This man had been on the desert island for a long time when a ship finally came to his rescue. One of his rescuers questioned him on the way back to civilization:

"You were all by yourself on that island for years and years?"

The man nodded "yes".

"Well, I noticed there were three buildings on the island . . . Did you build those yourself?"

Again, the man nodded "yes".

"What was that small building for?" his rescuer asked.

"That was my house," the man said.

"And the biggest building in the middle?"

"That's where I went to church," the man said.

"Okay," said the rescuer, "but why did you build the other building . . . what was it for?"

"Oh," said the man, "that's where I used to go to church!"

A DOCTOR, AN ENGINEER, AND A LAWYER WERE HAVING A DISCUSSION ABOUT WHOSE PROFESSION WAS THE OLDEST. THE DOCTOR SAID, "I CAN PROVE MY PROFESSION IS THE OLDEST: SURELY, THE FIRST SURGERY PERFORMED WAS WHEN GOD REMOVED A RIB FROM ADAM TO CREATE WOMAN; SINCE NO PEOPLE WERE IN THE WORLD BEFORE THAT EVENT, MINE HAS TO BE THE OLDEST PROFESSION."

THE ENGINEER SPOKE UP: "I'M SORRY, BUT MY PROFESSION IS EVEN OLDER. GOD CREATED THE WHOLE WORLD AND EVERYTHING IN IT IN ONLY 6 DAYS . . . . SURELY YOU ADMIT THAT WAS THE GREATEST ENGINEERING FEAT OF ALL TIME!" THE DOCTOR READILY AGREED THAT THE ENGINEER'S PROFESSION WAS OLDER.

NOW THE LAWYER SPOKE. "GENTLEMEN, I'M AFRAID I HAVE YOU BOTH BEAT."

"YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY," THE ENGINEER SAID. "BEFORE HE CREATED THE WORLD, THERE WAS NOTHING AT ALL EXCEPT CHAOS IN THE UNIVERSE."

"EXACTLY," SAID THE LAWYER. "AND WHO DO YOU SUPPOSE CREATED ALL THAT CHAOS??!?"

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.

They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.

He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers buy no tickets at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.

When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "ticket please."




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Background music is Copyright © 1996, 1997 by Michael D. Walthius. All Rights Reserved.
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