking their claws into something and making it their own.
If there is one thing you can say about these folks is that they are ready to step up to life and give it a big hug! They have been to the other side of the mountain and done their business.
But watch out you Ursa Majorians, while you are lumbering your way through life things you don't know about will creep up on you and before you know it they will catch you napping. But you already know about that danger, right? Sure you do! Do you **** in the woods or what?
Ursa Minor the Little Bear
Name: Ursa Minor the Little Bear.
Time of the year: Sept. 4th - Oct. 4th. But only the days without a 2, 3, 5, or 9 in them.
Ruleing Planet: Cybertron
Element: Honey (lite)
Color: Bronze
Gem: Pet Rock
Flower: Blue berry blossom
Part of the body ruled: Bare feet (bottom part.)
Famous people under the sign: Boo-Boo, Baby Bear, Robin, Kato (both the Green Hornet's & O.J.'s), Doctor James Watson, Barney Fiff, TV's Frank, Teto Jackson, Torgo, the second Oswald, Mayor McChesse, Tonto, Gabrial, Willow.
Best occupation for the sign: Side Kick, Co-Host, Second Violinist, Vice President, GoFor, Deputy, Youthful ward, Dupe.
Foods under the sign: Cold Cuts, Those little bitty hot dogs in that red stuff that looks like ketchup, and tastes like ketchup, but BOY! it sure ain't ketchup, Nut & Honey.
Condiment: Salsa.
Clothing Ruled by Sign: Billed Caps. Bow-Ties. Wind Breakers.
Books, Films and Music under the sign: The Bearinstean Kids Eat Paste, Son of Kong, The Transformers Movie, Little Feet.
About the sign: They also serve who only stand and wait, and while they are waiting it would not kill them to go out and pick up some coffee and sandwiches for everyone. I'll have a ham & cheese with mayo, and just cream in the coffee also, when your done with that could you clean up a little around here? It's starting to look like a cave or something. Also check on my laundry and be sure to lock up and turn out the lights before you leave I'm cutting out early today.
It's okay, Ursa Minor is use to it.
Dorado the Goldfish
Name: Dorado the Goldfish.
Time of the Year: Oct. 5th - Oct. 18th & Nov. 3rd - Nov. 9th.
Ruling Planet: Ork.
Element: Chlorinated Water.
Color: Gold.
Gem: Kidney Stone.
Flower: Golden Rod.
Part of the body ruled: Eye lids.
Famous people under the sign: Krusty the Clown, William Jefferson Clinton, Gypsy Rose Lee, Vana White, Tom Servo, The Man in the Moon, Madonna.
Best occupation for the sign: TV News Anchor, Game Show Host, Used Car Salesman, Exhibitionist, Exotic Dancer, Actor (bad), Politician, Voyeur.
Foods of the sign: Watercrest, Fish, Tang, Frosted Flakes. Goldfish Cookies.
Condiment: Classic Yellow Mustard.
Clothing Ruled by Sign: Kimonos. Pantyhose in unusual colors and designs. Tuxedos.
Books, Films & Music under the sign: The Old Man and the Sea, The Man in the Glass Booth, Rear Window, The Boatniks, The Truman Show, U2.
About the sign: They say that all that glitters is not gold, however if a Doradoian can get you to think they are gold and that watching them glitter is a worthwhile pastime then they are willing to forget that old saying.
Yes our little Doradoian lives for the fish bowl, the very thought of it makes their eyes bug out, if that is if they were not already!
But watch out you goldfish, don't swim too long in the spotlight thinking that all you need is your own little castle, a few flakes and a world to watch you. Too many of your kind have ended belly up and ready to be flushed away because of just that attitude.
Vulpecula the Fox
Name: Vulpecula the Fox.
Time of the year: Oct. 19th - Nov. 2ed.
Ruling Planet: Romulus.
Element: Quicksilver.
Color: Vermilion and White.
Gem: Rhinestone.
Flower: Foxglove.
Part of the body ruled: Lips.
Famous people under the sign: Berry (the Flash) Allan, Debbie (of Dallas), Don (El Zorro) Diego, Garin the Fox, Sonic the Hedgehog, Batmite, Elvira, Charles Foster Cane, Fox Mulder (didn't see that one coming did ya?)
Foods of the sign: All fast foods, Coffee, Chicken Eggs, Anything else with caffeine in it.
Condiment: MSG.
Clothing Ruled by the Sign: Anything tight and brightly colored. Running Shoes. Jogging Shorts.
Books, Films, & Music under the sign: The Running Man, The Wizard of Speed & Time, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, REO Speedwagon.
About the sign: ZZZIIIIIIPPP!!!! What was that? Did the quick red fox jump over the lazy dog again? Yep, and jumped right between the Goldfish while doing it.
You go figure, our Vulpeculan does not have the time. Rush, rush, rush, always so fast, makes you wonder how he keeps all those vixens interested in the first place.
But don't sell Vulpecula short. Even though sometimes it seems that nature already has. Just when you think they are a quick, but shallow study Vulpecula's vulpine virtues vault over your vain attempt to pin him/her down and head for the next county.
Not that our Fox will get away scott-free, that never really happens does it?
There always seem to be a least a few people hounding this sign's steps because of a past adventure. But no matter how much these pursuers may smoke his heels we know that deep down it's still just a case of the unspeakable chasing the inedible.
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