Marriage is Honorable

STUDENTS NEED NOT BE OFFENDED BY THIS LESSON. STUDY AND ANSWER WITH A SPIRIT OF LEARNING THE WORD OF GOD
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Scripture clearly teaches that the marriage of a single man to a single woman, neither of which have ever been married before, is God's rule for marriage. A second marriage is permitted only when one has lost his/her first marriage companion through death. But the fall of mankind into sin has brought with it every conceivable variation of sexual corruption. The Bible tells us of the sins of Sodom (men having sexual relations with men), of Lot's incest with his two daughters, and of Judah's sin with his daughter-in-law. We read of the wife of Potiphar and her attempt to seduce Joseph, and of the curse of Reuben because he had relations with his father's concubine. Samson lost his divinely-given strength due to his sins with Delilah. David's sin with Bathsheba carried him all the way to murder. In addition, we have the stories of the rape of Tamar, of Herod's marriage to his brother Philip's wife, and even of a Church of God member who had married his father's wife.

Under the Old Testament Law of Moses, God gave repeated warnings against these sexual sins, even enforcing capital punishment by stoning for some offenses. Yet sexual sins continued as men gave way to the lust of the flesh. When Jesus came on the scene He called his hearers "A wicked and adulterous generation. . . " (Matt. 16:4). Throughout the New Testament God continues to define and condemn sexual sins, plainly stating that those who continue doing such will have no place in the kingdom of God.

With all the Scripture has to say about the matter, one would think the Christian world would be united in its stand against sexual sins. In fact, most of the Christian (so-called) world has become so corrupt that it now makes excuses to allow for these sins. Preachers invent "loopholes" for every sinful situation, permitting sinners to continue in their sins, believing they can be saved without abandoning their sinful lifestyle. This is especially true in the area of adultery and fornication. But God has not changed His mind. His Word remains the same: "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators . . . nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind . . . shall inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Cor. 6:9,10).

Of course, most debates about sexual sins are centered on the subject of divorce and remarriage. Modern definitions of adultery and fornication are used to provide "escape" from marriages which have lost their happiness. Scripture is twisted to give the appearance that God permits divorce and remarriage if one's companion is guilty of fornication (wrongly defined as unfaithfulness). Of course God has not changed his definitions of adultery and fornication, nor will He change His position just because this generation of self-willed pleasure seekers desire to follow their own pernicious ways rather than the Word of God.

Marriage is For Life

God never intended that there should be divorce at all. Even though Moses permitted it under the law, Jesus said that from the beginning (when God Himself instituted marriage) it was not so. God, in His righteousness, created marriage. Man, in his sinfulness, invented divorce. Jesus, the Word of God made flesh, says concerning marriage, ". . . What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matt. 19:6). Nothing could be easier to understand. Man has no authority to grant divorces. Only God has the authority to end a marriage, and He does so only by the death of one of the marriage companions. "Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband" (Rom. 7:1,2). Death alone has the power to dissolve a biblically lawful marriage.

What Is Adultery?

If a person divorces and remarries, that person is guilty of adultery. Paul said "So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress. . . " (Rom. 7:3). Jesus' words are just as clear, ". . . Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery" (Mark 10:11-12). Of course Jesus took it one step further, telling us that if a man lusts after a woman, he is guilty of adultery in his heart, even if the actual act is not committed (cf. Matt. 5:28). According to Christ's and Paul's words, adultery is the act of (or desire in the heart for) sexual relations with one to whom you are not lawfully married. If a person divorces his/her marriage companion and marries another, God says this person commits (engages in the act of) adultery.

What is Fornication?

"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Matt. 19:9).

This is where so many suppose they have found a loophole. By defining fornication as unfaithfulness, most today teach that if a person's husband or wife has sexual relations outside their marriage, this frees the innocent one to divorce and find another marriage companion. The "innocent party," the one who was not guilty of unfaithfulness, is free to leave and marry another. This position is contrary to Scripture, as can be easily shown.

Jesus tells us that if a person divorces and remarries, "except it be for fornication" the person is guilty of adultery. Jesus added that the "innocent party" the person sinned against in the marriage, is not free to remarry, ". . . and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery" (Matt. 5:32) and ". . . whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Matt. 19:9). If fornication is simply unfaithfulness, and the innocent party is free to divorce and marry again, then Jesus is mistaken. He plainly says that if a man is unfaithful, even to the point of divorcing his wife and marrying another-this does not free the first wife to marry again. Even though her husband has been unfaithful, abandoned her and married someone else, if she should remarry she is guilty of adultery!

In other words, God does not recognize divorce in a legitimate marriage. When they took their vows, they became one flesh and will remain one flesh until one of them dies. This is why God does not permit a man to leave his wife and remarry, nor does he permit the abandoned party to remarry. Nothing, not even a divorce decree given by a court of law, can sever the one flesh relationship. Paul adds to Jesus' statement with his declaration, "What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh" (1 Cor. 6:16).

What then is fornication, this exception Jesus gave which enables one to divorce and remarry? Since it is plain that any biblically lawful marriage is for life, and it is plain that to put it asunder and remarry constitutes adultery, then Jesus must be speaking about a marriage which was never lawful in the first place. This explains fornication. It is the state of being married to someone who already has a living companion, even though divorced from that companion. In God's sight, the original marriage still stands, they are one flesh, and anyone who marries a divorced person marries into a state of fornication. He has another man's wife, not his own. He may divorce her in order that she return to her own husband, and he is free to find himself a wife of his own, one who has no living companion.

A.J. Tomlinson, General Overseer of The Church of God from 1903 to 1943, gave the following illustration to explain fornication. "Sallie Pratt comes into a community, forms the acquaintance of John Jenson and they marry. Afterwards it develops that Sallie Pratt has a husband somewhere that she has divorced, but now she has married John Jenson. While John Jenson and Sallie Pratt are living together they are living in adultery. But John Jenson has a perfect right to divorce or put away Sallie Pratt and marry another because John Jenson put away Sallie Pratt for fornication, and now who so marrieth Sallie Pratt which is put away doth commit adultery. Why is it that any one commits adultery who marries Sallie Pratt after she is put away? Because she already had a living husband when she married John Jenson and it was fornication for John Jenson and Sallie Pratt to be married . . . But John Jenson is free to go and marry another because he has no wife, he only had Mr. Pratt's wife in fornication."

The Word of God clearly agrees with this explanation of fornication. In the local Church of God in Corinth Paul saw a condition which he called fornication. "It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife" (1 Cor. 5:1). Here was a condition where a man had another man's wife, and Paul called it fornication. In this case it was even worse, for the sinner had married his own step-mother. Paul added to this, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband" (1 Cor. 7:2). How could it be any clearer? Fornication is having someone else's husband or wife. Therefore, the fornicator is free to divorce and seek his own companion.

John the Baptist literally lost his head over this matter of fornication. Philip had divorced his wife Herodias, and Herod had taken her to be his wife. John the Baptist told Herod, "It is not lawful for thee to have her" (Matt. 14:4). No doubt Herod sought all the loopholes people seek today to justify their sins. He probably used the "innocent party" theory, explaining how badly Philip had treated his wife, and his unfaithfulness to their marriage. But John remained steadfast "It is not lawful for thee to have her." She was still one flesh with Philip. Herod probably tried the forgiveness theory saying that all these sins took place before they knew God's doctrine, and surely God would forgive them and allow him and Herodias to remain together. But John boldly stood for the Word of God "It is not lawful for thee to have her." She belonged to another, and Herod was living in fornication with her. He needed to divorce her and seek a wife of his own who was not already one flesh with another. Instead, John the Baptist was beheaded to silence his voice, and enable Herod and Herodias to ease their conscience.

Jesus said that among those born of women there had not risen a greater than John the Baptist (cf. Matt. 11:11). If there were a "loophole" for Herod and Herodias, then the greatest born among women died in vain. But this was not the case. John died because he would not compromise the truth of God's Word. He preached that which was necessary for men to be saved, and he could have no hope of Herod being saved unless he told him the truth. Likewise, The Church of God is bound to preach the truth. While others feel our message on divorce and remarriage is too strict, we must continue with it because obedience to the truth is the only way men can be saved.

It is not legalism or intolerance which stimulates our message, but love. Men who love money and crowds will compromise the Word, but men who love souls and want them to make heaven will continue to proclaim the truth.
Marriage is indeed honorable, and the bed undefiled. It is when men corrupt the plan of God that honor is lost, sin abounds, and sorrows multiply. As the Church of God continues to live by and declare the Bible truth about marriage, we will have favor with God, and save souls from the corruption which is in the world.

Marriage is God's institution, not man's. We do not have authority to make up rules, or change the rules according to our fleshly whims. In the garden of Eden God created marriage and established the laws of marriage. These are reinforced throughout scripture, and are clearly understood by those who love God and desire to do His will. Nevertheless, we live in a self-willed world which, as the old saying goes, wants to have their cake and eat it, too (or is it that they want to have their Kate, and Edith, too!). In other words, they are never satisfied, they refuse to accept limitations.

They are not content to accept what God has provided to meet their needs, but are determined to indulge in every lustful, fleshly desire. This is especially true concerning sexual desire. Rather than sanctify their desires by the blood of Christ and the Word of God, they seek to pervert Scripture to accommodate their sinful cravings. Gratification of the flesh is foremost in their aspirations, and if God's Word contradicts their desires, then the Word must be manipulated to please them, rather than them changing to meet the requirements of the Word.

There are now a number of conditions which the "Christian" world accepts as grounds for divorce and remarriage. Since the subject of fornication was covered in our last message, we will use this one to look at other areas of faulty thinking which are being used to justify fornication and adultery.

Rewriting the Wedding Vows

"Till death do us part" or "for as long as we both shall live" sounds familiar to most people who are married. These words, or words similar to them, are generally used in the wedding vows which make one flesh of the man and woman who consent to them. It is understood that marriage is for life, and the words of the covenant confirm this understanding. Of course, in our "modern" society, some now opt to say "for as long as we love one another." By use of this statement they feel that they are not required to remain married so long as their companion lives, but only so long as they "feel" love for their companion. By creating this "loophole" in the vow, couples believe they are free to divorce and remarry as soon as their love waxes cold, or they discover they are attracted to someone else other than the one they married.

Man's attempt to circumvent God's intent for lifelong marriages will not stand the test of Scripture. It is God who stated that marriage is for life, and He gives no man the authority to reduce the marriage time frame to "as long as we still love one another." But even with this change of wording in the vow, one does not escape the Word of God: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave himself for it . . ." (Eph. 5:25) and again "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another" (Jn. 13:34). Since God has commanded that we love one another, the change in vows still does not leave room for anything less than a lifelong marriage.

Unfaithfulness

Many today say that unfaithfulness is grounds for divorce. According to this doctrine, if one marriage partner has sexual relations outside of marriage, the other may divorce on the grounds of unfaithfulness, and then remarry. If this is true, how do they apply Matthew 5:27-18?: "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

If adultery is grounds for divorce, and Jesus said if a man looked at a woman with lust in his heart he is guilty of adultery, then a woman can sue for divorce because she saw that "gleam" in her husband's eye when he looked at another woman!1 Many married men today are living with their wives, but their hearts are full of adultery. The only difference between them and those known to be adulterers is that they have not yet openly committed the act. They have merely kept their adultery inside. Such men with lust in their heart are sinners and must repent or be eternally lost, but the Bible does not make this grounds for divorce. Likewise, if a man is married to an unfaithful wife, her adulteries do not provide grounds for divorce. "What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh" (1 Cor. 6:16).

God's answer for adultery is never divorce. In the Old Testament an adulterer was stoned to death. In the New Testament, Jesus said to the woman caught in the act of adultery, "Neither do I condemn thee" and then added "go, and sin no more" (Jn. 8:11). Jesus never saves people in their sins, only from their sins.

The Unequal Yoke

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14). There are some who say this scripture provides grounds for divorce when a Christian is married to a non-Christian. Of course, God does not want Christians to marry sinners. The sad consequences of such marriages are testimony enough to stand as a warning to anyone considering such a marriage. These marriages are bound to be filled with contention and strife as one partner strives to live for Christ and the other lives in sin. Even so, once the yoke has occurred, the marriage is for life. Rather than instructing a person to abandon marriage to the unsaved companion, Scriptural commands are the same as for marriages where both partners serve the Lord. "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear" (1 Pet. 3:1-2).

Notice that Peter tells the wife of an unsaved husband to be in subjection to him, just the same as Paul commands the wife to be in subjection to the saved husband (Eph. 5:22). He then proceeds to tell her that she may win her husband to the Lord by maintaining pure conversation, reverence, and a meek and quiet spirit. Peter makes no suggestion that the yoke be broken, only that the believer seek to produce a Christ-like spirit which will convert the heart of the unbelieving companion.

Again, some use Paul's statement to the Corinthian church as grounds to leave an unsaved companion. "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases . . " (1 Cor. 7:15). From this verse of Scripture it is surmised that if an unsaved companion is not willing to live with the Christian companion, the Christian is free to divorce and find another marriage companion. But this Scripture says nothing about divorce. In fact the whole passage in which this verse is found teaches the very opposite. "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him" (1 Cor. 7:10-13).

Notice Paul first states that the Lord commands that the wife not depart from her husband. But if she departs, she is to remain unmarried or seek reconciliation to her husband. Likewise, the husband is not to put away his wife. Paul then tells those with unsaved companions that if the unsaved is willing to continue living with them they are not to separate from them. Paul is thus agreeing with Peter. There is no scriptural authority to break the yoke of marriage, even if it is an unequal yoke.

If the unsaved companion refuses to live with the Christian, then Paul says "let him depart." Nothing is said of divorce or remarriage. A woman is bound to live with a husband, even an unsaved husband so long as he is pleased to live with her. But if he chooses to leave, she cannot be bound (enslaved) to stay with him-let him depart. But separating and departing are not divorcing. If Paul was stating that divorce was in order, he would be contradicting what he just said in verses ten and eleven, where he commanded that those separated were to live alone or be reconciled to their spouse. Nothing is this passage carries even the hint of divorce, much less remarriage. Paul's conclusion is conclusive: "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:39).

Old Things are Passed Away

2 Corinthians 5:17 is often used to support the "forgiveness" theory. "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away: and behold, all things are become new." False teachers today say this verse means that when a person gets saved, all past sins are forgiven and forgotten. Therefore if one has been married more than once, God forgives and forgets the other marriage failures and this person begins with a clean slate in his present marriage.

Such doctrine is blasphemous to the Word of God. First, it totally neglects repentance. Biblical repentance includes being in godly sorrow for sins committed, and forsaking sins. Scripture clearly defines this kind of repentance. "Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon" (Isa. 55:7).
A person who leaves his wife and remarries is living in adultery. The Bible commands him to forsake his sinful way and his unrighteous thoughts. Then he comes to God and receives mercy and pardon.

God requires more than just "believing" on the Lord Jesus Christ. He requires repentance, turning from sin to righteousness. "I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish" (Luke 13:3). "Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ" (Acts 20:21).

Repentance toward God, and faith toward Jesus Christ is the recipe for salvation. Men must turn away from their sins as well as place faith in the shed blood of Jesus Christ in order to be saved. This means that if a person is in a second marriage (or more) he is living in adultery. Repentance requires that he abandon his adulterous marriage and seek reconciliation with his true wife, with whom he is still one flesh until death.

In neglecting repentance, this "forgiveness" doctrine creates a Pandora's box of problems. Suppose the altar call is given and sinners respond, coming forward and praying through to salvation. Then the preacher states, "Now that you are new creatures in Christ, old things are passed away, and all things are become new. You are forgiven of all past sins and failures. You who are in second marriages may continue living together, because God has forgiven your adultery."

Consider the problems this presents. First, how about the man's first wife. Perhaps she is in the congregation, along with their children. She has been caring for them as best she can, and praying for their father to return and restore their happy home and family. She rejoices to see her husband at the altar and looks forward to her home and marriage being rebuilt. Instead she hears the minister approving of the adulterous affair of her husband, and telling him he is now free to continue in his adulterous marriage, ignoring his wife and children who are waiting for him to come home!

Carry this doctrine on to its natural and required conclusion concerning other sins. Two of those at the altar are sodomites, men who have been living together as though "husband and wife." The preacher tells them "Old things are passed away. All things are become new. God now recognizes your relationship as pure and undefiled. God bless you. Go in peace!"

As horrible as this sounds, many churches are now recognizing homosexuals as Christians, and even ordaining them as ministers. Too bad Lot did not know about this kind of grace. Instead of God raining fire and brimstone down on Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot could have made them all Christians, without them needing to repent!

If an adulterous marriage suddenly becomes sanctified by God because the parties involved testify to being believers, this must be true of all other sins as well. There is no reason for the murderer to cease killing, or the thief to quit stealing. The liar's lies are now made holy, and the drunkard's drunken condition is now sanctified.

Of course all this is absurd. God's Word is plain. He hates sin, all sin. Adultery and fornication are no exceptions. "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Cor. 6:9,10). And to this is added: "And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God" (1 Cor. 6:11).

Praise God for the grace which does not leave men in their sins. Yes, once we were (not "are") sinners, but through the grace of God, we are washed and sanctified from all sin.
Marriage is honorable when it exists within the framework of Biblical law. Outside that law, marriage and sexual activity is destructive to the individual, the family structure, and the eternal salvation of those who ignore God's commands.

We cannot compromise this doctrine, because God's Word does not compromise it. Failure to uphold the truth will result in the loss of many souls, perhaps even close loved ones. God forbid. Let us continue to preach the truth, for only truth can set men free.
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