Are You A Turtle?

"You Bet Your Sweet Ass I am"

ybysai turtles

All non-turtles & turtle wanna-be's can apply for membership at the rua turtle group listed below & or from a card-carrying turtle in good standing. Hurry it's not too late before "Turtle Awareness" week (which is the first week of August) Wear your Turtle badge with Pride!

What is a turtle? A turtle is a high minded indivual who refuses to allow his/her mind to dwell in the gutter. A quality which may only be tested through rigorous questioning & intiation.. Turtles were the first animals created on Earth & other planets. They rule the Universe. There is no excape! Secret turtles know you. Do you know them? Ask daily "Are you a turtle? Turtles reframe from eating soup of any kind, fearing that there may be turtle soup ingredence hidden in it somewhere (some non-turtles are still trying to make turtles become extinct) How many licks does it take to get to the center of a toostie roll pop?

What is the Turtle creed? Turtles are bright eyed, bushy tailed fearless & unafraid folks wth a fighter pilot attitude. They think clean, have fun a lot, & recognize the fact that you never get any place worthwild in life unless you stick your neck out.

How can YOU become a turtle too? you must be able to answer five riddles with pure thoughts. Learn the password & always answer with the password when asked "Are You A Turtle?" The penality for not answering correctly is you have to buy the askie a drink of their choice. New turtles must prove their loyality by singing the "Turtle Song" to non-turtles 24 hours a day for eight months.

Where can I find the riddles & password? Under the purple rock in your back yard or in the willow tree hollow and also At the yahoo turtle group listed below- R U A Turtle (the first link listed)

email ruaturtlenut@yahoo.com

What do Turtles do? They make lots of other turtles to avoid losing their Turtle status. Turtles spead joy & laughter where ever they go. They are wise & clever & happy to share their knowelge with anyone who will listen. Anyone caught hiding a non-turtle will be punished & subjected to a fine of providing a lifetime supply of beef jerky & or beer-nuts to the Turtle Congress.

Where do I find the Turtle message board? In the R U A Turtle link below. This is a new group on yahoo with many features for turtle news & updates, plus voting polls & photos & bookmarks. You are welcome to join & post questions & answers. BEWARE of Snapping Turtles working towards Imperialship!

What are the benifits of being a turtle? You will not get arrested by the Turtle Police & you will not be forced to live with racoons who will try to eat you! You get a card that you can show to your friends & they will be highly impressed! Some of our high ranking turtles have been astonuts, presidents, shriners, masons,elks, firemen, policemen, vets, teachers, hobos, movie stars,doctors and musicans. Most clowns are turtles too.

Where can I get a membership card? Join the R U A Turtle group (listed below) and Send a postcard with the password & your request to RUA Turtle? PO Box 8181 Flint Michigan 48501 USA It is illegal not to carry your card on you at ALL times. You may want to order extras to wallpaper your bedroom (& other rooms) with. It will greatly enchance your love life .

Our Ruaturtle group now has over 400 members

join us at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ruaturtle (yahoo put it in an adult catorgory which we do not belong in. So don't be alarmed when you have to admit & agree to be an adult to get to the group. Don't worry we uphold the turtle theme of clean & pure thoughts)

Bookmark this very important turtle news page before you become a non-turtle & are forced to live with the hobits & trolls.

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