ANOTHER PARROT JOKE
A man holding a parrot came running and screaming into a veterinarian's office. The vet immediately brought him into an examining room.
The vet carefully examined the parrot, and then said to the man, "I'm sorry, but this bird is dead." The man began to cry, "No! No! That can't be true! I want another opinion." The vet thought a second, then said, "okay," and left for the back office. He returned with a black Labrador retriever. The Black Lab sniffed and sniffed the bird and finally gave a low "woof" sound and looked up at the vet. The vet said to the man, "The dog thinks that the bird is dead too."
The man said, "I don't believe it! I want another opinion!" The vet then left with the black Lab and came back with a cat. He placed the cat on the examination table and the cat walked over to the bird and sniffed, and nudged and sniffed and nudged the bird again and again, finally the cat shrugged its shoulders and walked away from the bird. The vet said, "The cat thinks it's dead too." The man sighed and said, "I guess you're right. How much do I owe you?" The vet said, "That will be $600.00." The horrified man said, "Six hundred bucks! Just to tell me my bird is dead? That's ridiculous! That's outrageous!" The vet then said, "Well, I was going to charge you $50.00, but then I had to include the Lab fees and Cat scan."
There was once a snail that was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".
The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"
The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."
Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee. The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed.
And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"
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There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow me." They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in. A guy at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed." The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The guy at the door says, "A Doberman Pinscher?" He says, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good." The guy at the door says, "Ok. Come on in." The guy with the Chihuahua figures why  Background music is Copyright © 1996, 1997 by Michael D. Walthius. All Rights Reserved. |